Dick Cheney: the Only Person in the World Who Doesn't Know Why He's Unpopular

Vice President Dick Cheney has just told a Wyoming newspaper that he doesn't know why he's unpopular. His exact phrase was, "I don't have any idea. I don't follow the polls."

Well, okay, first of all, knowing why you're unpopular has nothing to do with following the polls. The polls don't ask "why" you dislike Dick Cheney, just whether you dislike Dick Cheney. And then all they do is just report that your approval is only 15%. Knowing why you're unpopular is easy. It simply requires following the news. Or having a honest sense of your strengths and weaknesses. Doing both of these things would seem to be a great quality to possess for being a good vice president of the United States. Not having them risks getting you 15% in popularity.

Further...of course Dick Cheney follows the polls. Politicians follow polls more readily than pigs follow a trail of garbage. That doesn't mean they all act on what the poll says. But sure as the sun rises, politicians follow polls. And this administration, perhaps more than any in U.S. history, has made polls its lifeblood and followed them in order to appeal to its base and find issues to divide the country.

Of course, the biggest proof that Mr. Cheney was lying and that he actually does follow polls is that he answered the question. When asked to explain his low approval rating, he didn't respond, "What??! I'm unpopular?? Really?!!!! No way. You're serious. No way. Yipes, I had no idea." No, instead, he answered the question. And acknowledged that he knew he was, indeed, unpopular.

He just said he didn't know why.

Of course, two weeks ago, he did have an answer. (Okay, I'm not saying he had the right answer. Or even a plausible one. Just "an" answer.) Mr. Cheney explained to Chris Wallace on Fox, ""Eventually you wear out your welcome in this business." Forgetting for a moment that he made himself and the Bush administration sound like the last season of the sitcom, "Mr. Belvedere," it disingenuously ignores the reality that Bill Clinton left office with his approval rating at 65%. And that's after he had been impeached. Dick Cheney is leaving with his approval wallowing at 15%. Multiply that by four, and he's still below Bill Clinton.

So, maybe Dick Cheney really doesn't know why he's so unpopular.

Since it's the end of the year, and since I believe in public service and being a good, honorable fellow, I will provide a kindness for Vice President Dick Cheney. I will explain to him why he's unpopular.

Here are 25 reasons to begin with. I trust he's taking notes for the next time he's asked.


1. You pressured the CIA into falsifying information that got the nation involved in the Iraq War.

2. You admitted to approving torture.

3. You promoted spying on American citizens.

4. You repeatedly suggested that America would be greeted as liberators in Iraq and then after that lie became an embarrassment, lied and said you never said that.

5. You pressured the CIA into falsifying information that got the nation involved in the Iraq War. I know I said that before, but you can never say that one enough. Even if all the other reasons didn't exist, it would be enough. It's a really good one.

6. You lead the search team for finding a vice president for George Bush, and named yourself, ushering in an era of selfishness and political manipulation.

7. Your involving America in the Iraq War has cost the country $583 billion dollars. Well, for starters. This is money that could have been used for a good cause: like bailing out Wall Street CEOs.

8. You show a scorn of the U.S. Constitution by suggesting that you are not a part of the Executive Branch of government, nor a part of the Senate, but an island unto yourself.

9. Your involving the nation in the Iraq War has gotten 4,200 Americans killed.

10. You showed a heartless scorn and frozen coldness towards the American public and those 4,200 dead by responding "So what?" when informed that two-thirds of Americans opposed the Iraq War.

11. You held a secret meeting with the heads of oil companies for determining America's energy policies. And you didn't even include America's top expert on energy, Sarah Palin.

12. You helped oversee the collapse of the American economy.

13. You have helped oversee the collapse of America's high-standing around the world.

14. You come across as really mean. Also, snarly, angry and vicious, all qualities contrary to a public who elected your boss pretty much because they think he seemed like the kind of guy they could have a beer with. You seem like the kind of guy who would hit them on the head with a beer bottle. When they weren't looking. After they'd bought you the beer.

15. You began the plan to out a CIA operative who was protecting America by working on counter-intelligence, simply because you didn't like an accurate report her husband wrote.

16. You support the illegal detention of prisoners, eradicating the 1,000-year humanitarian tradition of habeas corpus.

17. Your saying that you don't know why you are unpopular is why you are unpopular. It shows you to be either so cut off from reality as to be near-inhuman, or such a bald-faced liar as would make Pinocchio seem honorable. Saying you don't know why you're unpopular is like the person who punches someone in the eye and goes, "What??! What did I do?!"

18. Your abrasiveness, highlighted by crude swearing at opponents on the "gentleman's club" of the Senate floor, is seen as a leading cause of the breakdown of decency and bi-partisanship in government.

19. You went into hiding and stayed in your undisclosed bunker at the very time America needed transparency and leadership.

20. You seem like you're the real-life equivalent of Darth Vader. Just to be clear, this is different from coming across as "really mean." Grade school principals are "really mean." But after-class detention is different from trying to annihilate human life forms by sucking them into a universal Black Hole.

21. Your Administration ignored a briefing, "Bin Laden Determined to Attack U.S.," and the U.S. got attacked by Bin Laden.

22. You ignore that the U.S. got attacked and that 3,000 people got killed under your Administration's watch, while lying that you kept America safe.

23. You took a proud, honored nation and crushed it so badly that 81% of Americans say the country is seriously off-track. I particularly mention this since you say you don't follow polls.

