08/07/2014 11:32 am ET | Updated Oct 07, 2014

'I'm Right! You're Wrong!' -- 'No, I'm Right! You're Wrong!'


And so the battle begins.

I'm sure you have either been involved in this type of argument or have heard it going on out in the world. It just seems to be part of the human condition.

I have yet to find someone say, "I'm going to do or say this because I know it's the wrong thing to say or do!" Humans just don't think that way. We do what we think is correct. We do what we think is "right". Yup. So, that means all that crazy behavior we see out there in the world is being done the "right" way, at least by the person doing it. Isn't that wild? Everyone is doing what they think is "right."

Our decisions and actions are based on the information we have at any moment in time. If we have different information, our perspective changes and our decisions, as well as, our actions change accordingly. So, a position of "rightness" is actually just a point of view. By changing our point of view our position of "rightness" changes.

Holding a position of "rightness" suggests that we know all the information to be known about a particular subject or issue. I'm suggesting that we don't know. For example, we don't know what that person experienced two hours, two days or twenty years ago that created a reactive pattern of hurt or pleasure. They might not even remember the moment when they created the belief or feeling that's causing them to react to a certain situation in a certain way.

If you look out into the world there is so much we don't know about cultures that are different from our own. We don't even understand our own culture, our own country, our own family, or ourselves. How then can we then truly know or understand anything outside of our self? How then can we hold a position of "rightness?"

I work at not getting caught in the "right/wrong" game, because as soon as I do, everyone loses. I attempt to understand the other person's point of view. I try to see the world through their eyes. I look to see where and how they learned to see the world. When I can understand and grasp their "illogical" logic, I can understand why they're doing what they're doing. I might not believe that it's the most effective way to get the results they are attempting to get; however, their behavior is no longer "wrong" based on the information they have at that time.

Often the best solution is to agree that it's okay for us to disagree. We don't have to do everything the same way. If we did, life would be a little boring. So, because they think and do things differently than me, I get to grow and expand. I get to learn another way of looking at life. I can't say this is always easy. When I listen to the evening news I often get challenged about the various things I hear. If I'm having a strong emotional reaction, I'll challenge myself. Am I in a position of "rightness"? The answer always is "yes." Ugh! "I am right! Their wrong!" I then laugh realizing no one is listening to me. I realize that I'm at war inside my head. I'm certainly not creating any positive resolution out in the world. So I breath and look to see if there is any positive action I can do to change the situation. If there is any positive action, I'll take the action. If there isn't a positive action, I just lovingly encourage myself to expand out of my position of "rightness" and realize that it's all good. We're all learning and growing. We're all doing the best we can with the information we have. As we expand our consciousness, we will grow to another level of knowing, and then we will get to expand some more. It's call etcetera. Oh boy, more fun!