Today's Sign of the Apocalypse: Teen Idolatry

05/25/2011 12:30 pm ET

My new book, Apocalypse How, is about how the world is about to end... and why we should be psyched! It's the first-ever work of apocalyptic literature that "accentuates the positive" -- and teaches you how to not just survive, but thrive. As with any exciting new endeavor, however, the key to thriving in a post-apocalyptic world is PREPARATION. In that spirit, I'll be alerting you whenever I spot a sign of our impending doom -- or should I say, your impending opportunity!

SIGN: Dreadlocked teen heartthrob contestant Jason Castro voted off "American Idol"

WHY THAT'S A SIGN: Despite the worst efforts of U.S. Administration after Administration, democracy has actually unseated a Castro.

WHAT TO EXPECT: An enraged army of hormonally raging teenage girls to seize control of the planet.

WHY THAT'S GREAT NEWS: If you're the parent of one, no more messy power struggles -- as long as you obey your new curfew!

HOW TO PREPARE: Use the bathroom a lot now, as you won't be able to set foot in one for the next nine years.

Daily Show writer Rob Kutner's Apocalypse How is available in stores May 12th, or online here: