Nov. 30, 2009, News Update

03/18/2010 05:12 am ET | Updated May 25, 2011

President Obama hosts first formal White House dinner, Indian Prime Minister honored. My invitation apparently lost in mail.

Thought about crashing until I heard meal was vegetarian. Besides, there's no way in hell you can crash a White House dinner with all that Secret Service Security in the Age of Terrorism, right?

Imagine being invited to formal White House dinner and being served main course of roasted potato dumplings with tomato chutney, sides of chickpeas and okra. At least they served real wine.

Obama to announce new strategy for Afghanistan Tuesday night. Any chance he'll announce plan for withdrawal, saying we have no national interest there? Naaah ...

United Nations nuclear watchdog agency issues resolution demanding Iran stop work on nuclear enrichment plant. Iran so intimidated it announces it will build ten more such plants. How do you say chutzpah in Farsi? Ten more plants promise to be expensive -- will take a lot more planes to bomb them.

Tiger, Tiger, burning bright...
Why did you go out at night?
Did you have an awful fight?
Were you set on taking flight?
Now it seems we'll never know....
Drive for show and putt for dough.
(Embarrassed is how you term your plight...
So you won't play this weekend in your own tournament) ... OK, OK, so it doesn't rhyme. You want rhyme all the time, go read Ogden Nash.

Luckily, Tiger drives better on the golf course than in his own driveway. Meanwhile, rumors swirl about affair with another woman ...

Day after Thanksgiving retail sales sluggish as shoppers go meekly to the malls. Black Friday more like Gray Friday.

Markets roiled as Dubai asks for delay in repaying $60 Billion in debts. Oil selling at ONLY $75/barrel, local development spending planned while oil at $140/barrel. No wonder City/State broke.

Turns out Governor Terminator owes thousands in back taxes. No wonder California is broke.

New York Gov. David Paterson, trailing Atty. Gen. Andrew Cuomo by 59 points (59!), insists he will run for election in 2010, spending half a million bucks on self-promotion TV ads. No wonder New York broke.

California First Lady Maria Shriver sanctioned second time for using cell phone while driving. Third time -- three strikes and she's out? Gets 25 years in the can?

Resigned CNN Anchor Lou Dobbs said to be considering run for Senate in New Jersey against Sen. Menendez. Wouldn't count on Hispanic vote if I were you, Lou.

PBS to revamp NewsHour with Jim Lehrer, dropping name from program, using co-anchors. No loss. Whatever his merits as newsman, may be worst anchor in TV history -- never met a preposition he didn't love.