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Rita Wilson

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Posted: 10/03/11 01:01 AM ET

If you're reading this without glasses consider yourself lucky.

Many of you are looking to your future and creating a vision for the next few decades. Whether your future is Calgon clear or as grey as the hair you dye, life for Post50 Boomers is probably nothing like what your parents' was. I know there are those of you will argue the differences between Boomers and Jonesers. We will have thousands of discussions about what defined our generation. But for now, just go with the flow.

At middle age, my parents had married off my sister and were waiting for my brother and me to walk the down the aisle. Dad worked towards retirement and Mom cared for my sister's young girls. After Dad retired, my parents waited for more grandchildren to care for. More babies came. Dad golfed and he and Mom, together, did their Victory Laps of Parenting, taking care of everyone's grandchildren's needs. My parents didn't question what their future held.

The future for Boomers is different. Our parents were winding down at middle age; we are winding up. There are so many options available to us. Our generation is Go, Go, Go, Go, Go, Do Do, Do, Do, Do --which, I believe, is a recently-unearthed Sinatra record . My parents were cool with how simply they spent their time. But for us, there's so much to do, so little time.

Maybe your options are not of your choosing, but ones that have been imposed on you. A lot of you are caring for aging or sick parents. Some of you might be calculating how old you'll be when your twin toddlers graduate from college and whether your walker will fit up the aisle of the plane. Maybe your kids have returned home after college. Maybe your nest is empty. Maybe you'll travel and take a lover in South America. Whatever your current position, you've probably looked into your metaphorical crystal ball and imagined some of the above.

Having recently become a new grandmother, Gramps and I are also still raising a techno teenager. While some Boomers are standing on one leg in the park perfecting their Tai Chi, I'm learning how to rebalance being there for my loved ones while exploring all the things there are to do creatively, professionally and physically. Since life is pregnant with possibilities, do Boomers have more awareness than our parents did about what to expect when you're expecting -- middle age, that is?

We want life to be a celebration of having made it this far. I have had family and friends get sick, or die, lose money, lose jobs, lose spouses and lose their minds. I have friends who have risen from the devastation to see a new path ahead. We don't want to squander whatever glorious time is left.

I have seen people I don't know inspire me and teach me about their journeys in middle age. I'm blessed with good health, although on occasion I have avoided working out so as not to ruin a good blow dry, I look OK without any plastic surgery or fillers, no judgment on those who have. I try to find the humor in situations and pray for those who are hurting. Saying "Thank you, God" for being alive is a mantra. Seeing my family thrive is joyous and comforting, yet never taken for granted. Giving back to the community becomes more rewarding with age especially when we think of what we can leave behind.

My team and I hope this new site will be helpful as you plan your life between now and your 100th birthday. Hey, my mom is turning ninety next month so it's not that far fetched. There is always hope. There is always another day with some good music in it. I may be biased, but did our generation not have the best music ever??? Go, go, go, go, go, do, do, do, do, do.........

Keep up with me on facebook and twitter.

 
 
 
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08:40 AM on 11/18/2011
In 2007, after twenty years as a successful television producer came a 6 month writers strike. I wasn't getting any younger and the prospects of finding a post strike job were about as likely as finding a natural blond in Beverly Hills so I decided to reinvent myself. by combining my creativity and passion for clothes which were increasingly difficult to find in my size.

Clothing manufacturers didn't seem to really care about real women with their original body parts and increasing numbers of "icky bits" so I bought a sewing machine, sketch paper and fabric and went to work. I am now 55 and just celebrated by 3rd year on HSN.

The learning curve has been steep and I have had to find all sorts of new ways to eat humble pie, but I love it. I realized that in your 20s you get hired for your potential, in your 30s for your skill set, in your 40s for your track record and then in your 50s you have to get in touch with your new potential.

Your advantage is that you're standing on a mountain of experience. When you get on a horse, if you look down where you are now, you'll fall off. You have to look at where you want to go and that's how you jump over the fence. You have to be fearless and get ridiculous. Nothing is impossible..
01:33 PM on 10/12/2011
Cont... from 4

So basically I want to make a point from my generation to yours; please calm down. You are getting older, yet you "still have so many options available"..! That's nothing new. But your collective inability to take it in stride, is very symptomatic of your generation.
Your generation needs to remember the responsibilities that continue with your children, especially when they start having families of their own. Do you think that ended when we went to college? Certainly not, and it wont for me either with my kids.

There is no "squander" of time in being a good grandparent. And leaving behind loving memories and good connection with your family, is a gift that is better than anything.
Heads up Boomers! The "me" generation is a label no one wants to die with. It sounds so very lonely.

