News of the Week In Review

First, the Non-News: Harry Potter sells. Tiger Woods wins a major. Corruption in Chicago city government. President Bush names a conservative white guy to the Supreme Court.

Mrs. Bush said she was hoping he'd appoint a woman. Laura Dear, you got a few laughs at a black tie dinner in Washington. That's about it, sweetie.

Sandra Day O'Connor laments that the representation of women on the Supreme Court has dropped by 50%. You should have stuck around.

New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg, a Republican, sort of, says he won't back John Roberts unless the judge declares his support for Roe v. Wade. Yo, Mike, I hate to break the news, but you don't have a vote in this matter. Of course, this has nothing to do with your re-election campaign.

Note that Judge Roberts' wife is an anti-abortion activist. Expect Roe v. Wade to be pillow-talked to death.

When John Roberts' name was announced, there was a lot of excitement in the CBS Newsroom. With no fake documents to mislead them, however, they eventually got the story right. Besides, they concluded that their John Roberts has better hair.

In the midst of the debate about the nomination, the media have missed a major aspect of the story -- the bold and daring move of a Yale guy naming a Harvard guy to the Supreme Court. Will Skull and Bones show up at the Senate hearings?

In the case of the outed CIA agent, President Bush said he would fire anyone in his administration who committed a crime, after first saying he would fire anyone who leaked the information. What he meant was that he would fire anyone who committed a capital crime.

Former Senator Alan Simpson says the media think that Karl Rove is a "manipulative bink." We do? In fact, we might -- if we knew what that meant.

Polls show Bush's performance and credibility ratings at an all-time low. Where were all you people last November?

Jude Law admits to having a fling with the nanny of one of his kids. Does that mean she's no longer a tax deduction?

China floats the yuan. Yawn.