Def Party Time! Let's Make a GOP Hip-Hop Video

Warning: The following material requires an entry-level familiarity with pop culture terminology and references of the 1980s and 1990s.

Michael Steele already said that Obama's stimulus plan is full of "bling bling." But did he really just say that he's going to bring the GOP to "hip hop settings" - and that it will be "off the hook"?

Oh, no, he didn't!

Oh, yes, he did!

I mean, "off the hook"? "Off the hook"? That expression is twenty-five years old! Michael Steele may think he's the new, youthful face of Republicanism, but he's over fifty and it's showing. His hipness, such as it is, is like Robert de Niro in Awakenings. It just woke up and realized how long it's been in a coma.

I guess Ronald Reagan isn't the only thing Republicans miss from the eighties. Apparently they also miss "Ice Ice Baby" and other def and fresh innovations of the time. Michael Steele really has changed the party. Until now, Republicans thought "urban contemporary" was the furniture style the decorator used for the rumpus room.

"Bling bling" was bad enough. Not only is the reference slightly offensive, but people have long since switched to the use of the single word "bling." And as for "off the hook," who said that last: Kid or Play? Please, Michael Steele's hipness -- put down the ouija board, say goodbye to Robin Williams, and go back to sleep.

Fat (or should I say "phat") chance that will happen. We all know that Michael Steele has the job of running a party with no solutions to offer, and the best idea he's had so far is to appropriate this lingo.

Bust a move.

But maybe we're being too hasty. Maybe he can make this retro-80's thing work for him -- with, you know, a little help from his friends. First he'll need to take some "rap lessons." (I hear Joaquin Phoenix is available.) Then he could put a little act of his own together: "The Fresh Prince of the Beltway, with Fatcat Cash and the Wheels of Steele."

They could get Rush Limbaugh to be a Human Beat Box, a wall of fleshy sound. Then they could make a video, MTV-style, with spray painting and graffiti that says "Adults Keep Out" or "No Taxes for the Rich!" In fact, as an act of across-the-aisle generosity, I'll write the lyrics. Ready? Okay, then! I'm going to call up Michael Steele and read him his new hit. I've appropriated a musical backing that won't make men in their fifties uncomfortable - "Parents Just Don't Understand" by DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince. Check it:

Democrats Just Don't Understand

You know the grownups are in charge now and they're always the same
But Republicans are down -- sure, we made our mistakes
But we're telling our homies all throughout the land
The problem is that Democrats just don't understand

Like I remember one term the president was trippin'
We were all deregulatin' so the markets were flippin'
There was Bush, and Cheney, and Don, and Condoleezza
Givin' away tax billions like we're sending out for pizza

And fightin' some war we didn't need to be fightin'
So those liberals gotta act all rude an' uptight
Torture some guys and every body holla'
What about me? I had to wear all that starch in my collar

Step off, Harry Reid!
Step off, Ms. Pelosi!
We're legit and we're scarier than Bela Lugosi!

Pay attention, here's the thick of the plot
We lost by so much it still can amaze us
And now sucka Democrats are tryin' to faze us
But we got some ill s**t left so we're not too bitter
In fact I'm down with my B-boy here, Senator Vitter

(cut to Sen. Vitter and Mitch McConnell working the turntables)

We know that people out there need so much help
When it comes to your problems, this party is def
We're 2 tough 2 fail so we're gonna survive
"Just block all progress," that's how we'll stay alive
(Ah! ah! ah! ah! stayin' alive)

I ran for this job, told the Party don't panic
I'll just use some street talk on the Blacks and Hispanics
Sure they're the ones that have been beat down the worst of 'em
But once they hear me they'll forget we're a curse to them -

They'll understand we just made a mistake
And Democrats are boring! while we're funky and fake
So to all of you ethnics across the land
Take it from me, Democrats just don't understand

So, Mr. Steele - what do you think?

Mr. Steele? Mr. Steele?

There's nobody there. I guess he hung up on me. His phone is dead.

Or maybe it's just off the hook ...

Comments

[jaydeedub]

Michael Steele thinks he's all that and a bag of chips.

[ctman47]

Hip Hop for the GOP!!
The only one who could do that is Vanilla Ice

[flatus]

"They could get Rush Limbaugh to be a Human Beat Box, a wall of fleshy sound'

hahaha!

[Mas]

IMO Mr. Steele is a survivalist of the worst kind. If he was confronted by a crowd who objected to a group of people and he was with them, he would be the type to state "I'm not one of them, I'm not like them, honest, I'm more like you."

Most of his public life he has rejected any association with the AA community. In his accecptance speech as RNC Chair, he comments were, "Me and my family understand­s......(in regards to not distriibution of wealth). " Now he want to copy one of the AA community trade mark and incorporate that torevamp an image for his benefit.

[BillMelater]

Steele is merely planning a different marketing scheme designed to dupe voters. In total, it is nothing new. The Republicans have been doing this junk all along. They are merely redirecting their marketing focus. This will not change the Anti-American Republican slant toward the rich. So don't be deceived by any of it.

[ohioan73]

LMAO! I'm not saying 50 year olds can't be hip-hop heads because actually, they were in their 20s at the dawn of hip-hop and enjoyed disco which eventually segued into hip-hop, but Steele? He so obviously was not rockin' "The Message" on his boom box back in the day. That dude is "You'll Never Find (Another Love Like Mine)" by Lou Rawls all day long.

[CarlitoBrilliante]

So Michael Steele is reaching out to Hip Hop and "one armed midgets"? I happen to have the perfect song for him, to bring rap fans to the G.O.P. tent. The name of the song (coincidentally), is "The G.O.P."...­..... but I don't think it's exactly what Mr. Steele had in mind. If it does bring young African-Americans and Hispanics to their tent, it's probably just to tear it down!

Carlito Brilliante

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=407680586

[4akinderworld]

FAVORITED!!!!! OMG.

[ohioan73]

"So you thought you could just sneak outta here like the last 8 years never happened, huh?"

That first line just pulled me in. Bookmarked and favorited!

[lovable]

u will never get head bigot rush to go along with thsi idea. maybe if steele said confedrate flag music with the white robe he will approve that ha ha ha

[dadw5boys]

New Republican is sharing his perferred beauty treatments.

Really got that Hip Hop GOP thing going now.

[ShinjiIkari]

This raises a really scary question: does the GOP's decision to go hippity-hoppity mean they don't recognize real rhetoric and oratory when it's coming out of the mouth of President Obama, or just that they know there's nobody in the dugout that can even tell the truth with a straight face anymore, let alone come close to rhetoric and oratory?

[seenitall]

oh snap!!

[eva belle]

Oh! This rap is so the shizzo. You should try it out me nizzos.

[voting4BO]

Kieth O put it perfectly.­... the Notorious G.O.P.
Steele is a real joke. I think he has children that are young adults. If I said some uncool and corny stuff like he has...my young adult children would let me know how much of a fool I'm making of myself. But the more he embarrasses himself and the GOP, then its all good for us.

[cbat]

Notorious GOP, so funny. Steele is white man in black face. His sad use of slang is insulting and he should be ashamed of himself. Obama at least had enough sense to treat the Hip hop community with respect.

[neskow]

Ah, my father, he makes me proud. The only one bold enough to ask Steele "what's the-what's the-what's the scenario?"

[Haditup2here]

U down with GOP
Yeah you know me !!

The RNC, one decade late and a trillion dollar deficit short.

[cmeans29]

The Voters Remix:

U down with GOP
Hell no not me!