A Very Good Dog Who Taught Me Some New Tricks.

Read more strike coverage on the Huffington Post's writers' strike page.

I have learned a few tricks from my exceptionally sweet-natured dog, Trip, who is a three-legged pit-lab-something mix.

He was given to me four years ago, when he was eight months old. I did not appreciate being given a three-legged dog, and resisted for a moment, but the actor Bradley Cooper, my pal and neighbor, insisted that this dog fit me. I fell in love -- but it was too late. Bradley took him back, but left him with me over a long weekend, because he could not take ALL his dogs (he has two others) to the beach hotel he was repairing too with his girlfriend at the time. By the time Bradley came back, I said I would keep him. Mr. Cooper let me twist in the wind for a sleepless night, (his intention all along), and then handed him over. We have been together since. Most nights.

When Mr. Cooper gave him to me, his name was Courage, which I rejected as too literal, and too dog-shelter-anointed. I was a basket case then, in shell-shock over the trifecta of the dissolution of a 12-year relationship, the awfulness of seeing my neighborhood covered in ash, horror and soldiers, and the death of my dad by a slow and nasty cancer which my brothers and mom and I got as close to as you can imagine. I had fled Tribeca for Venice, because it was fun there when I was a kid, was still horizontally oriented, and not as much part of Hollywood as the rest of the the dream-coast.

Trip (yeah, sorta short for tripod), has no idea that something is missing on him. He looks like he was borne out of a key party between a tame seal, a gentle fawn and a whacked-out kangaroo. He disarms all other dogs, no matter how aggressive. His tail seems like a propeller from a 1950s cartoon helicopter. He runs very fast for no reason, and flies between coasts, mildly drugged but thrilled, like someone from a Jackie Collins novel in first class when it used to be upstairs on Pan Am. His distinguishing feature is a profound and abiding emotionality. He gets sad, he gets happy, and most of the time those two things have to do with me and my Chekhovian moods. He tries to get me to go on walks, with great success. And on said walks, he often looks at me, and I swear to god, smiles like a goof, as if to say: "Hey, this is really really fun, Robbie, right, Robbie, huh!!?"

Trip has many friends, both human and canine. Actors love him in particular, because his level of adoration for them is off the charts. Perhaps he intuits my own.

Anyway, this is by way of sharing some of what he's taught me and what I am using from his lessons lately.

1. Be optimistic whenever possible. For instance, if your union is on strike, say, and you are looking to a terrible winter, try and share your toys. Like Trip does with the other dogs.

2. If something doesn't work, try another path. For instance, if the studio where you have a deal decides to force-majeur your smart-ass Huffingtonizing ass after you ask in print how the CEO of the corporation that owns said studio can look himself in the mirror, go find a new way to make stuff! Woof! Get your pals, and take your skills and your toys, and create a new market, a new forum, where you are your own boss (ie build your own on-line studio with the same wits that got a show on the air and in the top 20).

3. Be persistent. Don't stop staring and hinting and wagging until the person you want to play with pays attention, but if they don't want to play, take a nap or chew on a bone.
If they still don't want to play -- wasn't meant to be and - look! Someone fun this way comes!

4. No need to be aggressive, a priori. But if you are attacked, let the pitbull flag fly. Show your muscle, show your teeth, and that should work. If not, and the bad faith ultimatum delivering big media guy - I mean - bad dog - keeps going, well then, "cry havoc and let slip the dogs of..".etc.

5. Remember your friends forever, forever, forever, and let them know that you love them and need them.

6. You have many friends. This is good. A blessing. We need friends. We really do. We need a best friend. A best friend can be silent and interested, and even just check in and smile now and then. They do not need to be entertained, but you need to be there for them in a fight, for instance, with a cartel of giant media-monster giants who have the manners of wildcats, the bellicosity of Tasmanian devils, and the cunning of wolverines.

7: When sleeping with a human, sometimes it's fun to lick them in the middle of the night for no reason, or get really, really, really close, especially in winter.

8: Exercise will save you. You need to be fit to fight, love, jump, picket, run, and so on.

9: A dog will always be a dog. Nothing less and often a lot more. So too will humans,
occasionally. Even your opponent.

These are some of the lessons I have learned from my dog Trip, who is courageous indeed despite the name change. The other night we heard field mice in my wall and he did look a little alarmed, I will admit. but it was sort of a skit he was doing. He is actually really funny, which is the best lesson of all.

Read more strike coverage on the Huffington Post's writers' strike page.

Comments

[jackstraw005]

ahhhhhhhhhh so im not the only one? my girlfriend constantly decries my "emotional attachment" to my dog. she says things like you dont let her sleep on my side of the bed when im not here do you? in my mind i think well you are sleeping on her side of the bed. she picked me, i didnt pick her. she has taught me more about love than any person ever did.

[kjacobsmeyer]

Now if "Trip" was short for "Tripod," that would be even more hilarious. He is the cutest dog I have ever seen.

[wadenelson1]

I'm proud of both of you.

[yukonark]

Beautiful post, Jon. Thanks.

[afml]

We had a cat who had to have a front leg amputated because of cancer. She didn't notice either - I guess animals have no body image - but she would forget every so often while she was licking herself and fall over. Puzzled but not upset. Anyway, one of the few positive things of this strike has been reading your writings. Definitely uplifting, thanks. I hope you gather them and publish them in a book of essays.

[SimplyBilly]

Thank you Robin - wonderful advice. I think my dog Hobart would like Trip. Have a great holiday and best of luck with the show.

[lgillooly]

I have 3 dogs,3 cats and a conure. They teach me great lessons every day. The biggest one is they all can get along if you treat them with love, respect and make sure they all know they are part of the family. Funny,how species that by nature instinctively should not get along do,but the human species can't.

[Reichleay]

Jon,
Thank you for so clearly revealing the heart of the dog that resides within, and how to keep it beating when the higher orders of our more advanced brains collude to flat-line us. I feel a tendency to look for a one-armed wife of equal spirit.

[frustratedinohio]

The dog is stunning and I agree with the name change.

I've been hoping that some celebrity or say famous writer would take up the cause of stopping dog over-population, puppy mills, etc. Someone really talented could wipe the problem off the face of the planet.

Millions die needlessly every day.

[Thorn]

"I did not appreciate being given a three-legged dog" is easily the funniest line I've read here.

[coonce]

Trip looks like a dog that was on animal planet rescue one night. Was he ever on? It's amazing what dogs and cats can do when they have to. Makes you love them even more.

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