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Richard (RJ) Eskow

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F**k Gratitude! And Other Thanksgiving Pensées

Posted: 11/22/07 06:41 PM ET

I was struggling with some personal "demons" in the mid-1990s, so I turned to some like-minded people for help. One of my new friends, who was helping me through a particularly difficult evening, suggested I consider adopting a more positive outlook toward life. That's something I wasn't inclined to do at the time, so the suggestion wasn't well-received.

"Have you ever thought about gratitude?" my friend asked. My answer came reflexively. "Hey, you know what?" I said. "F**k gratitude!"

Like an old Irish cop, he said with a laugh: "So, it's gonna be like that, is it?" Well, yeah, I guess it is, I said sheepishly. Change comes harder for some of us than it does for others.

Thanksgiving is the holiday of gratitude, and some of us only learned the value of that emotion reluctantly. Gratitude is a healing force, a spiritual practice, a muscle that needs to be used over and over before it can be exercised naturally and gracefully.

Yeah, yeah. We get it. But then what? What do we do with all this gratitude once we've channeled it? Do we turn into Barney replicants and wander the landscape singing "I love you, you love me" until we meet the inevitable fate of all dinosaurs (purple or otherwise)?

That's where the really important work comes in, the old texts say. Gratitude is fine, but the received wisdom says it's not the endgame. It's supposed to make a person willing to be of service to others. In other words, it starts a process that only culminates when other people feel grateful - for you.

Instead, spiritual paths often lead people into a "persistent meditative state," a luxury of the wealthy few that often leaves them disinterested in helping the less fortunate.

The Religious Right, for its part, is busy trying to convince people that Thanksgiving - maybe even gratitude itself - is their own copyrighted concept. Jonathan Falwell, for example, wrote this to his followers the other day:

"Thanksgiving is the perfect time to understand the Judeo-Christian history of our nation. Our forefathers were not uneasy about openly thanking God for His blessings or beseeching Him in times of trouble. Our nation is deeply rooted in Christianity and candid expressions of faith.


"I urge readers across the nation to ensure that their children and grandchildren understand the Judeo-Christian heritage of our nation. There are many who wish to ignore and/or rewrite our history as our nation further embraces secularism."

And Newt Gingrich sent out an email entitled "A History of Thanksgiving" that included these words:
"This Thanksgiving, it's time to ensure that every young American and every immigrant who would become a new citizen learn about the historic origins and meaning of Thanksgiving ... Historically, Thanksgiving is about renewing the bond between Americans and their Creator. It's a time when we are reminded that our rights come from God and that we have responsibilities to God as free citizens ...Every state should adopt laws requiring the teaching of the real history and meaning of Thanksgiving in the schools."
Can a Fox News special about "The War on Thanksgiving" be far behind?


Both Rev. Falwell and Mr. Gingrich want Americans to get an education in Thanksgiving theology, but here's a fact neither of them want in the curriculum: Many of the Founders were Deists. That means they were dedicated to the Enlightenment principles of reason and natural rights, and skeptical about the idea of a "micro-manager" God. They didn't believe in a rule-making deity who intervenes directly in human affairs.

The Founders often used religious language to drum up votes at election time, just like today's politicians. Adams played the "faith card" relentlessly against Jefferson in two elections, despite having Deist beliefs himself. Jefferson denied the charges, but wrote the miracle-redacted "Jefferson Bible" years later. Many of the founders used the word "God" the way Spinoza used it, as a placeholder for the mysterious and beautiful principle that drives the universe and its laws.

In matters of civics, too, the Founding Fathers broke with tradition and "embraced secularism" when they demanded freedom of thought and religion. And while those freedoms may be under siege, the fact that they're still with us calls for some big-time gratitude. Not the kind that leads to passive contentment, but the other kind - the kind that leads to doing as well as being.

My days of saying "f**k gratitude" are over. For one thing, I'm trying to clean up my language. This isn't the Senate floor, after all, and I'm not Dick Cheney. And some of us have come to understand that gratitude has its place.

Here's a guess where gratitude's rightful place might be found: right before "action."