Respectfully,
Sarah
01:33 PM on 10/12/2011
Cont...from 3

As you state " giving back to the community" becomes more rewarding, and that I am glad to hear. In my opinion the first community that we are all responsible for is our family. And here comes my major point: I need help raising my kids. We are a double income family from necessity, to make ends meet. As school vacation days fluctuate and shifts run overtime here and there, I would love it if my parents could help pick up the slack. But I very rarely can. Between walking groups and self imposed "writing retreats", to sailing trips and spontaneous trips abroad, my parents are very rarely dependable. Since my daughter was born I have wished for one day a week I could count on to have Grandma or Grandpa ( wow was it hard for them to take on those names!) around so I could just focus on laundry or run errands. But I cant. The major and exciting events that come with being Boomers, tend to take precedence. And they wonder why they are not closer with their grandchildren...

Cont..
01:31 PM on 10/12/2011
Cont...from 1

They developed a family base that helped you move out and forward, and I am sure they established close bonds with their grandchildren over time. I still have a very close relationship with my surviving grandparents, and feel closer to them in some ways than my own "young" and "hip" parents.

Understandably, your generation is freaking out a little about the prospect of decrepitude and the eventual embrace of death. I am sure I will be too. But this does not mean losing all dignity. There is grace, youth, honor and enlightenment to be found within yourself. You do not have to run around like a frantic (pregnant - to use your interestingly metaphor) chicken making sure you have uncovered all things laying wait under all rocks. Your parents "didn't question what their future held", and I am impressed with the nobility of that sentiment. They calmly gave of themselves, and your mother is turning 90? Sounds like there is something that resonates deeply about her choices...

cont...
01:30 PM on 10/12/2011
Dear Rita and all of the other Boomers that read this article and sympathized,

I am your metaphorical daughter or son or whatever, that is mid to late 30's, and I along with so many of my generation are frustrated with an attitude of yours; the "Boomers". What am I in, the X Generation? Not quite sure what that means.

I hear in your article the very attitude my parents and those of my friends take...There is so much to do! Why "squander" what little time we may have left? This me,me,me mantra was great when it was the 60's and 70's and you helped snap America out of an unjust war. You as a generation did not want to simply be fodder for a corrupt agenda, and I say good for you and thanks! But as that attitude aged and finds itself over fifty, it starts to sound, with all due respect, a little peevish, and a lot selfish.

Your parents came from "The Great Generation", and it was named justly so. They fought a noble war and did the right thing. Then they raised their kids with some measure of prosperity, and were available with open arms as their children needed help raising theirs. If you think that helping raise several children over a few decades is "winding down", then I question how much you remember about raising small children. Think back..think waaay back.

Cont....
03:27 PM on 10/10/2011
It is surprising it has taken so long for a major internet publisher to recognize there is a market for the 50+ population and their interests.

I hope there is an ongoing success and a spreading attention to this market.

We have been developing a specialized portal to focus on the 50+ market, www.myseniorportal.com and I had thought we were alone in the world of addressing the importance of this group of internet users and users to be.

Keep up the good work.
11:33 PM on 10/09/2011
Mixed feelings on this; Being born in '39 I have mixed feeling about the boomers.
It seems like "if the boomers don't want it you can't get it".
Many times I have wanted something, tried to do something etc, only to be told can't do it.
5-10 years later , it's available because the boomers want it.

I have found sites catering to seniors are catering to boomers, and content free.
Maybe this will be different , it would be nice if it were.
09:13 PM on 10/09/2011
I am stillrelatively young, we are lucky..live in mty mom's home..low rent..good food..my husband Thank God has a good job..we will be working well past 65 to 70 judging by the way things are going. HOWEVER!...my main gripe is people who overspend and live in dreamworlds! we do not go out to eat every nite/every weekend like our friends..we do not buy luxury gadgets..last vacation was 1994..no cell phone..no health club membership..do my own hair/nails/cleaning/pressing..please folks! live below your means..ps we do not have parties, but extra christmas gifts for distant cold relatives..people really go overboard on these things even in their 50's/60's and put themselves in a very bad financial situation..
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girl4progress
I Wanna Rinse That Reince Right Outa My Hair
07:27 PM on 10/09/2011
Wow, Rita, you go-go-go girl! Your reality is not most.

I've got another year to go to 50, and we just live week to week. Lost our home, no pension, no savings (spent that trying to save our home and on my last surgery), pay $600/mo for health insurance that doesn't cover one thin dime until we reach an annual $8,000 deductible (which we don't have), a bright 14 year old son with no college savings (spent that trying to save our home). My business dried up after 2008, my husband was forced to take $25,000 salary cut in 2008. We own two cars, 11 and 13 years old, and that's about it.

So, you celebrate your 50's, Rita, embrace them!! I, in the mean time, will continue having the recurring nightmare with Paul Ryan making sure that when I reach the age, I will still not have the health care I need through Medicare for my rare bone disease, with conservatives screaming next to my bed "Let her die!"

