"Ethics Bill Fails in Republican-controlled House, 206-8,342"

April Fool's Day is supposed to be a time of rejoicing for satire. The closest thing comedy gets to a religious holiday, outside of Purim. The problem is, sometimes things get handed you on a Silver Platter that transcend easy, so far beyond that it's simply not fair. It's like shooting fish in a soup bowl. (Example: that could have been, "It's like shooting your good friend in the face on a quail hunt.") Which faux-story do you choose to write? So many deserving targets, so few fingers with which to type them.

In the end, it's just too much for only one day. Because too often it seems like April Fool's Day is every day.



White House Withdraws Troops from Iraq, Mission Actually Accomplished

Residents Flock Back to New Orleans Three Decades Ahead of Schedule

Canada Builds Border-length Wall to Keep Out Americans

Secret Bush White House Tapes Discovered on iPod

G.O.P Exonerates Bill Clinton

Sunnis, Kurds and Shiites End 1,000 Years of Discord with Barbecue

Child Passes Test, Only Three Still Left Behind

Vast Right Wing Conspiracy Revealed

Democrats Agree on Something

Bill Frist Sued for Malpractice in Schiavo Case

Missing Florida Ballots Found from 2000

Republicans to Hillary: "Please Forgive Us"

China Writes Off $700 Billion U.S. Loan

Osama Bin Laden Captured

Definition of "Is" Found to Be More Confusing Than Previously Thought

Hole in Ozone Layer Fixed

Karl Rove Accidentally Bugs Own Office

Missing Ohio Ballots Found from 2004

President Nominates Harriet Miers for Fake Supreme Court Position

Environmentalist Activists Declare Selves An Endangered Species

Tom DeLay Named Most Photogenic Inmate

Home Video of Dick Cheney Hunting Trip on eBay

Entire Female Population of South Dakota Leaves

Grover Norquist Drowns in Bathtub

Old National Guard Records Uncovered, Bush Declared AWOL

Dems Put Paul Hackett Back on Ballot in Ohio

Decimal Point Mistake, Budget Deficit only $90.0000000000

Bay Buchanan Deported

Greenhouse Gas Proven To Be Alternative Energy Source

Ron Silver Returns to Democratic Party

Halliburton Admits Ties to Iran and North Korea

Drug Cartel Admits Ties to Halliburton

Fox News Admits Ties to Drug Cartel

Baby Seal Killers Admits Ties to Fox News

Matt Drudge Admits Ties to Baby Seal Killers

Homer Simpson Admits Ties to Matt Drudge

Chicago Cubs Win World Series