Robert Brenner

Welcome to TED. My name is Willard Mitt Romney IV. I'm the great grandson of the 45th President of the United States.

My great grandfather truly changed this country -- unlike his predecessor, what's his name. He wasn't even born in this country. My great grandfather took an old, outdated...

Before there was Avatar, before there was Star Wars, there was... Newt Gingrich!

My name is Newt Gingrich. I hail from the proud southern state of Georgia. I didn't actually fight on the side of the Confederacy, but I talk as if I did.

One night, after a particularly brutal...

Several months ago:

Newt Gingrich sat dejectedly in his study, surrounded by his hundreds of self-authored books and videotapes. His political campaign was dead; all of his expensive consultants had quit, claiming he was not a "serious" candidate. Now all he had to look forward to was long, lonely nights...

Space, the final frontier! To boldly go where no candidate has gone before! These are the voyages of the Republican party...

GUARDIAN: I am the Guardian of Forever! I protect all of eternity! Captain Kirk, Mr. Spock, I have summoned you here because I sense a great disruption in the...

The "Occupy" movement, whether displaying itself on Wall Street or in the streets of Oakland (which has, with unspeakable cowardice, embraced it) is anything but an exercise of our blessed First Amendment. "Occupy" is nothing but a pack of louts, thieves, and rapists, an unruly mob, fed by Woodstock-era nostalgia...

Video game developers receive such a rich assortment of incentives that even oil companies have questioned why the government should subsidize such a mature and profitable industry whose main contribution is to create amusing and sometimes antisocial entertainment. - theNew York Times.

AUDITOR: Name?

DOOM: Doom.

AUDITOR: First...

Hulk See Greed. Hulk Smash! -- the Wall Street Journal

"Don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry."

How many times have I said that? Over the years, I've become something of an expert on anger management, ever since my unfortunate gamma radiation incident.

(Pardon...

In the frozen wasteland of Antarctica, a political scientist makes a terrifying discovery:

ROMNEY: Hi, I'm Mitt Romney! When I was Governor of Massachusetts, one of the bluest states in the nation, I supported corporate taxes, abortion rights, gay rights, gun control, and universal health care. Now that I'm trying...

VENTURA: Good evening, fight fans! This is your host, Jesse "the Body" Ventura.

ROVE: And I'm your color commentator, Karl "the Brain" Rove.

VENTURA: We've got a real slobberknocker for you tonight! It's a three-way dance -- the Mighty Mitt Romney versus Rowdy Rick Perry versus Beautiful Michele Bachmann. The...

"We have to understand: barbarians need to be educated. They need to be disciplined. Just because someone feels it or thinks it doesn't mean that we are supposed to go down that road. " -- Marcus Bachmann

CONAN: I am Conan. I was born in the frozen wastelands of Cimmeria,...

In their secret underground headquarters, far beneath Capital Hill, the Super Congress gathers to deliberate:

FLASH: Sorry I'm late! That Beltway traffic is murder!

SUPERMAN: All right, let's come to order. As you know, Congress has abrogated its fiscal responsibilities, so it's up to us to identify $1.2 trillion in...

So many questions here. Bin Laden's compound wasn't hooked up to the internet and he apparently communicated with the outside world by saving files onto thumb drives and having couriers send e-mails and download new messages for him from a distant Internet cafe. Were those couriers also in charge of...

It was easier during World War II. You knew who your enemies were--Hitler, Tojo, the Red Skull. And you knew who your allies were, too--Churchill, Stalin, the Submariner. (Okay, maybe Stalin was a little dicey.) Nobody second-guessed the Invaders when we went on a commando raid behind enemy lines. If...

In the hollowed halls of Asgard, the home of the Norse gods:

ODIN: Thor, thou hast defied me for the last time! I banish thee to Midgard!

THOR: Midgard? No! The elements will play havoc with my naturally long, flowing, blond hair!

ODIN: To Hela with thy naturally long, flowing,...

As classical Muzak blasted from a loudspeaker, Kelvin Kwong got down on one knee and declared his love for his fiancée, Ashley Tse, in front of a rowdy media scrum. Their engagement party on Valentine's Day was the inaugural event of a new and aggressively promoted nuptial service at McDonald's...

Cairo. Midnight. The Presidential Palace.

Good evening, Mr. President.

Who are you? How did you get in here? And why are you on fire?

The name's Johnny Storm. I flew in through a skylight. And they don't call me the Human Torch for nothing.

A member of the Fantastic...

By day, Alan Greenspan is a mild-mannered Federal Reserve chairman. But by night, he is the masked vigilante known as the Greenspan Hornet. Aided by his faithful oriental chauffeur, Cato Institute, he fights a never-ending battle against government regulation and oversight.

Recently, though (circa October 2008), he has suffered a...

"Perhaps one day I will be lucky enough to read an attack on this book in a diatribe called The White Swan."--The Black Swan, Nassim Nicholas Taleb

My evil twin brother defines a "Black Swan" as an unpredictable, life changing event. The world, he says, is full of Black Swans...

[Midnight. The Oval Office. President Barack Obama is pouring over the budget figures. Suddenly, the Amazing Spider-Man swings in through the window.]

Spider-Man!

The one and only.

What are you doing here, wall crawler? I haven't seen you since we teamed up in Amazing Spider-Man #583.

I was in...

Warning: Political Violence. Reader Discretion Advised. Some Scenes May Be Too Intense for Young Children and Reactionaries.

My name is Rick. I'm a small-town sheriff. I live in Cynthiana, Kentucky. Or rather lived.

I woke up alone in a hospital. The staff had fled. My wife Lori and son Carl...