For all of the "compassionate conservatives" who will jump up and down and tell me it's my fault: I went to college with a 4.0, we both worked all of our lives, we played the game, we didn't run up debt.
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BBinMT
Is this a 5 minute argument or the full half hour?
10:33 PM on 10/09/2011
Sounds like you and your family have been through alot, girl. I'm about your age, and so far, we've been lucky. I sincerely hope things get better for you. And you're right, if Paul Ryan falls off the face of the earth tomorrow, your road to recovery just sped up a bit.
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dewh
Driving Miss Crazy
09:10 AM on 10/10/2011
Very kind and decent post and my sentiment exactly. Nice to know there are still people like you out there.
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dewh
Driving Miss Crazy
09:13 AM on 10/10/2011
Things certainly aren't what they were when our parents were in their fifties, are they? I'm sorry you have been through all of this, it seems that we were following the rules and the game was changed on us, doesn't it.
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WarrenPease
Your interests are special, too.
06:13 PM on 10/09/2011
O/T -- ATTN John LENNON fans -- Today, October 9th, would have been John Lennon's 71st birthday. Let's make IMAGINE the most viewed video on YouTube!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-b7qaSxuZUg

Plea
09:05 PM on 10/09/2011
YEAH WARREN...NO DOUBT MANY PEOPLE OVER THE AGE OF 55 WOULD HAVE LOVED TO HAVE THE INCOME THAT LENNON..JAGGER OR ELTON JOHN HAVE..PLEASE STICK TO THE PERTINENT SUBJECT!!
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WarrenPease
Your interests are special, too.
06:12 PM on 10/09/2011
I am over 50 and my children will not be out of the house for at least 10 years and I am not complaining -- not at all. My wife and I are very satisfied in our careers and we take on life's challenges as they come.
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CollectiveNotIndividual
05:56 PM on 10/09/2011
If you are a 50 year old government empolyee....say a prison guard here in the state of California....then you just retired with a $130,000 per year pension, a pension COLA, and medical insurance. If you are a 50 year old private sector employee then you have to work 17 more years...and then at age 67 you will collect about $12,000 per year in social security.
12:54 PM on 10/09/2011
off topic: something weird has been happening when i try to us google lately... every search is being redirected to hosted links, even when i cut and pasted addresses and put them in the address box. its been happening for almost a week now...any ideas?
01:53 PM on 10/09/2011
You have a virus.I had to scrub my computer. Bit of a pain in the *** Good luck.
This user has chosen to opt out of the Badges program
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05:29 PM on 10/09/2011
I've had that problem. Looking around the Interweb, the only reliable solution seems to be to re-install the operating system.

However, I found it to be a problem on my system only with Google Chrome and Internet Explorer browsers.

I now use the Opera browser, and this doesn't seem to be affected.
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newleaf
~ Turn over a new leaf ~
11:55 AM on 10/09/2011
I imagine if you're not stuck in the daily grind of a 7:30 am to 6:00 pm job, followed by trying to feed your family, do all the clean-up, it probably is easy to be so enthusiastic. Perhaps Rita works 10+ hour days and single-handedly does every household chore, but I doubt it. And having millions in the bank is a great stress reliever. For me, I go into the Rite-Aid and they have these two elderly ladies on checkout, and it breaks my heart for them. They are always so nice, and God bless Rite-Aid for hiring them, but you can tell it's a physical strain for these poor ladies. They look like they're doing it so they can eat, not for the go-go-do-do excitement of it.
01:56 PM on 10/09/2011
Inequity stinks but I have been proudest of others and myself when we have dealt with deprivation well. That defines you more than how you deal with the good times.
Also, even when life is all peaches and cream... mortality lurks.
And time and unforeseen occurrence befall us all.
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crom14
11:06 AM on 10/09/2011
It really is a wonderful time in life. As a woman to finally be free of any insecurity, into menopause, children raised, loving life.... all worth the work of the past years have created a warm sense of calm. Now..... if I could just find a pair of jeans that were 100% cotton (minus the stretch, lycra or spandex) I will be complete. These jeans do not work for a middle age ex hippie. I look silly pulling up my jeans.
Attention Levi Jeans..... bring back 100% jeans. Oh, I forgot to add, it is impossible in my 50's to keep my mouth shut!!!!!
11:41 AM on 10/09/2011
Sounds to me like you should just keep clean and be neat.
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crom14
01:57 PM on 10/09/2011
Huh????
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crom14
07:47 AM on 10/12/2011
I am thin, I assume you think middle age means "old". Ha! Age is not a issue in life. Wisdom comes, and grace. Being rude is not nice.
09:16 PM on 10/09/2011
lose some weight...tight cotton jeans will create a muffintop!! give others advice sparingly also..ps remember spandex lycra is a right...not a privalege!!
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crom14
07:49 AM on 10/12/2011
100% cotton stay in place. I do not have a muffin top.... I work out and am in tip top shape, I just hate spandex and lycra. I do not need to lose weight. Be nice.