I've been wrongly under the assumption that Joe Biden would run circles around Sarah Palin in their upcoming debate. It seemed logical -- when Georgia was attacked by Russia, its president Michael Saakashvili called Biden in to help.
However, if people who know far more about Sarah Palin than I do say she is the most amazingly-qualified person in the Republican Party to be Vice President of the United States, a brilliant mind, who am I to say otherwise?
The Republicans have convinced me. If they say that Sarah Palin is that tremendous a choice on every level, then I am willing to call their bluff and raise the bar high for her. Therefore, let me say it out loud: Sarah Palin will sweep the floor with Joe Biden. She is easily the favorite in her debate. Joe Biden is the woeful underdog. The bar is so low for Joe Biden, he can't limbo under it. He doesn't stand a chance. Yes, Sarah Palin is that remarkable. That's what the Republicans tell me. And I am willing to take them at their word.
"She is strong. She is capable. She is articulate. She will not take any prisoners."
-- Governor M. Jodi Rell (R-CT)
That's an near-impossible combination to beat. But what makes it so impressive is that when the U.S. has to go to war against Russia and Iran, like Sarah Palin anticipates, not taking any prisoners will come in really handy. Now, include our current wars with Iraq and Afghanistan. If we took prisoners in all four, there wouldn't be room in any American prisons, let alone Gitmo. So, score a big one for Sarah Palin.
"(Sarah Palin is) already one of the most successful governors in America -- and the most popular. And she already has more executive experience than the entire Democratic ticket."
-- Rudy Giuliani, former mayor (R-NYC)
Most popular governor. Bam! Take that Mitt Romney. Take that Arnold Schwarzenegger, and you're the "Last Action Hero" and won Mr. Universe. And bam, she's clearly more popular than both Charlie Crist and Tim Pawlenty put together, because John McCain didn't pick them to be vice president. Take that!
And by the way, Sarah Palin has more executive experience than even John McCain! You'd think that was almost impossible. That's how great Sarah Palin is.
"She's functioned as a governor, she's the commander-in-chief of a national guard, she's a former mayor, she's the former chair of an energy commission in Alaska.
-- Tim Pawlenty, governor (R-MN)
It's like sensory overload. Talk about showing the breadth of Sarah Palin's qualities. Her legendary military tactics kept foreign enemies so terrified of attacking Alaska that she never had to use her national guard powers even once. She learned everything necessary for the energy commission in only 11 months and quit. She was so great as mayor of Wasilla that her vote total increased for her second term by an amazing 50-percent, from 616 votes to 909. And for well-over one year, she functioned as governor of a state more populous than even Fort Worth, Texas. You almost want to say, "And on the seventh day she rested."
"What she's done in Alaska is what we would hope to do in Washington."
-- Lindsay Graham, U.S. senator (R-SC)
We can only hope. While George Bush created a $482 billion deficit, Sarah Palin was able to keep her budget deficit in Wasilla down to a mere $20 million. All Washington has to do is follow her plan and cut the population of America to 5,500 people.
(Sarah Palin) "got more votes running for mayor of Wasilla, Alaska, than Joe Biden got running for president of the United States."
-- Mike Huckabee, former governor (R-AR)
While Joe Biden got 75,000 votes running for president, Sarah Palin had 1,525 in her two campaigns as mayor which shows that votes obviously count for more in Alaska because Mike Huckabee is a former minister and wouldn't lie. How remarkable does someone have to be to receive votes that count 50 times more than normal?!
"She's got foreign policy experience because you can see Russia from part of Alaska."
-- John McCain, U.S. senator (R-AZ), Republican nominee for president
Trust me, Sarah Palin's expertise is even better than this, if that's possible. Because you can see the Pacific Ocean from Alaska, she's also an expert on seals. You can see Canada from Alaska, so she's an expert on beer. You can see the moon from all of Alaska, which means she can run NASA. And she can see into the bedroom of her neighbors the Bendersons, so she's an expert on their sex life.
