03/27/2006 11:40 am ET Updated May 25, 2011

March 26 News Update

General Motors to offer buy-outs and early retirement to all its unionized workers. Any way to do the same for Bush, Cheney, Rice and Rumsfeld?

President makes speeches, holds news conference to promote positive picture of War in Iraq. As lawyers say, when you have the facts on your side, argue the facts. When you have the law on your side, argue the law. When you have neither, holler! There's a whole lot of hollerin' goin' on.

Iraqi Prime Minister Allawi says his country is in a civil war. Bush and Cheney say it's not. How dare that guy presume to know what's going in his own country?

Bush and Cheney insist "progress" is being made. Right on! It took the United States more than 70 years to have a civil war. Iraq is there in less than three.

Bush acknowledges final withdrawal of US forces from Iraq will be left to his successor. At least that's better than no exit strategy at all. "Mission Accomplished" banner to be stored in White House basement?

Retired Army General describes Rumsfeld as "incompetent strategically, operationally, and tactically." However, more important--NOT politically.

A list of Cheney's travel demands includes the requirement that all TV sets in his room be tuned in to Fox News. That's the Oxymoronic Channel. No wonder he doesn't know what's going on in Iraq.

Bush and Cheney also lament the news and pictures of violence coming out of Iraq instead of all the good news. And come to think of it, why didn't the media report on all the good weather around the country during Katrina?

The President said at his news conference he wants to know what's going on with all those unused Katrina trailers. So do all those homeless Katrina refugees.

Conservative columnist Fred Barnes writes fawning book about Bush, praising among other things the fact that he "revealed his proactive tendencies after Hurricane Katrina..." Just like his "proactive tendencies" before 9/11? Call it The Weakly Standard.

Barnes also suggesting that Cheney resign and be replaced by Condoleeza Rice. Sorry, but Condoleeza has already more than used up her allotment of The Peter Principle.

Case against Afghan Muslim who faced death penalty for converting to Christianity has been dropped. Wonder what would have happened if he had converted to Judaism?

Democrats object to Republican efforts to crackdown on illegal immigrants. Republicans object to Democratic efforts to crackdown on Bush for illegal wiretapping. Aren't you glad you live in a nation of laws?

Hillary Clinton says Republican immigration law would probably criminalize Jesus. Yeah, but what kind of a car would he be driving?