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01:23 PM on 11/23/2007
"while those freedoms may be under siege, the fact that they're still with us calls for some big-time gratitude. Not the kind that leads to passive contentment, but the other kind - the kind that leads to doing"

There you go. All well said, RJ. Thanks.
Check out the prolific action man and founding father Ben Franklin's Inventory sometime.
12:51 PM on 11/23/2007
Someone, please, enlighten me on the new aspects of Thanksgiving. My turn for Thanksgiving was one day BEFORE thanksgiving this year. We have the very common married, divorced, remarried, and, ad infinitem family set-up. I had a great time. Looked at the family I had created. First there was just me, and now there are...X. It has not been easy, and it has taken eliminating my own feelings and desires to make it all work. The last few years I am handed a...christmasbasket....on Thanksgiving. I do not do christmas, and getting a basket on Thanksgiving befuddles me even more. I am not prepared for it, and feel left standing with my mouth full of loose teeth, and having nothing to reciprocate. I have also been too busy preparing the special onion rolls and other goodies for the meal. Is this a new and accepted custom? And then, now starting even on the thanksgiving day itself, everyone runs out to buy junk to celebrate the birth of a jewish Rabbi, Jesus, and to decorate a pine tree! What is the hurry? I think Jesus did say something about ..they adore a tree .. or something of that nature, and he did not approve of it. Or, was that in the old testament? My son has been *daten* and is now engaged, after seven years. I have yet to meet any of her relatives, or to have any kind of conversation with her. For my thanksgiving, or was it christmas, gift I received a booklet, which she wants returned back to her. I have to fill out *pertinent* questions, such as what was your mother's maiden name, etc. If anyone gets that in hand, that person will also have my ID in hand. I looked at it, and thought, *as soon as I lose my mind*, guzpah!! Or, maybe I am just a suspicious old jew woman? Is it time I meet her parents? I do not even know where they live! I want to be properly thankful ;)!
12:36 PM on 11/23/2007
Wonderful contribution by Eskow. Makes us all think! Thanksgiving is a once a year event. If I remember correctly, the Indians were invited! Just a few days ago there was a jewish blog, on an Israeli website, also about thanksgiving, and it went on and on, how we do not celebrate anything of the gentiles, that we give thanks every day, and so on. That is true, of course. However, even in judaism there are not so few who do not appear to remember, or even ever have known, that Avraham, in that guise, and later as Abraham, had his tent open on four sides, and that he ran out meeting and greeting each stanger and inviting him in. That is how Angels were met with lessons and messages from the Creator. Rationality is of the utmost importance, and it is at the core of how the universe, and certainly this earth, works. A buddhist monk, Thich Nhat Hahn says: "peace is every step". Being godly, and religious, is also in every step. It is in the action in daily life. In judaism that is both stylized and in action. We must be careful that tradition does not take over and supercede rationality and lesson. If it does, it becomes idolatry. We must internalize the lessons sothat they become part of us. If god is in us, as the christians say, then, in the least, our thoughts and actions reflect that. Charity is not handing people our leftovers. It is sharing our means and our wealth. It is teaching to fish. It is realizing, that, there, but by the grace of god, go I. It, certainly, is not greed is good. Greed is one of the deadly sins. Deadly sins are not what keep us out of heaven, it is what derails our world and how it operates.
11:59 AM on 11/23/2007
Ain't is grand to live in a land ruled by myth? You see, soldiers don't 'die', they get 'reborn' in heaven. Their families will see them again in a better place. THAT is how you get fools to travel halfway around the globe and die for your personal enrichment. Bottom line: God is Kaiser Soeze.
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uglicoyote
Progressive humanist
11:50 AM on 11/23/2007
The true First Thanksgiving held by Europeans was probably held in Florida in 1564 or 1565. There's some documentation for this. New Mexico also claims the "First Thanksgiving" but in the 1590's so Florida may have the better claim. In any case, Spanish was the language spoken over Thanksgiving dinner, not English. The Loudobbsians may not like that fact but there it is. Of course,aboriginal Americans had been thanking their deities for centuries but I guess they don't count. The notion that that gathering in 1621 Massachusetts was a religious celebration is unlikely. The Puritans would not tie a feast to any religious celebration nor would they have held a religious ceremony in the presence of "savages."
11:29 AM on 11/23/2007
Hi RJ, please consider this: Gratitude is a key aspect of spirituality, which is the polar opposite of religion; a live-enhancing thing that is mutually exclusive from religion. And therefore gratitide is a very good thing; a muscle well worth exercising, using your apt metaphor.

There are plenty of ways to do that. For openers, I'd urge you to check out a great book "Seasons of Grace: the Life-Giving Practive of Gratitude" by Jones and O'Neil (I'm too lazy to look up their full names).