Sarah Palin has so much foreign policy experience from spotting Russia, that's why she never even felt a need to ever get a passport before a year ago.
"She could not be a better vice-presidential pick."
-- Marjorie Dannenfelser of the Susan B. Anthony List, that works to elect women opposing abortion rights
This is big. Even John McCain couldn't get Marjorie Dennenfelser's support, since he's only a man. Moreover, Sen. McCain also couldn't get it because he doesn't oppose abortion rights in all cases, as does Sarah Palin, so that's doubly better.
"It is an outstanding choice."
-- Olympia Snowe, U.S. senator (R-ME)
No reason given, no reason necessary. 'Nuff said.
"She is a courageous, successful reformer, who is not afraid to take on the establishment. She has run a municipality and she has run a state."
-- Fred Thompson, former U.S.senator (R-TN)
When the police chief and head librarian of Wasilla didn't support her enough, Sarah Palin reformed the town and fired them. When the Chief of Public Safety wouldn't fire her ex-brother-in-law, Sarah Palin reformed Alaska and fired him, too. Because of past charges of sexual harassment, her own replacement resigned in two weeks, which is why we need courageous and successful reformers like Sarah Palin.
By the way, Rudy Giuliani has been mayor of a municipality, but not run a state. That's why John McCain didn't pick him. Jeb Bush has only run a state, but not been a mayor -which shows why he wasn't picked. (Also, there's all that "Bush" baggage.)
"She knows more about energy than probably anyone else in the United States of America."
-- John McCain, U.S. senator (R-AZ), Republican nominee for president
Bam! Take that T. Boone Pickens. Take that George Bush, even. Take that Dick Cheney. And Secretary of Energy Samuel Bodman. And take that Gary Luqette, president of Chevron. And the presidents of every oil company. It's a perceptive eye like this, picking the top expert no one else could see, that has made John McCain his own man. With his own facts.
"She's a real person and she has handled real problems."
-- Pete Dominici, United States senator (R-NM)
With Joe Biden burdened by being a fake person, and gallivanting around to help with foreign governments, Sarah Palin has dealt with real problems, like her family, crabgrass, praying to God for an oil pipeline, and failing to sell merchandise on eBay. When she has to handle Russia or North Korea.. Or Mahmoud Ahmandinejad, the president of Iran, they won't know what hit them, because she's dealt with pot holes. Real problems.
"Obviously, she is very, very well-qualified."
-- Rose Ann Scotti, former Republican mayor of Colts Neck, NJ
Clearly, who better to know whether the former major of a hamlet has the qualifications to be President of the United States than the former mayor of another hamlet?!
"She is smart and she is a unique combination of toughness and grace."
- Linda Lingle, governor (R-Hawaii)
Think how far Mussolini could have gone if only he'd known how to use a hanky. When she made the tough decisions to fire the police chief, librarian and Chief of Public Safety, her letters of dismissal were written on fine-weave stationery.
Sarah Palin is tough enough to avoid the pressure to be interviewed by "Face the Nation," "Meet the Press, " Wall Street Journal and more, like all other candidates always, and yet gracefully return to her home in Alaska. If she can be that tough avoiding basic questions about herself, think how incredible she'll be facing down Vladimir Putin and Mahmoud Ahmadinejad in wars. But with grace.
"I'm so proud that she has displayed the kind of judgment and she has the experience and judgment as an executive... "
-- John McCain, U.S. senator (R-AZ), Republican nominee for president
Judgment galore. Officials of the Alaskan Independence Party are first to none in admiring that judgment, saying that Sarah Palin once attended their very own convention, which has been pushing for Alaskans to secede from the United States.
If Alaska left the union, Sarah Palin could become leader of an entire nation. Talk about qualifications. And this overlaps with John McCain's own vision. His TV ads have run the motto -- "Country First." The AIP's motto is -- "Alaska First -- Alaska Always." That's almost exactly the same. And Alaska is part of the "country"! Unless it secedes.
