Editor's Note: This post is a work of satire. All attributed quotes are fictional.

Last week, news headlines trumpeted, "Disney World Employee Arrested on Porn Charges." Republicans in Congress immediately called for investigation of Disney World.

"Disney World has been undermining the American entertainment process, and this...

The legendary humorist Will Rogers once said, "I'm not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat."

He said this in 1935.

That has been the history of Democrats. Democrats do eat their young. By contrast, Republicans tend to live by what Ronald Reagan referred to...

There have been two noteworthy articles gushing about the recent screening of Avatar at the Motion Picture Academy, proclaiming the reaction to the film so ecstatic that it was now easily the frontrunner for Best Picture.

Both articles were wrong. I can say this with certainty. I was at that...

With a long history of inexplicable, often mind-numbing decisions rating movies, the MPAA has remarkably outdone themselves. They've just reached a new low that gives them a tough standard to match in the future.

The movie in question is It's Complicated. A perfectly normal romantic comedy from writer-director Nancy Meyers,...

A few years back, I wrote about new discoveries surrounding the holiday classic, Handel's "Messiah." Several months later, I followed it up with additional revelations. Given that 'tis its season yet again, it seems like a fine time to repeat the story, as just another of the many holiday traditions....

This column was originally published on December 21, 2006. It has been repeated annually as a result of requests and despite attempts to get restraining orders.

Several years back, a mixed group of writer friends was discussing religion, when it veered off track a bit. "A bit" as in, someone...

Last Friday, Bill O'Relly was upset about a fictional TV character calling him out, along with Rush Limbaugh, Glenn Beck and another fictional character Gordon Garrison.

Come, let us stroll down the lane and take a closer look at what he said. Perhaps we can make some sense of it.

The Complete Guide to Life. Chapter 12.

The other day, a friend of mine was complaining about her relationships. "All men are jerks," she sighed wistfully -- albeit through clenched teeth. "Why are there no nice guys?"

I've heard the complaint before. We all have. Oprah built...

Last Friday, Sen. John McCain (R-AZ) was on the radio, seething about the economy and noting, "I'm madder than I've ever been."

One reason he said he was so mad was because he didn't support the stimulus bill. Okay, true, he did vote to bail out America's banks -- but...

As visions of a Chicago Cubs World Series dance through your head (what can I say, I have my priorities), 'tis the season for giving. Therefore, I thought it might be appropriate for a TWW first: single out some of my favorite items that these halls have reviewed during the...

And so it came to pass that the far-right wing of the Republican Party (AKA, the Republican Party) came forth unto the land with teabags in hand and proudly proclaimed themselves mighty Revolutionists, leading the way towards a mighty revolution.

As it happens, they have confused "revolution" with "whining because...

It never ceases to bemuse me when I see people raving about Sarah Palin as their beloved choice for President of the United States. Mayor! Governor! Maverick! It is a response that speaks volumes, not about Ms. Palin, but about her disciples. And what it speaks is not flattering.

Anyone...

This will be unreasonably brief and lacking in far too much detail, but sometimes things must be rushed and not overlooked, and today is one of those times. Today marks the 50th anniversary of one of the most beloved and still-appreciated cartoon shows, ever.

Yes, on November 19, 1959,...

In the MP3 world, there is the iPod and everything else. In part, that's because it's a good device. In part, that's because it's an innovative device. But, in truth, there are other good and innovative devices. What most has kept the iPod as the King of the Mountain is...

So, Carrie Prejean was on Oprah yesterday, and when... wait, I'm sorry, it was Sarah Palin. My mistake. I confuse them at times. Beauty pageant winners who left their jobs early and get peevish when you ask something hard they don't want to answer, but claim you're stifling their freedom...

I would just like to mention that I am writing this with an adorable baby on my shoulder. It might not be readily apparent, and I think it's important for you to know.

When I saw Rep. John Shadegg (R-AZ) on the House floor over the weekend, making his heart-wrenching...

There's something almost adorable seeing Republicans flail in the wind, trying to come up with reasons why people should dislike Barack Obama. It's akin to watching a dog run around trying to catch a light beam.

How can your heart not break when you see people struggling so hard to...

A few months back in his wonderful blog, the much too multi-talented Ken Levine wrote about the worst songs ever recorded. It was an impressive list (or unimpressive, depending on your perspective), in large part because of its excessive length, culled as it was from his years as a...

Last week, Liz Cheney berated the President of the United States for publicly honoring the war dead. The scathing rebukes, most notably Lawrence O'Donnell, were well-deserved.

Most were also misguided.

To be sure, the facts and perspective they presented were important. After all, Ms. Cheney's egregious contentions were disingenuous...

It's been a fascinating progression to watch.

First, we saw Republicans upset that the President of the United States told school children to study hard and stay in school.

Then we saw them angrily deploring that the American President won the Nobel Prize for peace.

And now, we see conservatives...