06/25/2007 03:41 pm ET | Updated May 25, 2011

June 24, 2007 News Update

US Military commanders say "surge" is now complete in Iraq. Surge in American deaths is not. Surge in number of inSURGEnts getting away continues.

US Military concerned about Iraq government's meeting benchmarks set for September. Is there a benchmark for American casualties?

President Bush vetoes stem cell research legislation. And makes clear he's also against them Al Qaeda cells as well.

Vice President Cheney claims he's not member of Executive Branch in order to avoid complying with presidential directive on classified documents. What next? Seating himself on Supreme Court?

New York Michael Bloomberg, who left Democratic party to run as a Republican, leaves Republican party to become an Independent. And if that doesn't work, there's always the Vegetarian party. Besides, doesn't he know that Joe Lieberman has given Independents a bad name.

Bloomberg switch fuels speculation he may be planning presidential campaign. Isn't there a Constitutional height requirement?

Department of Homeland Security considers moving into grounds of St. Elizabeth's, famed mental institution. Figures.

Ralph Nadir (sic) said to be considering another run for president to comply with wishes of his supporters -- both of them. They should re-open St. Elizabeth's for Mr. Has-Been.

Vatican issues Ten Commandments for driving. Curiously, no ban on Hummers. Moses has nothing to worry about.

Staffers at Today referring to GMA as Gay Morning America. GMA staffers refer to Today as Yesterday. C'mon kids, if you're going to act like high schoolers, why don't you go play softball. Oh, you did?

CNN shows video of Taliban graduation ceremony for suicide bombers. Guess they won't be planning class reunion.

Rosie O'Donnell in running to replace Bob Barker on The Price Is Right? When Donald "Canceled Apprentice" Trump found out, he offered to buy the show and change the name to The Trump Is Right.

Paris Hilton to appear on Larry King when she gets out of prison. Just wants to prove she can handle a tough interview.

Barbara Walters says she stopped trying for Hilton interview because it wasn't an important story, like the Menendez Brothers. Sure, Barbara, glad to see you've got your priorities straight.

NBC News adamantly denies it ever pays for interviews. For example, NBC paid $2 million for rights to broadcast concert honoring Princess Diana, then Matt Lauer got interview with Prince Harry and Prince William. But that was strictly because of Matt Lauer's journalistic prowess, you see.

Dubai buys Barney's chic department store. Much more fashionable than managing ports.

Gay Pride March held on Fifth Avenue in New York. What actor whose last name is the same as first president of US was not asked to be Grand Marshal?