March 28, 2011, News Update

03/28/2011 05:28 pm ET | Updated May 28, 2011


President Obama returns to Washington after five-day trip to... to... uh... Where WAS he anyway? Oh yeah... Brazil, Chile and El Salvador. Media were more interested in his views on Libya than in anything going on in those countries.

In Brazil, Bam booted around a soccer ball with kids. Should've stuck to hoops. Back home, however his March Madness Bracket bombed out... none of his picks reached the Final Four...

On the topic of bombing, Boom-Boom Obama authorized use of US warplanes to help enforce no-fly zone over Libya. He's now first Nobel Prize winner to wage war in three countries. (Even Henry Kissinger only had one). No, folks in Oslo not asking him to give it back.

Administration's term for intervention in Libya is not war, however. It's "kinetic military action." Pentagon-ese on steroids.

No Pentagon-ese from Pentagon Chieftain Robert Gates, who says Libya "not a vital interest of the United States." Can't wait for the president's spin Monday night.

America's well-known addiction to oil now being challenged by its growing addiction to conflicts in Muslim lands. Still have Yemen, Bahrain and Syria to go... Can Saudi Arabia be far behind? Sheiks said to be shakin'.

Demonstrations by thousands of protesters in center of a capital city turn violent... Damascus?... Sana'a?... Manama?... Nope. London. Protests fueled by opposition to national budget cuts.

Donald Trump raises issue of Obama's birth certificate during appearance on The View. Host Whoopi Goldberg says that's "B.S." Little late to the game, Whoopi, observing that Trump is full of it.

Trump flirting with throwing his hair into presidential ring. Michelle Bachmann also considering a run... Likewise Ron Paul. Late night comics salivating.

General Electric reports profits of $14.2 billion (with a B) in 2009, pays no corporate taxes by exploiting loopholes. Many other US corporations evade taxes by employing armies of lobbyists to persuade Congress to provide those loopholes and by establishing phantom headquarters overseas. And you wonder why we can't balance the budget?

Singer Chris Brown apologizes for trashing ABC dressing room after appearance on GMA. Just channeling his inner Charlie Sheen.

In other show biz news, comedian George Lopez calls Kirstie Alley a "pig" because of her weight, then apologizes. Explained English is his second language.

Big East Conference has 11 teams entered in college basketball championship, but only two make it to Sweet Sixteen. Now known as Big Least.

Japanese horses finish one-two in $10 million Dubai World Cup, world's richest horse race. May seem trivial in light of earthquake/tsunami disaster, but it was a big deal in Japan -- and good to see something positive about Japan in the news.