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You Thought That Was Bad? 22 More Reasons to Fear Health-Care Reform

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Page 28: "Sharing" of electronic medical records allows government to compile private data about millions of Americans, and make annoying prank calls on important birthdays.

Page 61: Provides for annual checkups, and all body-temperature readings must be made with rectal thermometers kept below 35 degrees Fahrenheit.

Page 97: If Grandma's already dead, you have to pull the plug on Grandpa -- even if he's not sick!

Page 112: Requirement to remove all metal objects before certain diagnostic tests -- a plot to confiscate constitutionally-protected guns from anesthetized Americans.

Page 164: Reimbursable examination robes will have slits in back and front.

Page 170: Ban on easy-open pill bottles, part of government effort to make seniors want to die sooner.

Page 245: In case of pandemic outbreak, nothing prohibiting small children from being quarantined with chinchillas.

Page 311: Forced "sterilization" of all surgical tools. One more step toward forced sterilization of everyone.

Page 398: No guarantee of cherry-flavored cough syrup. Flavors will be selected by government-run "phlegm panels."

Page 426: You will be forced to share your hospital room with an illegal alien, and the alien's entire family can stay in your room all night.

Page 519: Bio fuels to run government-dispatched ambulances will be derived from body fluids of aborted fetuses and kidnapped militia members.

Page 563: List of acceptable sites for medical-waste disposal doesn't include your house, so government-run hospitals are free to turn your backyard into a toxic site without paying any compensation!

Page 602: No provision preventing government agents from breaking into your home to verify the labels and dosage levels of your personal prescription drugs.

Page 700: Oppressive new mileage standards for power-driven wheelchairs.

Page 914: No semi-automatic weapons permitted in operating rooms.

Page 988: All doctors, nurses and medical technicians required to speak with hard-to-understand foreign accents.

Page 1013: Pre-death harvesting of vital organs permitted during "Happy Hour" on first Wednesday of every month.

Page 1042: No prohibition on sending "socially unproductive" seniors into low earth orbit.

Page 1051: Government-funded registry of patient "blood types" opens door to secret vampirization of health-care system.

Page 1057: Coverage of so-called "mental-health services" gives federal government unfettered access to brain waves, another step toward Washington-directed mind control.

Page 1079: No restrictions on conducting disabling medical procedures on Fox News anchors.

Page 1124: Encourages "rational steps" by doctors to ascertain patients' wishes in end-of-life situations. "Rational" and "rationing" begin with the same six letters. Coincidence?

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Rick Horowitz is a syndicated columnist. You can write to him at rickhoro@execpc.com.