"Her record has been so strong for so long."
-- Grover Norquist, Republican lobbyist and former registered agent of Angola
For someone who has said he wants to get government "down to the size where we can drown it in a bathtub," this is no small praise. He doesn't endorse just anybody. Just people he believes can help drown government.
"She has a lot of substance."
-- Carly Fiorina, Republican McCain advisor and former campaign spokesperson
That's exactly what they saw in her in Wasilla, and it's why 616 citizens stood up and proudly voted for her.
"It was awesome. She just put it out there that she does have experience, and she was funny at the same time."
-- Hanna Malaihollo, 18-year-old alternate delegate (R-CA)
Sarah Palin can convince young people that she has experience simply because she says so, offsetting their natural aversion to John McCain. What can't she do?!! And she's funny. Jon Stewart is only funny. That's why he's not nominated for vice president.
"She's a partner and a soul mate. I mean, it's remarkable. It's a remarkable person."
-- John McCain, U.S. senator (R-AZ), Republican nominee for president
It's not every presidential candidate so smitten that he's willing to express his undying love in public. The only other one was Jimmy Carter, who admitted lusting in his heart. You don't see Barack Obama calling Joe Biden his soul mate.
Not to worry, Family Values folk, this is political and spiritual love. Cindy McCain has nothing to be concerned about! (Unless she gets in a disfiguring accident. Or loses her money.)
"I am prepared. I need no on-the-job training. I wasn't a mayor for a short period of time. I wasn't a governor for a short period of time."
- Sarah Palin, governor (R-AK), Republican nominee for president
Considering that most fruit flies live less than two months, Sarah Palin has the preparation to be President of the United States of 22 lifetimes.
Go America! Go Sarah Palin! Go fruit flies!
And look out, Joe Biden. You are in so much trouble. The Republican Party says so: the most qualified person in the G.O.P. is coming to get you. And her name is Sarah Palin. Game over. She's got it all. From the Republican elite to the grassroots, they know Sarah Palin, and know she's got it all. Accept your fate, Joe. She's tough, a pit bull, she's going to crush you. But the good news is, she'll do it with grace.
Thank you Robert Elisberg for a great bit of political comedy.
I do wonder though, how did some of the more substantive Republicans on that list (Olympia Snowe, Lindsey Graham) manage to control their gag reflexes. Of course, we can notice that Olympia Snowe did not quantify her use of the adjective "outstanding."
According to Carly Fiorina "She has a lot of substance" but not the experience to run a corporation. But that shouldn't worry us! After all, she's ONLY running for the second highest office in the land AND she's filled in Potholes!
Political Humor at its Finest!
http://www.barackobamsworld.com
I call them as I see them
I can picture this:
The second she opens her mouth and starts with her weapon of mass distruction voice, Senator Biden will fall to his knees, clenching his head from the ear splitting agonizing pain.
Thanky for the update on her super human god like quality and ability to mother so well.
:-)
roflmao
nice article!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I mean what could be more cute than “thanks, but no thanks”? (Although, inaccurate, in its context use).
Let me be clear: ‘cute’ is not gender bias.
To be fair the Republican VP candidate has responded in other interesting ways too.
A vacuous answer was when she parsed her foreign policy credentials as Alaska’s proximity to Russia.
An ill-informed comment linking Iraq to 9/11.
Palin’s first words on economic policy, erroneously suggesting the FM’s were federally funded agencies, is a mistake a lot of folk could make. Conversely, my expectation at this level of high office, is that this fact would be known.
It would impress me if Gov Palin would start addressing substantive issue questions.
Perhaps during the VP debate we may learn more. At this time we are learning precious little.
Additionally, Obama is only a few years older than Palin. During the Primary debates he appeared undaunted by his very qualified and longer serving rivals. Vigorous debate is what I am hoping for with Biden and Palin.
I suspect Palin’s comments on the upcoming VP debate, were more an effort for dampening down pre-game hype