My Senior Springtime Partay was rudely interrupted by this email I received the other day:

Dear Riley,

Our records indicate that you borrowed a federal student loan while you were enrolled at Wheaton College. Federal regulations and college policy require that ALL borrowers attend exit counseling prior to...

Dear High School Senior Who Just Got Rejected From __________,

You got rejected from __________? Don't worry I know someone who goes to __________ and trust me he is a huge jerk.

You are probably full of self-doubt, and your voicemail is probably full of messages from a Marine...

In these modern, consumer-savvy times hardly a day goes by without an inquisitive prospective student asking a college tour guide, "The facilities here are very impressive, especially the climbing wall, but is your college committed to Excellence?"

And hardly a day goes by without a college tour guide responding,...