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Obama's Unacceptable Replacement for Justice Stevens: Jesus Christ (esq.)

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Believe it or not, Obama has done it yet again.

The shoulder pads in outgoing Supreme Court Justice John Paul Stevens' robe haven't even cooled yet, but the President has already managed to find a replacement nominee with even more divisive and liberal credentials:

Jesus H. Christ.

No, I didn't just stub my toe. I mean the one and only. God Jr.

Look, we grudgingly allowed Sonia Sotomayor onto the Court, to satisfy the Hispanic community (or "Technically-Documented-Americans"), and see what that got us? A centrist who asks a lot of questions of solicitors (hey, who's supposed to be the "solicitor" here anyway?). Now the "White" House is trying to change the Court's color palette again with this unmistakably Middle Eastern-looking fellow.

Mr. President, despite its perky youthful look, the Supreme Court is not a Benetton ad!

More to the point, consider Jesus Christ's fitness as a candidate. According to multiple witnesses who lived hundreds of years after him, He has no record of employment, and no relevant American judical experience.

But what He does have is a simply appalling trail of legal writings on some of the critical issues likely to come before the Court. To wit:

Constitutional Originalism

"Think not that I am come to destroy the Law...I am not come to destroy, but to fulfill." (Matthew 5:17)

Excuse us, to fulfill? For a paragon of humility, it takes a lot of gall to insinuate that anything in the Founding Fathers' text was left unfulfilled.

This reeks of activism of the kind not seen since "Black People" were rendered legally equal to "People." Speaking of which...

Civil Rights

"There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female." (Galatians 3:28)

While we'll concede it can be hard to tell Jews and Greeks apart, the simple fact is, category distinctions are a critical part of jurisprudence. We all want impartiality from a Justice, but there is such a thing as being too impartial. Also, seriously, "no male nor female?" If this isn't a coded message about a transgender agenda (or "trans-genda"), I don't know what is.

Property Rights

"Blessed are the poor...meek... who hunger and thirst, yadda yadda yadda." (Mattthew 5:3-10, yaddas mine)

Here we go again, with that "empathy" canard Obama referenced while nominating Sotomayor. Can we really afford a second Justice who, by His own Divinely transmitted admission, is clearly in the (no doubt filthy and booze-scented) pocket of Big Poverty?

Abortion

"And the dragon stood before the woman which was ready to be delivered, for to devour her child as soon as it was born." (Revelation 12:4)

Wake-up call, America! Not only does this Guy, by His own admission, advocate a fourth-trimester abortion, He wants it to be conducted by a dragon. Even the so-called "Pro-Choice" crowd wouldn't go so far as to cry, "Keep your hands - or claws - off my body."

2nd Amendment

"And unto him that smiteth thee on the one cheek offer also the other; and him that taketh away thy cloak forbid not to take thy coat also." (Luke 6:29)

Whoa whoa whoa, Mister. Over our cold dead cheeks.

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