02/26/2007 11:25 am ET Updated May 25, 2011

February 26 News Update

President Bush has moles removed from his forehead. That's right, moles. Just moles! Forget about the lobotomy jokes. He had that long ago.

Some British troops pulling out of Iraq. Ditto Denmark. Following Spain, Italy, South Korea. Coalition of the No Longer Willing?

VP Cheney says British withdrawal indication of progress But says Democrats' call for withdrawal of US forces would validate Al-Qaeda's strategy. Huh? Must be off his meds again.

Prince Harry to be deployed to Iraq. Obviously didn't consult Cheney about how to get deferment.

Congressional Democrats contemplating resolution revoking Bush's authority to wage war in Iraq. Waste of time. He'll just issue another signing statement and ignore it anyway.

Sen. McCain says Rumsfeld one of worst Defense Secretaries in history. Where you been for the last four years, Senator?

Cheney disputes McCain's appraisal. Be thankful, Dick, that he didn't also point out that you are one of the worst Vice Presidents in history.

Presidential election campaign: Hillary versus Obama. Cheney vs. McCain. It's going to be a long, long two years.

Former Iowa Gov. Tom Vilsak drops out of race for President. What, you didn't know he was in?

Controversy swirling over a Mormon, Mitt Romney, running for President. Even though he promises, if elected, he'll have only one First Lady.

Comedian Al Franken announces he's running for the Senate from Minnesota. No chance. Senate already overrun with comedians.

Evangelical Christians reportedly frustrated in trying to find candidate to back for 2008 election. Unfortunately, Attila not available.

Sign of healthy democracy: Number of candidates for president still outnumbers men claiming to be father of Anna Nicole's baby.

Florida judge weeps while deciding Anna Nicole Smith should be buried in the Bahamas. Reason? Because his 15 minutes of fame were over.

Brittney Spears shaves head, gets tattoos, goes into rehab. OK, OK, we've heard enough about Brittney Sheared. Now hairless all over. Still can't compete with Anna Nicole Smith on so-called news shows on cable TV.

Pregnant actress says NE Patriots QB Tom Brady is father of her baby. Hey, Tom, you're in the NFL, not the NBA.

Former NBA star Tim Hardaway recants comments about hating gays. Converted by Siegfried and Roy's introduction to the NBA All-Star game in Las Vegas?

Fox starts fake new show. How can you tell?

Rabble-Rouser Al Sharpton says news that he's a descendant of slaves owned by relatives of former segregationist Sen. Strom Thurmond is "shocking." Is there anything this guy won't do to get in the papers? Besides, who cares?

NYC issues free condoms in packets representing subway lines. Men obviously didn't want to accept condoms representing bus lines, like the M5.