News Update

Subprime financial crisis deepens. Poor people with lousy credit can't afford homes. Who knew?

Merrill Lynch Chairman ousted over subprime fiasco. Poor guy leaves with only $160 million severance package.

Citigroup Chairman also ousted over subprime fiasco. Even poorer guy walks with mere $68 million severance package.

Democratic presidential candidates hold another debate, this time in Las Vegas. Any similarity between debate and craps table was purely coincidental. Judging from ratings, what happened in Vegas stayed in Vegas.

PBS NewsHour devotes gobs of air time to primary in Nevada, perhaps least representative state in country. Advancing primary date in Nevada obviously paid off, news judgment notwithstanding.

Coverage of Iowa caucuses heats up. Media getting frenzied over another unrepresentative state whose system launched Jimmy Carter.

Columnist Robert (No Facts) Novak says Clinton campaign has "scandalous" information about Barack Obama but decides not to use it. Obama had affair with Valerie Plame?

Karl Rove hired as columnist for Newsweek. Time magazine going after Scooter Libby?

Sen. John McCain asked by questioner, "What can we do to defeat the bitch?" Refers question to Barbara Bush.

International panel of former pilots and government officials calls for reopening of investigation into UFO's. Dennis Kucinich to be called as first witness.

Warren Buffet slams tax system which allows rich people to pay less in taxes than middle class, supports estate tax. Why isn't he running for President?

Buffet reportedly advised Alex Rodriguez to deal with New York Yankees on new contract. Maybe that's why he's not running for President.

A-Rod to sign 10-year deal with Yankees. Guess that means no World Series Championship for the Yanks until 2018.

Team of women competing in international bridge tournament faces sanctions, including one year ban from competition, for holding up hand-made sign saying, "We did not vote for Bush." Bet you didn't know the Dixie Chicks played bridge.

Justice of Peace in Las Vegas rules OJ Simpson must stand trial on charges of kidnapping and armed robbery. Simpson's lawyers trying to get trial moved to Los Angeles.

Barry Bonds indicted on charges of perjury and obstruction of justice. David Justice says he's not involved. Cell of Shame instead of Hall of Fame? Maybe they'll build a prison wing in Cooperstown.

Bonds off hunting and not available for comment. If convicted, perhaps he'll be sentenced to go hunting with Dick Cheney.

People magazine names Matt Damon "sexiest man alive." Damn. Another year I didn't make it.

Comments

[westwind]

Thanks, Richard, for your consistently funny and insightful takes on the madness that most people apparently see as normality.

Who needs 23/6 when we have you?