Rob Kutner

It's the year 2049, and good news! The United States of Chinamerica has finally gotten rid of its debt.

How did we do it? With a solution so simple, so elegant, it eluded the best minds of our and previous generations, until its genius was irresistible:

We shot it...

Believe it or not, Obama has done it yet again.

The shoulder pads in outgoing Supreme Court Justice John Paul Stevens' robe haven't even cooled yet, but the President has already managed to find a replacement nominee with even more divisive and liberal credentials:

Jesus H. Christ.

Okay, okay, we get it: Sweeping overhaul, landmark legislation, "bigger than JesusCare Reform," etc. Sure, covering 30 million previously uninsured Americans will help alleviate immeasurable suffering. But has anyone stopped for just a moment to consider those who now stand to suffer even more?

Emergency Rooms

For...

"A far-right faction of the Texas State Board of Education succeeded Friday in injecting conservative ideals into social studies, history and economics lessons that will be taught to millions of students for the next decade."
-Associated Press, March 12, 2010

Once again, the eyes of the nation are fixed...

My new book, Apocalypse How, is about how the world is about to end... and why we should be psyched! It's the first-ever work of apocalyptic literature that "accentuates the positive" -- and teaches you how to not just survive, but thrive. As with any exciting new endeavor, however, the...

My new book, Apocalypse How, is about how the world is about to end... and why we should be psyched! It's the first-ever work of apocalyptic literature that "accentuates the positive" -- and teaches you how to not just survive, but thrive. As with any exciting new endeavor, however, the...

My new book, Apocalypse How, is about how the world is about to end... and why we should be psyched! It's the first-ever work of apocalyptic literature that "accentuates the positive" -- and teaches you how to not just survive, but thrive. As with any exciting new endeavor, however, the...

My new book, Apocalypse How, is about how the world is about to end... and why we should be psyched! It's the first-ever work of apocalyptic literature that "accentuates the positive" -- and teaches you how to not just survive, but thrive. As with any exciting new endeavor, however, the...

My new book, Apocalypse How, is about how the world is about to end... and why we should be psyched! It's the first-ever work of apocalyptic literature that "accentuates the positive" -- and teaches you how to not just survive, but thrive. As with any exciting new endeavor, however, the...

My new book, Apocalypse How, is about how the world is about to end... and why we should be psyched! It's the first-ever work of apocalyptic literature that "accentuates the positive" -- and teaches you how to not just survive, but thrive. As with any exciting new endeavor, however, the...

Gas prices have hit record highs, and realistic solutions are in short supply. (President Bush raising gas taxes? People trading in their Escalades for corn-powered Civics? Good luck.) So it falls to us, the citizen-guzzlers, to generate the bold, creative, 'out-of-the-tank' ideas we'll need to get through this crisis. Here...

To our friends in Iraq:

We understand that you are having some trouble reaching agreement on a constitution. Of course, you are more than welcome to model your national charter on ours. But seeing as how far behind schedule you are, here are a few items from our Bill of...