For my next trick, I will burn the Koran.
A whole mess of Korans.
My congregation and I will build a bonfire, and we will throw the so-called Holy Book of Islam into the flames. We will do this over and over again, with the whole world bearing witness. We will do this dozens of times, until there is nothing left of these devil works but ashes.
That'll show 'em!
My congregation and I may not be numerous, but come the day, we will show the world that the power of numbers is no match for the power of true belief.
We are the true believers. We are the holy ones.
We will be heard.
And let us say "Amen!"
There are some who insist that we are playing with fire. They say that September 11 is a sacred day. They say that September 11, of all days, is not a day to be burning the Koran.
But would they have us burn the Koran on September 12? No! Or September 13? No!
The fact is, these people don't want us burning the Koran on any day!
There is no compromising with such people. There is no middle of the road. Which leaves us no alternative: If there is no "acceptable" day for burning the Koran, then we might as well choose the day that gives us the most bang for the buck.
We will be noticed.
We will be seen.
Even the generals now stand against us. Even America's own generals, honor-bound to stand up for America's own interests, now side instead with the forces of evil. We must not set the Koran on fire, they tell us. It will inflame passions. It will put our soldiers -- America's soldiers -- at risk.
We have prayed on their words. We have definitely prayed on their words. And what has been revealed to us is this: We are not responsible for what happens to those soldiers.
If passions are inflamed, it is hatred that has inflamed them. It is evil that has inflamed them. If by our actions, we cause that hatred and that evil to be revealed to the world, we have done the world a service.
We will not feel guilty. God does not want us to feel guilty -- God wants us to feel good.
This will make us feel good.
Where are the faith leaders rallying to our side? Why have they turned from us, and from our one true way, and called instead for "tolerance" and "understanding"?
Do they tolerate us? Do they understand us?
Or do they condemn us, and label us as extremists? As mortal threats to a civil society and a peaceable world?
But is the devil not the true extremist? Is the devil not the ultimate threat? And should those who do the devil's work here on earth not be called to account for their actions?
Certainly they should! And all the more so when they try to cloak those actions in false words of holiness. My congregation and I know which words are true, and which are false, and we will call them each by name.
We will shine a light on what is false, until the world sees what we see. If that light is the light of a bonfire, so be it. If that bonfire grows and grows until it becomes a holy conflagration consuming the world, purifying the world, so be it.
And if it falls to us to be known forever after as the spark for that bonfire, and for that holy conflagration -- it is as the Lord has written:
Any publicity is good publicity.
Rick Horowitz is a syndicated columnist. You can write to him at email@example.com.