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Rick Hanson, Ph.D.

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Rest

Posted: 07/28/11 09:27 AM ET

This practice is definitely a case of teaching what you need to learn: I've been working through a big bucket of tasks lately with little chance to rest. I console myself with knowing that the bucket is emptying a lot faster than it's filling with new tasks.

Sometimes you can really feel what you need to do by feeling what's happening for you when you don't. "Don't" -- that is: ease up, unwind, recharge, put your feet up, take a load off, just chill. Because when you don't rest, you wear out, wear down and start running on empty. Then you're not much good for yourself or anyone else.

But when you get some rest and get more rested, you have more energy, mental clarity, resilience for the hard things, patience and wholehearted caring for others.

I promised my wife this would be my all-time fastest "Just One Thing" to write, because I really need some rest!

And you do, too.

How?

Tell the truth to yourself about how much time you actually -- other than sleep -- truly come to rest: not accomplishing anything, not planning anything, not going anywhere. The time when you don't do anything at all, with a sense of relaxation and ease. No stress, no pressure, nothing weighing on you in the back of your mind. No sense of things undone. Utterly at rest.

Probably not much time at all, if you're like me.

Also acknowledge to yourself any unreasonable beliefs or fears about resting -- for example, that if you rest you'll lose your edge, things will fall apart, you'll let people down, others will judge you.

Now imagine a kind, wise, fearless friend looking over your shoulder and knowing both how little time you rest and your "reasons" for not resting more. What will your friend tell you? Similarly, listen to your own innermost being about you and resting. What is that still quiet voice saying to you?

Imagine the benefits for you and others if you listen to the support and wisdom of your dear friend and innermost being. Then commit to what makes sense to you, in terms of nudging your schedule in a more restful direction, refusing to add new tasks to your own bucket, taking more breaks or simply helping your own mind be less busy with chatter, complaints about yourself and others or inner struggles. For example:

1. Upon first waking, bring to mind your fundamental purpose in life, whatever it is, and rest in the felt knowing of it, in giving yourself over to it, like resting in the warm cradling current of a great river.

2. At meals, pause for half a minute with your food before you start eating.

3. Be aware of that little space between the end of an inhalation and the beginning of an exhalation (or vice versa). From time to time each day, notice that space and rest into it.

4. When you complete a task, take a break for a few seconds or more before shifting gears to the next one.

5. Promise yourself that you'll take a minute or more each day to sit quietly and remain present with yourself while doing nothing (this is an essential type of meditation).

6. Have real times each day when you truly "clock out" -- no longer on task or accountable to anyone.

7. Encourage your mind to come to rest at least occasionally. Tell yourself you can worry/problem solve/grumble later. The mind/brain is like a muscle, and it needs to stop working sometimes to replenish and rebuild itself.

And when you rest, sink into its pleasures, its rewards, and sense them sinking into you, like a warm rain falling on thirsty ground.

Rick Hanson, Ph.D., is a neuropsychologist and author of the bestselling "Buddha's Brain: The Practical Neuroscience of Happiness, Love, and Wisdom" (in 21 languages). Founder of the Wellspring Institute for Neuroscience and Contemplative Wisdom and Affiliate of the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley, he's taught at Oxford, Stanford, and Harvard, and in meditation centers in Europe, North America, and Australia. His work has been featured on the BBC, NPR, Consumer Reports Health, and U.S. News and World Report. His blog -- Just One Thing -- suggests a simple practice each week that will bring you more joy, more fulfilling relationships and more peace of mind and heart. If you wish, you can subscribe to Just One Thing here.

 
 
 
This practice is definitely a case of teaching what you need to learn: I've been working through a big bucket of tasks lately with little chance to rest. I console myself with knowing that the bucket ...
This practice is definitely a case of teaching what you need to learn: I've been working through a big bucket of tasks lately with little chance to rest. I console myself with knowing that the bucket ...
 
 
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03:45 PM on 07/31/2011
Why sleep when you can go to work & work 24/7.
03:32 PM on 07/31/2011
"Come unto me all ye that labor and I will give thee rest, for my yoke is easy and my burden is light" Christ declares, as another reminder of how to re-charge oneself, (by meditating on The Word of God) on this day 'That The Lord Hath Made" - therefore, " let us rejoice in it ", even if life is quite unbearable at the moment. In a little while, all of our burdens shall be lifted altogether....
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
celtcalgal
alba gubrath
02:22 PM on 07/31/2011
raising a pre-schooler I would have him follow me to our rest-room door and have him talk to me through the door......was'nt realy a ' rest ' but at least i knew he was safe...
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timskee
Smoke 'em if ya got 'em
11:40 AM on 07/31/2011
My ex-wife, a psychologist, would tell me to clear my mind and don't think about anything. Just let your mind rest. I told her that I cannot think about nothing. Then she told me "yes, you can". So knowing that I cannot think about nothing, that my brain is always thinking, I told her it's not possible. She then asks me "what's wrong with you"? "Everyone can do it". Believe it or not, that was the begining of the end of our marriage. She told me something must be wrong with me. She carried on for months telling me I'm screwed up. I'll ask you good folks, can any of you shut down your brain so you are thinking about nothing? I contend to this day that it is not possible. What do you think?
12:13 PM on 07/31/2011
sad that your ex-wife psychologist didn't give you any tips/techniques to help you instead of just berating you - yes everyone can learn to be still and clear their mind however it is a learned skill - different methods work for different people - maybe your mind will respond to bio-feedback - maybe not - and in the beginning when you clear your busy mind it may be for maybe only seconds - but it is a step in the right direction towards total relaxation - and isn't that the goal of this exercise?
03:35 PM on 07/31/2011
Yes, there is "something wrong with you" and what's wrong is that you were not paying attention in your Sunday School Class, when the teacher was warning everyone not to become "unequally yoked". Now go back to the teacher and ask him what this means......
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timskee
Smoke 'em if ya got 'em
08:56 PM on 08/01/2011
Well SuperDave, I never attended Sunday school, so your reply means squat to me. I was raised in a devout catholic family and when I stopped the brainwashing "unto me", I just threw that "yoke" off. Did you stop to think that I may be "Superhuman" and my brain is like the energizer bunny? I can't explain why my brain is always working, but I can say that God or Jesus Christ has nothing to do with it. So, now I've upset God, Jesus and you. Now maybe if they want me to be one of their examples, then tonight when I lay my head down to rest, they can make my brain stop working. I will not hold my breath waiting though. If God was just, he would not have taken my second son from me. If God was just, he would not have subjected me to this unbearable physical pain which is with me 24/7. If God was just.