Cheney, Selling Cheney

There's another way to look at it.

Dick Cheney's "I'm Not Going Anywhere" tour, that is. You can't turn on your TV these days without seeing the former veep filling the screen with his latest account of what they did back when they were in charge, and why they did it, and how wonderfully it all worked, and how if it didn't work it was somebody else's fault. (Think George Tenet. Think Richard Clarke.) And most of all, how the new guys are messing everything up.

Cheney's former boss -- and we use the word loosely -- may have slunk back to his beloved Texas when his time was through. But not the veep.

And the question is, "Why not?"

There's a cottage industry devoted to plumbing Dick Cheney's motives. After all, it's traditional -- not to say polite -- to cede the spotlight to the new arrivals once your lease runs out. But Cheney won't go. He certainly won't shut up.

And the question is, "What's up with that?"

He's jealous, some people say. He just can't stand it that the Dems are back on top.

He's angry, other people say. As the years went on, he was more and more on the losing side in Bush administration strategy battles, and he's still trying to refight those fights.

Or he's vain. He's intent on polishing up his tattered reputation before the historians get a crack at him.

Or he's nervous. He's scared that some international police force is going to swoop down on him someday and hold him to account for the waterboarding and the other horrors of the dark side, so he's trying to put his version on the record first.

Or he's a conniver. He's saying Obama is letting our guard down so that, if ever and whenever another attack occurs, Cheney can duck his own responsibility for Osama bin Laden still being on the loose, and he can say, "See? I told you so!"

Or he's a patriot. He's speaking out because the country he loves is in mortal danger, and somebody has to be willing to sound the alarm. (Maybe so, although you'd like to think that before he went public with "Our defenses our down! We're vulnerable!" he'd tried to pass the word through the appropriate private channels. After all, telling our enemies that this is a good time to come after us may not be the best way of keeping us safe, right?)

Plausible explanations, every one of them. But there's another explanation. An even better explanation.

The book deal.

Dick Cheney is looking for a book deal. Absolutely true -- the story was in the papers a couple of weeks ago, but the few people who saw it probably didn't pay it much attention.

After all, they must have said to themselves, who's going to want to publish Dick Cheney's memoirs? He left office with an approval rating down there with the lepers -- no insult intended to lepers. And worse than that: The guy was pretty much invisible for eight years! "Dick Cheney" and "undisclosed location" went together like "Heck of a job" and "Brownie." Like "Abu" and "Ghraib."

Even the truest of true believers, they must have figured, weren't going to rush to pick up a book by a guy who's famous for saying practically nothing about practically everything. For a memoir to sell, you need a writer who's willing to spill the beans. Who's willing to name names and point fingers. Dish the dirt and settle scores.

That's what gets readers psyched. Which is what gets publishers psyched. Which is what starts the bidding war. Which is what jacks up the price of the deal.

Which may be the whole point of the recent Cheney barrage -- not jealousy or anger or vanity or nerves or conniving or even patriotism.

Maybe he's just in it for the money.

What a relief.

Rick Horowitz is a syndicated columnist. You can write to him at [e-mail].

Comments

[Wiseronenow]

No, it's not the book, it's not the money from the book, although I hesitate to say he wouldn't refuse it, nor is he of the more "lower" bent upset with Obama not doing things his way, BECAUSE he is positioning someone "else" to get the word out, his daughter. And, the reason for that m.a.d.d.n.e.s.s.? I feel he is positioning her for a run for the p.r.e.s.i.­d.e.n.c.y. in 2012. What better way to then be able to say, "I never really left" and we have the next three and one half years to be reminded of that from her too. It's all about p.o.w.e.r. folks and that's what his w.i.t.h.d.­r.a.w.a.l. s.y.m.t.o.m.s. are all about now.

[Jamchinadian]

Sorry, not "buying" that. It''s all the explanations you gave EXCEPT - the one about him being a patriot, and the one about the book deal. He's already filthy stinking rich and wallowing in oil and weapons profits. And if he was a true patriot he wouldn't be undermining a president who is doing his level best to cleanup the Cheney-Bush messes.

[SirReal1]

I'll go out on a limb here and predict that approximately 21% of registered voters will buy his book.

[exoevolution]

Yes "money" IS the issue for Cheney & for that matter ALL Limbaugh Corporatist Republican's - money for THEMSELVES & their CORPORATE "owners", rather it be the Insurance Industry, Health Care Industry, War Industry, Energy Industry, Wall Street "Casino" Industry, the list goes on... but money is only allowed to "trickle down" for the common, you are on your own in the "own"ership society, the PEOPLE... Dick Cheney is THE face, THE voice, THE soul of the CORPORATIST REPUBLICAN PARTY... Dick Cheney is speaking for the DARK SIDE of America... The Corporate OVERLORDS of GREED, LIES, WAR & "their" inglorious mission of AMERICAN EMPIRE... Cheney, Limbaugh & Gingrich - the troika, the trifecta, of an America ruled by MONEY to support & continue "their" world view that "worships" THE SUPREMACY of the WEALTHY!

[JennyT]

That's the problem ...

[JennyT]

Dick Cheney has always been in it for the money.