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Richard Valeriani Headshot

Oct. 26, 2006, News Update

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After recount shows thousands of fraudulent ballots in presidential election, Afghan President Karzai agrees to run-off. How surprised will you be when he runs off with the run-off?

While contemplating new strategy in Afghanistan and planning withdrawal from Iraq, Obama Administration declares new war-against Fox.

President says he's "not losing sleep over it." He leaves that to advisors.

Obama criticized for not inviting any women to play in basketball game at White House. Puh-leeeze ... You see any women playing in the NBA? Besides, Nancy Pelosi can't dunk. President not losing any sleep over this either, but during waking hours, he did ostentatiously invite female staffer to play golf with him.

El Diario endorses Bill Thompson for Mayor in New York City, compares Mayor Bloomberg to Hugo Chavez. Por favor, senores, Bloomberg never called George Bush a "diablo." But he did apparently waste a lot of time trying to learn Spanish.

Federal pay czar cracks down on pay for bankers, but approves bonuses of $3 million, $4 million and $7 million for three AIG executives. Hey folks, it's your money...

Pope Benedict XVI invites disgruntled Anglicans to join Roman Catholic Church, including married priests! But no female priests, please, and certainly no gays and nobody who uses condoms. He wants to welcome you back to the 17th Century. And what about those gruntled Anglicans?

After three years of probation, actor Mel Gibson gets DUI conviction expunged from public record. Next up, with new young girlfriend, getting marriage annulled by Vatican?

"J Street," new lobbying group describing itself as as Pro-Israel and Pro-Peace, holds first national convention in Washington. Traditional conservative lobby, AIPAC, shows pro-peace credentials by trashing J Street. Israel's Ambassador declines invitation to speak. Israeli government not only doesn't want to talk to Palestinians, it also doesn't want to talk to pro-peace Israelis.

NeoKook Michael Ledeen falls for internet hoax about Obama supposedly dissing Constitution in college thesis. Limbaugh runs with it. Ledeen apologizes. Limbaugh admits hoax but says "we know (Obama) thinks it." Hey Rush, better you should go back to complaining about his birth certificate. Or being trained by radical Muslims. Or winning the Nobel Prize.

Two South Carolina Republican County Chairmen defend Sen. DeMint's opposition to congressional earmarks by comparing him to "wealthy Jews" who save pennies so that dollars take care of themselves. What do you mean, anti-semitic? Just a little stereotyping.

Candidate for state adjutant general raffles off AK-47 at campaign launch. South Carolina-the state that keeps on giving ...

Gourmet Magazine serves final dessert. But don't despair ... we still have Paula Dean and Rachel Ray.

In Sports News Update: Washington Redskins hire veteran offensive coordinator Sherman Lewis to call plays for QB Jason Campbell. Two weeks ago, Lewis was calling bingo games at retirement home. Just remember, Sherm, I-25 is not in the playbook.

Chicago Cubs declare bankruptcy. Are we talking finances here or baseball ability?

NY Jets QB Mark Sanchez seen on sidelines eating frankfurter/w mustard during rout of Oakland Raiders. What's wrong with that? Unless it's considering hot-dogging.

Baseball analyst Steve Phillips fired by ESPN after copping to quickie affair in parking lot with assistant. Maybe he can find a job at the David Letterman Show.