Feb. 19 News Update

05/25/2011 11:50 am ET

More details revealed about Vice President Cheney's hunting accident. White House Press Corps, The Internet and comedians all over America celebrate National Cheney Month.

Information about accident first disclosed to Corpus Christi Caller-Times. Outsourcing to India not available.

Cheney discusses accident during interview on Fox TV. Why in the world would he go on Fox?

Cheney says it was he who pulled the trigger. Maybe it's a good thing he got all those deferments during Vietnam.

When former VP Dan Quayle heard about the quail-hunting accident, he thought, "That Cheney guy is a real potatoe-head."

After the shooting, Cheney said he saw his good friend "laying on the ground." His English is as bad as his aim.

Bill O'Reilly says hunting accident not really news. Guess that's why it's on the covers of Time and Newsweek. Fox News as oxymoron. Would it be a story, Bill, if Cheney had hit his friend with a loofah?

White House says President Bush is satisfied with Cheney's explanation of the incident. More important, Cheney is satisfied that Bush is satisfied.

During post-State of the Union tour, Bush describes himself as "not only the Commander-in-Chief, but also Educator-in-Chief." No wonder UN academic survey shows US ranking 18th among 24 industrialized nations.

In another diagnosis via TV, Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist says on "Face The Nation" that the black and blue-faced shooting victim looks "great." Certainly looks better than Terri Schiavo did.

After reporting record profits in the billions, Big Oil companies will make billions more by not having to pay royalties to federal government for drilling on federal land. They'll no doubt use their windfall to lower the price of gasoline.

Saddam Hussein threatens hunger strike. Plans under way to force feed him Doritos? Where's Ionescu when we need him?

Old Google image: Brave defiant resistance to US government request for user information. New Google image: Craven cave-in to Chinese government censorship demands.

Speaking of magazine covers, People has Brittney Spears on its cover with headline "Brittney Speaks Her Mind." Her what?