For me, Buddhist practice helps me experience gratitude and a positive sprituality, and mentally deal with the gaggles of mindless religiouse conservatives, many of whom believe GWB is President because it is the will of Jesus Christ.

By the way, Gingrich and Falwell's offspring are writing for those minnions who are already drinking the religious right kool-aid. Thanksgiving has proven refreshingly free of the collective "Put Christ back into Christmas" / "Jesus is the Reason for the Season" mental illness will permeate the media from now until Dec. 25.

So, give yourself a great present this Winter Soltice ;-) and check out that "Seasons of Grace" book, and if you dare, "Mindfulness in Plain English" by Bhante Gunaratana. You'll be glad you did!!
guajiro
posted 5 minutes ago
10:40 AM on 11/23/2007
Thank you RJ, very much, for your concept of what Thanksgiving should mean. I instinctively knew these american holidays weren't about me or my peoples since very young. Today, america is a more mixed people makeup and we no longer have to accept the dominant (anglo-saxon)culture's version of the history behind our celebrations, as you say. Re-defining thanksgiving to mean actual, real, gratitude, and then expressing it in the form of action, positive action, is, should I say, the kind of activism every neighborhood should have. Awhile back I joined an Indian organization in hopes of contributing back to a community often overlooked. Here's the link.

http://www.indnslist.org/
10:05 AM on 11/23/2007
I try really hard to understand the connection between progressive political thinking and the need to attack people of faith and mock organized religion. The quotes from Falwell and Newt may be a little soppy, but they do not read like fuel for any kind of fire. All RJ's post accomplishes is bringing all the faith- haters out of the wordwork once again. Rejecting people of faith only helps assure that next year they will walk into the voting booth and vote the straight Republican ticket from top to bottom. I get the impression that many people "on the left" want it that way. Why?
10:04 AM on 11/23/2007
Well if Newt had anything to do with the reading list about Thanksgiving in public schools I bet he'd burn down abortion clinics to keep anything written by Howard Zinn or Noam Chomsky out of the ciriculum.
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newunderground
Freelance social critic
09:43 AM on 11/23/2007
I was at my relatives over the weekende . They had the apostle's creed on the refrigerator. I was thinking, how can antbody believe that super natural horseshit. I can't ssupend rationality. Kinda wish I could live in fantasy land. I didn't say anyting, though. Hail Zuess.
08:18 AM on 11/23/2007
Dear Brother RJ,

Thanks for sharing, does not get any better than that. Seems once again we are in the same stream of consciousness with regard to our beloved Republic. (and that "stinking thinking" part too) :) Agape.
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Dave24
Without God, life is everything.
03:10 AM on 11/23/2007
Secularism allows all people to believe in any version of "God" or no God while at the same time providing the freedom to be thankful for whatever they wish. Limiting this within a Christian context is disgusting; anyone who self-righteously promotes such a view should be ashamed considering secularism is the reason why they can believe freely. Be thankful for that, Christians.
02:11 AM on 11/23/2007
"In matters of civics, too, the Founding Fathers broke with tradition and 'embraced secularism' when they demanded freedom of thought and religion."

No, they embraced neutrality. As a result, our nation is neither secular nor religious. In spite of the endless claims to the contrary.
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OtayPanky
You're welcome
01:42 AM on 11/23/2007
What the deal with asterisks when blogging the word FUCK?

Is it some sort of attempt at combining gentility with good ol' sewer mouth?

If so, I don't think it's working.

In fact, it's f**ckin' ridiculous, otay?
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Bongborg
Assimilated by the bong long
01:25 AM on 11/23/2007
Actually, the first Thanksgiving celebration actually proclaimed in America by a "Christian" government was a much different kind of celebration.
In 1637 near present day Groton, Connecticut, over 700 men, women and children of the Pequot Tribe had gathered for their annual Green Corn Festival which is our Thanksgiving celebration. In the predawn hours the sleeping Indians were surrounded by English and Dutch mercenaries who ordered them to come outside. Those who came out were shot or clubbed to death while the terrified women and children who huddled inside the longhouse were burned alive. The next day the governor of the Massachusetts Bay Colony declared "A Day Of Thanksgiving" because 700 unarmed men, women and children had been murdered.
To hell with what the preachers think we should be thankful for, and to hell with them too.