24. You have retained stock options and deferred salary to Halliburton, of which you were CEO, despite insisting you severed all ties to the company that has received several billion in government contracts from the Iraq War.

25. You shot your 78-year-old friend Harry Whittington in the face, didn't rush with him to the hospital, didn't instantly apologize, and got him to accept responsibility. Sort of like what you've tried to do to the United States.

Anyway, now you know. In case it comes up again. Like at your war crimes trial. Or at lunch.

Happy New Year, though.

Same to America. And a happy one it finally is......

Comments

[RiggsMD]

With all the money he's fleeced this country out of and his undying love for power, the only thing to faze Cheney would be a conviction of the proportion of the rest of his life in prison. I would give ammunity to any and everyone involved to get aconviction against him.

[dayala]

you left out his refusal to spearhead the Gulf Coast recovery after Katrina making an off-hand comment to the effect 'I don't do touchy-feely'.

http://thinkprogress.org/2008/09/15/cheney-refused-katrina/

[plzchuteme]

A fine post, Mr. Elisberg, though disturbing when many, though not all, of the Cheney negatives are gathered in one place. I had trouble finishing the article, though, because I became stuck on that 15% approval rating. That's 15% that "approve" of, and not just tolerate the V.P. That is astounding to me on two levels. First, that there are AS MANY AS 15 out of 100 who approve, and second; that there are ONLY 15 out of 100 that approve. He has apparently managed to beat the "house odds."

[SillyGit]

Apparently 15 out of every 100 people in the U.S. either live under a rock or never speak to anyone that is not a member of their country club.

[karela]

It just goes to show that 15 out of a hundred people in America make their money in crooked ways and received help in doing so from the way Mr. Cheney ran the country.

[hl7]

Could it be that it really comes down to # 24, Halliburton self-dealing, and the man is simply corrupt?

[thinkagain2]

hmmm. you think maybe?

[karela]

The root of all evil is the LOVE of money. The thing that we should be concerned about if we don't prosecute him for war crimes is what he will do now with the billions of dollars he has accumulated both above and below the table.

[ArjenBoatsma]

Please don't insult Darth Vader by comparing Cheney to him. As Luke Skywalker knew, Darth Vader had some good left in him. The only appropriate comparison, on many more levels, is to the Emperor, Darth Sidious.

[lovable]

he knows why . he is lying again!!!

[dessertsfirst]

Cheney wouldn't know the truth if it hit him on the head.

[LawrenceOfAcademia]

What puzzles me is why Mr. Elisberg continues to beat a dead horse: i.e., the Bush Administration and the Republican Party.
Obama won, it's over; can you take "yes" for an answer?
I'm not suggesting forgive and forget, but what's the point of piling on?

[exoevolution]

"what's the point of piling on?"

Accountability & Payback for the injustices done!

[hl7]

If we all just let it go then they get away with it. A better idea might be to prosecute Mr. Cheney and his ilk for some of their misdeeds to discourage future office holders from emulating them.

[LawrenceOfAcademia]

For nearly the entire term of Bush 43 I've been listening to cries for the impeachment of Bush and the prosecution of Cheney.
It's just so much hot air.

When will Democrats get their heads out of the clouds and their feet on the ground?
Except for a world-class financial crash John McCain could have prevailed in what should have been a Democrat walk-away.

Cries to try Cheney betray a naivete that borders on complete ignorance of the way politics functions in our country.

[gschear]

The Administration is furiously applying frosting to a moldy, rancid cake. We must prevent this poisoness confection from being served to our children as "truth". If that means shouting these criminals down at every opprotunity then so be it. The deserve no respect they earned no quarter.

[progressiveinga]

"Applying frosting to a moldy, rancid cake". Perfect analogy to the Bush/Cheney Legacy Project. Good one.

[kathy001]

First, as exoevolution said, accountability. And second, because we must never forget so that we never let it happen again. Let's face it, the American people deserve some of the blame for Cheney and Bush's crimes. We didn't stand up and scream 'No!" We didn't march on Washington. And we should have. But I bet we do the next time we let people like Bush & Cheney pull the wool over our eyes.

[fishgirl26]

You need to tell that to all the people he hurt. Remember how the repubs piled on Bill Clinton???

[pueblocolorado]

And he doesn't care that he's unpopular.

[LawrenceOfAcademia]

Why should he?
He did his job as well as he thought he could.
Everyone works toward the light, however ugly the result may be.

[dogman44]

If you mean what I think you mean about "Everyone works toward the light", then I have
to disagree with you. Satiating a lust for wealth and power is not working toward the
light. We may be working on a different definition of "the light". I consider working toward
the light as a quest for truth and enlightenment, thoughts that I doubt cheney has ever
pondered.

[benjaminblue]

And let's not forget his treasonous "treatment" of Joe and Valerie Wilson, the related lies and the cost of that investigation (not to mention the flagrant in-your-face denial of the consequent trial).

[MORRISONTHECAT]

If the timing were different-I would swear Dick Cheney was the model on which "Mr. Potter" was based in the movie "It's a Wonderful Life".

[NChooseK]

Cheney doesn't know why he's unpopular and Rice thinks some aspects of American foreign policy deserve an "A+" under Bush.

Do these people have central nervous systems?

[sunu20]

Bravo, Robert! I'm amazed he's even at 15%.