Getting Trumped at the Border

Discussing the political policies of Donald Trump now that he is a Republican "presidential candidate" is a pointless undertaking, not unlike inviting a raccoon to be a guest onBut everyone loves the circus, so it's hard not to find great amusement in the three-ring spectacle.
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NEW YORK, NY - APRIL 18: Miss Universe 2010 Ximena Navarrete and business mogul/TV personality Donald Trump (R) attend the Success by Trump fragrance launch at Macy's Herald Square on April 18, 2012 in New York City. (Photo by Slaven Vlasic/Getty Images)
NEW YORK, NY - APRIL 18: Miss Universe 2010 Ximena Navarrete and business mogul/TV personality Donald Trump (R) attend the Success by Trump fragrance launch at Macy's Herald Square on April 18, 2012 in New York City. (Photo by Slaven Vlasic/Getty Images)

Discussing the political policies of Donald Trump now that he is a Republican "presidential candidate" is a pointless undertaking, not unlike inviting a raccoon to be a guest on Meet the Press. But everyone loves the circus, and so it's hard not to find great amusement in the three-ring spectacle Mr. Trump has dragged with him, complete with a clown in the center right and even an elephant.

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, cast your eyes under the Big Top and watch as Donald Trump tries not to humiliate the Republican Party as an actual candidate for their presidential nomination by crowding out others on the debate platform with just enough GOP voters taking him seriously in polls, all the while fighting TV networks over beauty pageants!

Forget the more general national polls that qualify him for the Fox debates, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, Donald Trump is actually in second place among Republicans in New Hampshire in a Suffolk University poll. Sure, that's likely because his name is new and fresh to unthinking voters who love flash and sizzle and confetti and parades when the circus comes to town, but still... Donald Trump in second place, even for day, is embarrassing enough. Imagine being the party official who has to sweep up behind this elephant and clean the mess.

Which is why it's so amusing watching Mr. Trump -- who seems to think that being president is so easy that you just have to issue edicts and all will do your bidding, where world affairs and diplomacy have no meaning, even when dealing with sovereign nations, and you merely have to say, "You're fired!" and everyone will go slinking off. Yet just days out of the starting gate, and he can't even help get into a fight with -- not other candidates over policy, but -- the Univision and NBC television networks.

Oddly, and inexplicably to Mr. Trump, it caused problems with a TV network broadcasting to Mexican Americans after he said, "When Mexico sends its people, they're not sending their best. They're sending people who have lots of problems and they're bringing their problems. "They're bringing drugs, they're bringing crime, they're rapists," and then added most amusingly of all, which is impressive given what he had just said, "and some, I assume, are good people."

(Interestingly, as a side note, that's almost how many feel about this massive slate of Republican presidential candidates. But I digress...)

So, as is now known, Univision, the huge Spanish-language television network, shockingly took offense and cut ties with Mr. Trump. And NBC distanced itself with their network's host. And now Macy's...

But that's not the fun of this circus. It's that, as befits any serious presidential candidate, of course, Donald Trump jumped out of the car crammed with all the midgets and is now in a snit fit about TV shows and has threatened to sue for hundreds of millions of dollars.

Because that's just how you want to be seen as a serious presidential candidate, who's number two in New Hampshire.

Mr. Trump's sense of presidential acumen has shown itself as he's ratcheted up the rhetoric, with comments like, ""And, by the way, Univision called me and they apologized for what they're doing because they felt so stupid and so guilty." To which he added, "They called me this morning like a little lamb."

I'm going to make a guess here that that's not how the conversation actually went, if it occurred at all, since a company has huge as Univision has tons of lawyers, who tend to check contracts and think things through before making public statements that break five-year- "ironclad" deals. (Now, mind you they might ultimately reach an agreement with the GOP presidential candidate -- or not -- but it won't be because they're a "little lamb" who feels "so stupid."

Again, remember, we're talking about airing beauty pageants.

But I think the best comment of all from Mr. Trump -- which is saying a lot -- is when he showed his total cluelessness (always a quality one wants in a president) and noted, "The problem that Univision has with me is that I'm honest about trade and I'm honest about the border."

Actually, the problem that Univision -- and NBC and Macy's -- have with him is that he said, "They're bringing drugs, they're bringing crime, they're rapists -- and some, I assume, are good people." And also said about dealing with Mexico that "I would build a Great Wall -- and nobody build walls better and I will do it very inexpensively - on our southern border and have Mexico pay for it."

That's more likely why Univision is so pissed off. And NBC. And Macy's. And Mexico. And most thinking-humans.

Equally humorous is when he suggests Univision is only acting this way because "The Mexican government is putting pressure on Univision." That's a pretty nifty trick since Univision is, in fact, a U.S. network, and actually based in New York City.

By the way, forget for a moment that this is not how any political party likely wants its #2 candidate in New Hampshire to be perceived, getting into fights with TV networks over beauty pageants and threatening lawsuits. Instead, consider that most actual politicians try to make a point about how great they are at building bridges -- not that they build walls better than anyone.

The Trump Circus has come to town! And it's a beauty.

To be fair, the really huge embarrassment is not that he's running for the GOP nomination for president -- hey, anyone can file, just look at Ben Carson. Or Bobby Jindal. It's that to Republican voters in New Hampshire, he's better right now than ALL other Republicans running except Jeb Bush.

As for the others -- well...some, I assume, are good people.

That sound you hear is the Republican National Committee cringing.
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To read more from Robert J. Elisberg about this or many other matters both large and tidbit small, see Elisberg Industries.

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