Lumps of Coal in Cheney's Stocking

If Dick Cheney had Dennis Kucinich's voice, people would think he's a lunatic.

Since Dick Cheney has a deep voice, a calm and well-modulated voice, people constantly give him the benefit of the doubt -- and that's the real lunacy.

The days are winding down on the outgoing administration -- Only eight years? It seemed so much longer! -- and the "History with a Twist" Tour is heating up. You can hardly turn on your television without running into the chief executive of the land and his trusty sidekick -- those would be Dick Cheney and George Bush, respectively, -- telling you how much better everything went during their tenure than reason, or the facts, say it did.

The latest foray into fantasy came just this past weekend, when Cheney subjected himself to the always-fierce questioning of Fox News, in the person of Chris Wallace. The news accounts of the appearance described the veep as "unapologetic." That doesn't quite capture it. Genghis Khan was "unapologetic." Dick Cheney took remorselessness to a whole new level.

He conceded virtually nothing. He retreated not an inch. And whatever it was, he'd do it all again without a second thought or a moment's regret.

"I feel very good about a lot of the things we've done in this administration," he told Wallace. "I think that they will be viewed in a favorable light when it's time to write the history of this era."

That would be the light of the emerald sun Hyena, in the constellation Wingnut.

Here on Planet Earth? Not so much.

Had the incoming veep, Joe Biden, been sharply critical of Cheney's approach to the job? Of the way Cheney had amassed power, and exercised influence? Had Biden promised a rebalancing of authority in the new administration? Cheney flicked his successor aside like so much pocket lint.

"(I)f he wants to diminish the office of Vice President," Cheney taunted, "that's obviously his call. I think that President-Elect Obama will decide what he wants in a Vice President. And apparently, from the way they're talking about it, he does not expect him to have as consequential a role as I have had during my time."

Apparently, from the way they're talking about it, Barack Obama actually intends to be his own president. Apparently, Obama isn't interested in having his strings pulled like a dime-store yo-yo by the guy who's supposedly his second-in-command. (Then again, Obama wasn't the sort to put Biden in charge of his vice-presidential selection search, and then let Biden select himself. That alone should have set the Cheney alarm bells clanging.)

Look -- I said it at the time, and I still believe it, more than seven years later: When those planes hit those buildings on September 11, Dick Cheney did the country a very good turn. If we had to have one half of the Bush-Cheney duo bouncing around the country in an airplane, and the other half sitting in a White House bunker analyzing intelligence and issuing orders, I'm glad we had each of them where we did: Bush up in the air, Cheney underground.

But the lessons Cheney took from that day -- and from the decades-long grudge he'd held against those who'd responded to a corrupt president (Richard Nixon) pushing an unwinnable war (Vietnam) by tightening the reins on his successor (Gerald Ford, the man Cheney served as chief of staff) -- those lessons went way past what was necessary. Let alone legal. Let alone helpful. Let alone wise.

His judgment as vice president has been mostly terrible, his influence pernicious, his advice consistently counterproductive, even dangerous. The damage Dick Cheney has done to America's security interests in the world has yet to be fully calculated. Not that he'll ever admit to any of it.

He's got a nice voice, though.

Rick Horowitz is a syndicated columnist. You can write to him at [e-mail].

Comments

[SparkyDash]

Thank you, Mr. Horowitz! Great post. "If Dick Cheney had Dennis Kucinich's voice, people would think he's a lunatic" You are correct..Cheney had a way of brainwashing with his voice. I remember reading that when the administration needed fast damage control (and it was frequent) they would send Cheney out on the Sunday pundit shows, and Bush's ratings would improve by the next day...UGH! I consider DC a nutter. And that smirking, unapologetic face admitting horrendous acts and justifying it with war..I say rubbish. We're getting an honorable, honest and compassionate statesman in the office of Vice President January 20. Cheney can't exit fast enough. He must feel insignificant next to Joe Biden. Honestly, I don't see how individuals like Cheney sleep at night.

[CrankyCurmudgeon]

Dick Cheney has all but assured his place in history. Perhaps the most infuriating part of this man's tenure is that, were he to live another 100 years and see just how despised his memory will be, he would find it amusing and uplifting.

The man proves humans are capable of completely losing their humanity. His lack of remorse, coupled with Bush's inability to think of anything he would have done differently, are monumental displays of hubris, ignorance, and dispassion. I'm so dumbfounded by the two of them, I find it hard to be appalled . . as we all should be.

[fishgirl26]

Dick Cheney is......................................undescribable in his coldness. His "So?" answer to whether he cared if the American people approved of the war sent me over the edge. Really??? So??? Then Bush's "So What?" came along and I knew.....these two should be locked up somewhere for what they have done to so many lives. 4000+ soldiers, countless wounded and mamed. Not to mention families and also Iraqis that got caught in the middle. These two (but mostly Cheney) will never care about what they have done. They merely cared about lining their pockets and getting back at old foes like 2 frat boys that were rejected by the coolest frat at college. It's called Karma Dick, and it's a b---ch when it comes back to bite you.

[11907281]

Cheney is a role model to tyrannical dictators and despot all over the world, you can't buy that kind of gift at your local wal-mart.

[truji999]

Amen

[Davwbaird]

A great sense of humour. We all know that Bush is going to pardon all but Scott McClellan. I propose that his library not be official and his secret service detail be withdrawn.

[Chlowina]

I second that.

[Larkinvos]

McClellan didn't commit any crimes.
He has nothing to be pardoned for.

[blaqntelligence]

I third that. And also propose an extended stay at The Hague.