03/27/2010 05:12 am ET | Updated May 25, 2011

Jan. 25, 2010, News Update

JAN. 25, 2010, NEWS UPDATE

Severe aftershocks follow earthquake in Haiti. Severe aftermath follows political earthquake in Massachusetts. Democrats get their Mass. kicked, left singing the blues in traditionally blue state.

There once was an AG named Coakley,
Whose campaign was really a joke-ly.
She ran against Brown,
Got really knocked down...
So the Dem's are no more oakie-doakie.

President campaigned for Democratic candidate in Virginia. He lost. For Democratic candidate in New Jersey. He lost. For Coakley in Mass. She lost. Mr. President, perhaps you should think about a Rose Garden strategy for the next round of elections.

Special election called to fill seat of late Sen. Ted Kennedy,who held it for 47 years and spent much of that time trying to get passage of health care reform, which Brown vows to block as Rep. Sen. #41. Is that enough irony for one night?

Did you know winner of the election, State Sen. Scott Brown, was actually a Republican? You didn't if you listened to his acceptance speech. Come to think of it, didn't mention it much during campaign either.

But he now goes to join that big NO Machine in Washington known as the GOP-Grumpy Opposition Pinheads. Wonder if he'll take his pick-up truck with him.....

Republicans, happily adopting the UPS slogan ask, What can Brown do for us?��� Answer: FedEx health care reform to dust bin of history.

Brown's election victory leaves Democrats with only a 59-41 majority. Only. Which means they can't get anything passed. Ain't democracy grand? As Winston Churchill once said, "Democracy is the worst form of government, except for all the others that have been tried."

During acceptance speech, Brown asked victory crowd, "Can we do better?" The crowd roared, "Yes We Can" Ouch.

Pundits bloviated so much over this election they virtually forgot about anniversary of Obama's inauguration. Doubt they would have given him a B+ for his first year in office as he did.

Arianna Huffington says Dems' loss in Massachusetts may be "blessing in disguise." Arianna, dahling, you must be listening to too much Pat Robertson, who said earthquake it Haiti may have been "blessing in disguise." With blessings like that, who needs condemnation?

Supreme Court eliminates campaign finance reform, rules that corporations and unions should be treated like individuals and allowed to make major contributions to political campaigns. Ruling will be known historically as Buy Yourself A Legislator Decision.

If Corporations and unions to be treated like individuals, why not tax them like individuals?

When worse decisions are made, they'll be made by Roberts, Scalia, Thomas and Alito.

Mike Bloomberg sworn in for third term as Mayor of New York, which he bought for only $102 million of his own money during campaign. Promises to listen to the people --except when they set a two-term limit for Mayor.

NBC finally resolves late night comedy of errors. Jay Leno goes back to Tonight Show. Conan O'Brien walks away with $32.5 million after underperforming badly. Who does he think he is, a Wall Street banker?

Late night disaster brought on by Jeff Zucker, Chairman and CEO of NBC Universal, after he guided network into 4th place in prime time ratings. Guy's a real ZuckUp.

White House crashers, who were angling for reality show, finally got one of sorts-live Congressional hearing. They bombed as performers took the Fifth.

White House invokes separation of powers in refusing to allow White House Social Secretary Desiree Rogers to testify at same hearing. That's Bush League. Literally and figuratively.

Indianapolis Colts defeat New York Jets in AFC football championship game. Owner and coach of winning team credit God with victory. Jets now trying to figure out how to draft Jesus for next season.