Sept. 28, 2009, News Update Updated

President Obama makes first address to UN General Assembly, amazingly does not make health care reform pitch.

Obama gets Israeli Prime Minister Netanyahu and Palestinian leader Mahmoud Abbas to shake hands. Whoopee! Peace is at least at handshake if not at hand. What's needed is not a shaking of hands but a meeting of minds.

Obama then says Blah Blah Blah and then Blah Blah Blah about peace in Middle East. SOS. Middle East problem and Fidel Castro have outlived terms of 10 US Presidents. Not sure about Castro, but Middle East certain to outlast Obama too.

Obama not present during speech by Iranian President Ahmadinejad White House was afraid he's shout out, "You Lie."

Ahmadinejad so eager to defend Iran's presidential elections, he forgets to deny holocaust again.

Afghan President Karzai skips UN appearance this year, says he doesn't want to share platform with guy who steals elections.

Libyan leader Kaddafi allotted 15 minutes speaking time, rambles for hour and a half. Just trying to make up for the 40 past years not invited.

Local realtors and hotels deny Kaddafi accommodations. C'mon guys, he's really, really rich. Just take his money and and rant.

Kaddaffi finally pitches tent on Donald Trump estate in Westchester County. See, guys, that's why Trump is rich.

In disclosing existence of "secret" Iranian nuclear facility, Obama says, "The size and configuration of this facility is inconsistent with a peaceful program." Are you sure they is, Mr. President? That's what the Grammar Police want to know.

G-20 Meeting held in Pittsburgh. Pittsburgh? Why Pittsburgh? Well, that's what happens when you win the Super Bowl.

Jay Leno has Rush Limbaugh on his prime-time show. Must really be desperate for ratings.

Iraqi journalist who threw shoes at President Bush released from jail, says he was torturned. Probably tortured for missing.

Journalist honored with erection of sofa-sized shoe statue in Tikrit, Saddam Hussein's home town. Hmmm. Wonder what they would have done if he'd exposed himself to Bush.

Fox Noise transitions to all-widescreen format. Now you get your misinformation with bigger pictures.

Detroit Lions defeat Washington Redskins for first win in 19 games. White House credits stimulus package. Detroit newspaper headline: "Fail to the Redskins." DC newspaper headline: "Washington bails out Detroit."

MacArthur grants announced. Another year I didn't get one. Damn!