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News Update for Nov. 20

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Rep. John Murtha calls for withdrawal of US troops from Iraq. Murtha to Iraq as Cronkite to Vietnam?

President Bush says it’s irresponsible for critics to claim he misled nation into war. Obviously thinks misleadership is better than no leadership at all.

Vice President Darth Cheney says charges the Bush Administration misrepresented pre-war intelligence are the most “dishonest” ever aired in Washington. Right. The more honest charge would be that they lied.

Administration also claims critics are trying to “re-write history.” Wrong—they’re just trying to remember it, like Cheney’s declaration that “there’s no doubt Saddam Hussein has weapons of mass destruction” and that US troops would be greeted as “liberators.”

Cheney also says talk about withdrawing US forces from Iraq should be deferred. Well, he certainly knows a thing or two about deferments.

France extending state of emergency after weeks of rioting by Muslim youth. Since France didn’t go to Iraq, Iraq went to France.

Bob (Mr. Access Journalism) Woodward says a source told him two years ago about Valerie Plame working for CIA, but he kept it secret. Who does he think he is? Judy Miller?

Senate Republicans shelve resolution honoring Bruce Springsteen. Couldn’t possibly be because he campaigned for John Kerry, could it? Forget “Born in the USA.” GOP prefers “Tenth Avenue Freeze Out.”

Pope Benedict XVI comes out in support of “intelligent design” theory of evolution, quoting St. Basil The Great, a 4th Century saint. Fourth Century? That sounds about right for the Catholic Church.

Liberia elects first woman President. As Liberia goes, so goes the United States?

China vaccinating 15 billion birds. Halliburton trying to figure out how to get the needle contract.

NASCAR driver arrested for reckless driving. Accused of taking his work home with him.

Multi-millionaire Gov.-Elect of New Jersey, Jon Corzine, will be paid $1 a year. Jerseyans hope he’s worth it.

New Jersey looking for new state slogan. How about, “New Jersey—Best Way to get from Philadelphia to New York”?

Nicole Richie writes novel about adopted child of superstar singer who does drugs, gets reality show, has falling out with show’s co-host…. Wait a minute—Didn’t we already read this in People Magazine? Asked if it’s a roman a clef, Richie says it’s not about Italians.

Columnist Robert “No Facts” Novak not returning to CNN.

At last-- some good news on the network.

GQ Magazine names Jennifer Anniston “Man of the Year.” Isn’t that carrying this Metrosexual thing a little too far?

Cruise ship repels pirates off Somalia with powerful expensive sound machine. Blasting them with Hip Hop would have been cheaper.

And in sports news: Philadelphia Eagles suspend Terrell Owens for rest of season. T.O. now known as B.O.