News Update

08/21/2005 11:19 pm ET | Updated May 25, 2011

Bush clears brush. Not much else.

Congress still out. Humorists despair.

Time cover: Kanye West. Newsweek cover: Spirituality in America. Bush clears brush. Congress still out.

Iraq struggles with Constitution. Bush relates it to 1776 America, missing by a couple of centuries. Iraqis discussing 1576.

Top Army General says US planning for possibility of keeping American forces in Iraq until 2009. No surprise. We heard that at Republican convention in 2004: “Four more years.”

Sen. Chuck Hagel says Iraq beginning to look like Vietnam. Duh!

Rush Limbaugh claims anti-war protester Cindy Sheehan made it all up. Is he back on drugs?

Merck socked with $253 million judgment in Vioxx death case. Merck obviously in need of serious painkiller.

Israel leaves Gaza Strip. Sharon inspired by John Milton, Aldous Huxley? Jewless in Gaza.

Female executive finally occupies White House. But only in the kitchen.

Roger Ailes named head of Fox television. Shows to come: Desperate Democrats… Law and Order in Iraq… Your RNC… Crawford USA… W conquers all…

Sen. Bill Frist endorses teaching of “intelligent design” theory of evolution in schools. Stem cell research represents triumph of “science over faith.” Intelligent design represents triumph of politics over science.

Christian videos to enter marketplace. First off: Virgin birth. PETA organizing campaign to ensure fair characterization of lions.

Judge Crater found. Can Jimmy Hoffa be far behind?