iPhone app iPad app Android phone app Android tablet app More

Featuring fresh takes and real-time analysis from HuffPost's signature lineup of contributors
Robert Frogge'

GET UPDATES FROM Robert Frogge'
 

Nessie Isn't a Plesiosaur

Posted: 03/23/2012 8:56 am

What if conclusive evidence surfaced that proved the monster of Loch Ness did exist... but it turned out to be a giant eel or fish instead of a plesiosaur? The simple truth is we would feel disappointed and cheated.



After being a lifelong fan of Nessie, I finally decided to stop overlooking the multitude of inconsistencies surrounding this enigma and consider the evidence. I concluded this creature, whatever it may be, is not a plesiosaur. I indeed felt cheated that my world contained one less mystery, but exhilarated that I had one more truth under my belt.

Stories of a monster inhabiting Loch Ness date back more than 1,500 years. None of them, however, described a long necked serpentine creature until the 1930s. In the beginning, Nessie was a murderous creature the locals called the Kelpie. It would shape shift into a beautiful horse that enticed passersby into riding on its back across the Scottish countryside, only to later plunge them into the loch and eat them.

In 1933, Mr. and Mrs. Mackay were driving along Loch Ness. Mrs. Mackay reported to a local reporter that she saw a large beast splashing around in the loch's center. The story instantly became headline news in the Inverness Courier and instigated the modern era of Loch Ness Monster sightings.

Then in 1934, Colonel Robert Wilson snapped the famous "Surgeon's Photo" of Nessie. It shows a small head and long neck rising from the water. The plesiosaur theory was born and dramatically shaped subsequent testimonies. Christian Spurling, a close friend of Wilson, admitted the photo was a hoax shortly before his death in 1993. Spurling had helped Wilson sculpt the figure which was attached to a toy submarine for the photo. But what if Spurling had lied about his role in perpetrating this hoax? Why should we take his word over Wilson? Maybe it was a legit plesiosaur portrait. Not likely. In 2006, Leslie Noe published an article in New Scientist titled "Why the Loch Ness Monster is No Plesiosaur." In this article Noe wrote "The osteology of the neck makes it absolutely certain that the plesiosaur could not lift its head up swan-like out of the water."

So, this whole plesiosaur angle was based on a confessed hoax and is not supported by science. Not looking good, my fellow Lochies. Let's review more evidence:


  • Plesiosaurs were probably cold-blooded creatures that lived in tropical waters. The average temperature of Loch Ness is only about 42 °F. Brrrrr!

  • Even if plesiosaurs had been warm-blooded, they would require more food than Loch Ness can supply. Notice I said "they". The loch's food supply includes salmon, sea trout, brown trout, pike, eel, char, lamprey, stickleback, sturgeon and flounder -- plenty of food to support an aquatic dinosaur. Here's the rub, science has demonstrated at least 30 plesiosaurs would be required to sustain a viable colony over time, and this is not enough grub for Nessie's extended family.
  • Plesiosaurs breathe air. If this relatively small lake had 30 plesiosaurs breaking its surface periodically for air, sightings would be commonplace for the tourists descending upon the loch daily.
  • Surely modern technology could somehow detect a platoon of elephant sized dinosaurs living in this diminutive ditch of a lake. In 2003 the BBC sponsored a search of the loch using 600 sonar beams and satellites. The result, of course, being they didn't even find one plesiosaur. (View larger map.)





Pretty convincing stuff, huh? For me, here's the smoking gun: Plesiosaurs went extinct 65 million years ago. We are talking 65,000 centuries! Loch Ness, however, was gouged into the ground only 10,000 years ago, during the last ice age. Is it possible Nessie inhabited this loch 64,990,000 years before it even existed?

It gets better. The entire region was buried under 4,000 feet of solid ice for the 20,000 years prior to Loch Ness' formation. How could 30 dinosaurs survive for 20,000 years under 4,000 feet of ice in a lake that didn't yet exist?? I can't even keep fish sticks from getting freezer burned between grocery trips (huh?).

If, after reading this blog, you slip into a depressive state because this quintessential lake monster myth is generally busted, I offer you hope in two words: sea monster. It has taken almost 100 years for science to effectively debunk plesiosaurs living in Loch Ness, which is 1 mile wide, 24 miles long and 800 feet deep. At this speed, it will take a thousand more years for the skeptics to debunk sea monsters. Earth's combined ocean surface area is 139 million square miles, with a maximum depth of 36,000 feet. And here's a final bonus for sticking with me throughout this windy blog: Scientists estimate that 230,000 ocean species are currently known, but the ultimate total could be up to 10 times that number. Happy hunting.

