07/04/2009 05:12 am ET | Updated May 25, 2011

June 2 2009: News Update revised

General Motors now Government Motors after being towed into bankruptcy. President Obama apparently liked his presidential Cadillac limousine so much he decided to take over the company. CIC (Commander-in-Chief) now also CSIC (Car-Salesman-in-Chief).

For first time in history, Memorial Day Sales included not only cars, but entire car companies.

Statement by onetime GM CEO Charlie "Engine" Wilson that "what's good for the country is good for GM and vice versa" still valid. Country is bankrupt, so why not GM?

Fiat wraps up global alliance with Chrysler. Are the Italians really going to do better with Chrysler than the Germans did?

Deal revives old Fiat jokes.
What do you call a Fiat on top of a hillside? A miracle.
What do you call two Fiat's on top of a hillside? Science Fiction.
What do you call three Fiat's on top of a hillside? A Fiat factory.

With GM run by the US Government and Chrysler run by Fiat, who's going to save Ford? Edsel Ford?

President Obama takes wife to dinner and a Broadway show in the Big Apple, saying he was fulfilling a campaign promise. Hope that's a precedent for rest of term.

Republicans immediately complain that "while President Obama is preparing to to wing into Manhattan's theater district on Air Force One to take in a Broadway show, GM is preparing to file for bankruptcy and families across America struggle to pay their bills."
No, that's not from The Onion, or The Daily Show or the Colbert Report or a Jay Leno monologue. That's a real statement from the RNC. You can't make this stuff up.

NY Mayor Michael Bloomberg defends Obama trip, pointing out the President is "not paid that much." (Salary of $400,00 per year, plus free housing and some other perks). Spoken like a true billionaire.

In the wake of the fatal accidental shooting of a black cop by other
cops in Harlem, Rep. Charles Rangel jokes, badly," that Obama better "make sure he doesn't run around East Harlem unidentified." Where's Don Imus when we need him? When Rangel's hand is not in your pocket, his foot is in his mouth.

Newt Gingrich charges Supreme Court nominee Sonia Sotomayor's 2001 remark about a Latina woman and a white male were racist and she should withdraw her nomination. Also says Nancy Pelosi should resign as House Speaker because she claimed CIA lied to her about torture. Gingrich certainly knows something about resigning. Sounds like he's taking the same drugs as Rush Limbaugh.

Abortion doctor George Tiller murdered in Kansas. This is pro-life?

Bill O'Reilly had vilified Tiller for years, dubbing him "Tiller the Baby Killer" and charging he "murdered" infants and had "blood on his hands." Whose blood on whose hands now, Bill?

Former presidents Bill Clinton and George W. Bush paid $150,000 each for engaging in televised "debate." More of a lovefest. They should give the money back.

Upset Weekend:

Swede Robin Soderling hands Rafael Nadal first defeat ever at French Open. Robin who? Robin Soderling, meet Buster Douglas.

Scottish singing sensation Susan Boyle comes in second in British talent show, has nervous breakdown. Fifteen minutes of fame are up?

Bull severely gores Spanish matador Israel Lancho. Way to go, Toro. Hope they allow you to retire to stud.

Conan O'Brien debuts as Jay Leno's replacement on "Tonight Show," gets mixed reviews. O'Brien as new Coke? Letterman salivating? Even Jimmy Kimmel thinking of moving to 11:35PM.