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Robert D. Stolorow

Robert D. Stolorow

Posted May 1, 2009 | 07:14 PM (EST)

Please, Media, Give Joe Biden Some Slack!


One dark morning some 18 years ago, I awakened to find my late wife lying dead across our bed, four weeks after her cancer had been diagnosed. It was a sudden, devastating loss for me, a trauma that shattered my world and from which I have never completely recovered. Its terrible legacy is a dread that pervades my existence--a terror of losing another loved one (my current wife, a child) from which I am never free.

Joe Biden is an example of what I have called a "sibling in the same darkness." His world, too, was shattered by traumatic loss--the tragic deaths of his wife and child in a car accident when he was just beginning as a newly elected senator.

Biden has been harshly criticized and publicly shamed in the media for his strong reaction to the danger of a swine flu pandemic. He is an emotional man, and it is inconceivable to me that his existence, too, would not be dominated by a dread of further losses and tragedies. And so, media, when he has an especially intense emotional reaction to the threat of a catastrophic, lethal pandemic, please give him a little slack. He is a man who knows first-hand the traumas inflicted by sudden deaths and losses.

 
 
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
TheIndependenceParty
Cranky yankee and a rehabilitated ex-Republican
10:06 AM on 05/02/2009
Thanks, Dr. Stolorow, for your words and the thoughts behind them. The world is impatient with what it sees as irrational fear, often because it will not acknowledge the basis of it, ... the experience that brought it to the fore.

Seven years ago I brought home the flu from the hospsital where I worked, a run of the mill variety. My 20 year old daughter caught it from me and we both contracted a secondary pneumonia. She died in her sleep a few weeks later, and I am here writing you.

It might seem irrational, or somehow unpatriotic for Biden to indicate his protective advice and concern to his family in public. I see it quite the other way. It shows that Joe is Human, and that he is made of the same stuff as you and I, and for many of the same reasons. I am supposed to visit Cancun with relatives next week, ... and I am inclined to follow Joe's advice, much as I would love to be with them.
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09:45 AM on 05/02/2009
The media has some nerve criticizing Biden for supposedly inviting hysteria over this flu when they have been screaming paranoid drivel at us from the moment the first case was confirmed.
06:36 AM on 05/02/2009
Joe Biden is so lovable and an old school straight shooter. His words reflect his feelings but don't determine other's choices. His candid directness is so refreshing.
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HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
4real
Don't drink the tea, it's poison
12:15 AM on 05/02/2009
I don't understand why the media would criticize him anyway when they were the ones trying to stir up the hysteria.
09:48 PM on 05/01/2009
Agreed. Thank you. The press is all too often extremely insensitive about such losses, including John Edwards' son. Biden is a decent man, and the press just can't leave him alone on anything, possibly because Obama is too much off limits.
09:05 PM on 05/01/2009
I've had similar thoughts since his 'advice' was first reported. While it is true that a VP must demonstrate extraordinary fortitude when dealing with crises, it may be that Biden simply could not separate himself from his tragic past, and thus, from the perceived dangers of this latest strain of virus.
08:36 PM on 05/01/2009
Thank you for writing this.
I lost two important people in my life within 3 months of eachother when I was 14. My Father died of cancer and my boyfriend died in a car accident. I understand as well, and have dealt with the same fears for over 20 years now as well. It really does completely alter the way you live, and how you perceive situations.
At least it gives one a tremendous appreciation for loved ones. Not a day goes by that I am not eternally thankful for those I love in my life. It also gives one greater compassion as well.