 
 
 
  • Comments
  • 37
  • Pending Comments
  • 0
  • View FAQ
Comments are closed for this entry
View All
Favorites
Recency  | 
Popularity
Page: 1 2  Next ›  Last »  (2 total)
photo
Redhunteur
If I damn yer POV will u turn the other cheek?
06:53 AM on 03/26/2012
That GD Nessie still owes me tree-fiddy.
photo
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
pragmaticalpaula
"all is impermanent."
01:31 AM on 03/26/2012
Well Nessie may be gone but I still have Cecil the Sea Sick Sea Monster. I loved Nessie, she was part of my childhood. Shame on you for shattering my belief!
09:12 PM on 03/25/2012
Many people say Nessie, whatever she is, may migrate to the Loch via the river that connects it to the North Sea. No way this is likely or even possible. If you follow this water way on Google Earth, you can clearly see it meanders through the heart of an urban area. At points it is only 20 feet across has many buildings and sidewalks next to it. You don't think giant migrating creatures would be seen? What's worse, the waterway even has what appears to be multiple dams. How does Nessie navigate this obstacle?
03:08 PM on 03/27/2012
WeirdTwistBlog--Yes, a giant creature would find it hard to get past the Bonnar Narrows at the mouth of the loch, or past one of the locks of the Caledonian Canal system. However, fish, eels (some reportedly quite large), and seals do "make the jump" with some regularity.
photo
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Arlene La Hera
Liberals defend liberty. Any questions?
09:53 AM on 03/25/2012
I am not saying Bigfoot does or does not exist and I think people who DO are presumptive and kind of full of themselves. I am with Anthony Hopkins who says "certainty is mans worst enemy." People who are CERTAIN make irreversible errors.

Existence of Big foot, like Nessie and UFO's would not be either surprising or impossible since we find people, creatures and things isolated from the rest of humanity and our awareness fairly regularly.

We do not notice or know everything. That I can believe.
If you were Bigfoot and you saw a truck, even from a distance, you would move farther into the uninhabited area.

I personally don't want them, nor much care if these mysterious legends exist or not.

They will be just one more wondrous, natural thing that man hunts down and destroys - instead of living harmoniously, cooperatively and successfully with it.
09:22 PM on 03/25/2012
Is it just me or are you a dead ringer for Farrah Fawcett?
photo
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Arlene La Hera
Liberals defend liberty. Any questions?
10:56 PM on 03/26/2012
Thanks but Farrah was one of a kind...and I remember Charlies Angels so ......:)
09:45 AM on 03/24/2012
65 million years are 650,000 centuries, not 65,000. I know, what is a factor of 10 between cryptozoology entusiasts?

(:-)

I agree with you 100 % about the possibility of discovering new organisms; this happens often! Very entertaining post!
09:25 PM on 03/25/2012
Thanks for the comment orp1964. I wish I could blame it on the HuffPost editors but it wasn't their fault. I only have my calculator to blame.
12:00 AM on 03/26/2012
Sorry about that; part of my job is to pick up things like that.... (:-)
03:09 PM on 03/23/2012
Eels, fish, and plesiosaurs are not the answer, and as Mr. Paul partially notes, have not been for years. Descriptions of the Loch Ness Monsters mention whiskers, eyebrows, manes, and movement up and down in the water. They are mammals, not fish or reptiles, which move side-to-side. The key is the structure of the spine. If Nessies exist, they probably will be found to be some form of elongated giant seals/walruses. It will also be confirmed that the hidden secret of the land sightings are evidence these mammals move back and found from Loch Ness to the sea that is a mere 6-7 miles away.

The Loch Ness Monsters may be legendary or legends, but they are hardly "myths" (created from human imagination), and thus your notion that the "myth has been busted" is faulty. But humorous.

Champs, Nessies, Sea Serpents, Ogopogos, Caddys, Manopogos, Igopogos, and a wide variety of other aquatic cryptids have, since earlier times, had much more to do with mammals than reptiles, of course.
photo
robadeaux
Your labels have expired....
06:35 PM on 03/23/2012
I'm not sure I read you right... legends are not created by the human imagination? Dude. Everything that is man made... everything, from legends to myths to the bridge I'm going to drive over in the car I'm going to drive, are creations of the human imagination. Everything.
09:39 PM on 03/25/2012
Hey, was that a giant elongated walrus that just walked across my farm?
photo
Hugatreetoday
Do or do not, there is no try.
03:03 PM on 03/23/2012
Crytozoology is something I wish I had studied in college. Fascinating stuff. I subscribe to the theory that there is no way to know exactly what is out there for certain, as the planet's life forms are far too diverse to come to that kind of conclusion. I believe there are many unknown creatures that traverse the planet. Are they plesiosaurs? Probably not but fascinating nonetheless.
photo
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
gneep
if it wasn't always the same, it'd be different
03:01 PM on 03/23/2012
I know Nessie, Nessie is a friend of mine.....she would not be impressed.
09:51 PM on 03/25/2012
Then can you please settle this once and for all and have her come forward.
photo
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
gneep
if it wasn't always the same, it'd be different
12:40 AM on 03/26/2012
She "Knows" what happens to people that are different
jhNY
Mercy.
02:56 PM on 03/23/2012
But if a plesiosaur could have been kept in a state of suspended animation for millions of years, its insides rejiggered by advanced scientific methods of a sort we mere humans can cannot even imagine so that it would require far less food than previously, then the space aliens who went to all this trouble could have easily dropped Nessie into her present habitat where she would flourish, and where, ever since, she has baffled science and bewildered millions, which would mean the whole thing is a cosmic joke, a sort of intergalactic prank. And as most pranksters are adolescents, I'll bet teenage space aliens have perpetrated the whole 'Loch Ness monster" business so as to hide in their invisible spacecraft and snigger derisively, yet inaudibly, at our pitifully predictable reactions.
09:55 PM on 03/25/2012
hmmm. you make a plausible point. But then why can't we use the ET technology we reverse engineered from the drunk teenage aliens that wrecked in Roswell in 1947 in order to detect Nessie?
jhNY
Mercy.
11:52 AM on 03/26/2012
Hidebound bureaucracy and government red tape would be my guess.
photo
erebus99
Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent
12:14 PM on 03/23/2012
My first response to Nessie and other such weirdness is refer it to Occam. Works every time.
Extraordinary claims... etc.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Robert Frano
‘Plausible Deniability’: NOT A FAMILY_VALUE!!
11:59 AM on 03/23/2012
The biggest concern I have with the 'nessie' fantasies/fantisizers is the fact that, by definition, NONE of the possible animals thus far considered to explain this situation reproduce by themselves, ('asexually').
If she actually existed, there would have to be 'two, or more' of Nessie.
09:57 PM on 03/25/2012
Are you, sir, suggesting that Nessie is a giant aquatic amoeba? Brilliant!
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Robert Frano
‘Plausible Deniability’: NOT A FAMILY_VALUE!!
07:27 PM on 03/27/2012
Re: "Are you, sir, suggesting that Nessie is a giant aquatic amoeba? Brilliant!" {WeirdTwistedBlog}

I was suggesting nothing of the sort…

As far as I’m aware, (…I freely concede I’m NOT any sort of ‘Nessie’ buff/believer; NOT in the slightest!), every animal type suggested, thus far, to account for the (alleged) sightings in Loch Ness / elsewhere has been an animal-type which requires a male/female or other ‘duel-animal’ reproduction arrangement.

…That issue alone strongly suggests this isn't / couldn’t be a (verifiable) ‘single animal’ situation.
While I’m open to a ‘Nessie’ / ‘whatever’ confirmation that conforms to what is currently well-known about large animal bio-reproduction issues, (in as much as the theoretical 'Nessie' is supposed to be a 'large complex animal' of some sort), a gigantic ‘single cell’ creature is also ruled out...

There are NO examples of single cell creatures, (other than in science fiction), that allow for a creature large enough to be seen without microscopes / sophisticated detection techniques. let alone be mistaken for a plesiosaur, etc.!

I further concede that there algae mats & so-called ‘red tides’, (for example), that amount to, in a certain sense, a large complex animal, but they are, (as far as I'm aware),considered to be animal-communities, NOT single animals, by the professional scientific community!
photo
darquelourd
You Get What You Play For
11:51 AM on 03/23/2012
Thanks for filling me in on what a quick Google search would have done!
10:07 PM on 03/25/2012
but Google has indexed everything everybody has ever written on the Web. Does that mean nobody should ever post a blog again. And, if nobody ever wrote content for the Web, Google wouldn't have anything to index.
photo
darquelourd
You Get What You Play For
12:18 PM on 03/26/2012
Good Lord, one day they will be asking that question won't they? For now the internet is just made up of crappy "mined" or "stolen" info from guess what - HARD COPY.
photo
Luman Walter
Once arrested for juggling.
11:40 AM on 03/23/2012
What if conclusive evidence surfaced that proved that God did exist... but it turned out to be a giant eel or fish instead of a...The simple truth is we would feel disappointed and slightly nauseated...happy hunting.
10:02 PM on 03/25/2012
At first I thought there was some deep esoteric thought behind your statement...but then I realized there wasn't.
photo
Luman Walter
Once arrested for juggling.
12:33 AM on 03/26/2012
There never is.
photo
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
DAE
10:13 AM on 03/23/2012
Ah ha! All your scepticism can be dismissed in one fell swoop. You have conclusively proved that the YECs (Young Earth Creationists) are right! The Earth is only 10,000 years old and Nessie is a plesiosaur. Given a young Earth all your doubts fade away into insignificance. Case closed!
09:47 PM on 03/25/2012
Uh, I proved Nessie WAS NOT a plesiosaur so you can't hang your young earth hat here partner. Not that I entirely disagree with YE, but your logic here is flawed.
photo
Rippington
Highly opinionated and most likely will offend you
10:13 AM on 03/23/2012
The only thing I can truly say is... um.... DUH!

We can also lump Bigfoot into the mythology category with ghosts, the mothman, the goatman and any other local nonexistant creatues.
09:41 PM on 03/25/2012
I noticed you didnt mention aliens...
photo
Rippington
Highly opinionated and most likely will offend you
08:43 AM on 03/26/2012
Whereas we humans have not explored the universe with any of the remotest types of finality... I can't rightly put the nail in that particular coffin. I feel that it is astronomically and incredibly unlikely that life from other planets has actually visited us... but I'm not prepared to say that life from or on other planets does not exist at all. Unlikely... but not impossible.