Larry Gelbart: The Mold Was Just Broken

Some days, you wish you didn't answer the phone. Today was that day. It was a friend telling me that Larry Gelbart had died.

I can't do justice to Larry Gelbart, even if I had several months to write something about it. He was an amazing writer and probably a better person. There may have been more renowned writers in a single medium, but his versatility was breathtaking, and so he may have been the most successful and best writer ever in America who wrote in all three major media -- the theater, movies and television.

photo credit, Los Angeles Times

On stage, he won Tony Awards for his musicals, A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum and City of Angels. And he wrote the big hit play, Sly Fox.

For television, he had an amazing 12 Emmy nominations, and an additional one, wining the award for M*A*S*H, the series he developed. He wrote the HBO movies, Barbarians at the Gate, Weapons of Mass Distractions and ...and starring Pancho Villa as Himself (all three of which got Emmy nominations). And he was part of the legendary writing staff for the equally legendary series, Caesar's Hour.

And for movies, he got Oscar nominations for Oh, God!, and his co-written script, Tootsie.

And none of this gives a hint who Larry Gelbart was. None of that even gives a hint to all that he wrote, he was that prolific, and talented. Do yourself a favor and check out his film and TV credits on IMDb. As a friend said, describing Larry Gelbart would take Mount Rushmore.

Here's just a touch of who he was as a person, though. It's the best I can do.

Years back, we had never met, but communicated with each other regularly on what was called the Writers Guild BBS, a precursor of newsgroups or chat rooms. One day, I mentioned how I had seen a revival of his musical A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum, which played in Chicago with Phil Silvers in the lead role -- and there was a great song added to that version that never got recorded, because there was no cast album when the show finally got to Broadway. I said how I'd been looking for the number, The Echo Song, for over 20 years, and wondered if he knew whether or not it had ever been recorded. He didn't know, but said that whenever he next talked to Steve, he'd find out.

Fine, I thought, That's nice. Though I didn't have a clue who this "Steve" was, perhaps his assistant, I figured. Then I realized -- oh, he meant Stephen Sondheim, who'd written the score, and that new song. Again, I thought, geez, how really nice that was, but figured they wouldn't likely be talking to one another for a very long while, and when they did, I hardly thought it would be something he'd remotely remember to ask about. But still, you have to admit, it was a nice thought and nice thing to say. Little did I know.

One week later, I got an email from Larry. "I just called Steve and asked him about that song. He said he had a recording of it in a little revue that was done and will send me a tape. What's your address?" Now, remember, we had never met. I had done close to nothing in my career. I was not much more than a punk kid. He didn't know me from Adam, other than some email correspondence. And he did all this. And I today have the tape. The song is wonderful. But far better is knowing how I got it.

The first time I met Larry was not long after that. He was the guest at a Q&A, and I remember the moderator asking him if Larry had always been great with a fast quip (which was his famed reputation), or if it was something he developed. He thought a moment -- not trying to figure out the answer, but whether to be modest or honest. He chose honesty. He shrugged, "I've always been that way."

The quips at that event went flying past you so fast felt it like you had to duck. The afternoon was as hilarious as any comedy. But I most remember one quip said in private, afterward. As I said, we'd never yet met. We only had communicated by email on the WGA service -- and at that point, although your name was attached to your note, you contacted people by an identifying numeral. (Mine was 456). After the event, I went up to Larry and finally introduced myself after many months of emails. "Hi, I'm Bob Elisberg." He looked at me for no more than about one second and then a smile broke out across his face, and he immediately replied. "You look just like your number."

One of the most famous quips about the theater was his. He was writing the book for the musical, The Conquering Hero, based on Preston Sturges's film, Hail the Conquering Hero. It became a renowned flop, having huge problems during its tryout on the road and only lasted eight performances. The whole process was a legendarily difficult time and ultimate disaster. "I don't know if Hitler is still alive," Larry was quoted as saying, "but if he is, I hope he's out of town working on a musical."

But he was just as quick with a witty quip in a nothing private moment. About 15 years ago, we had been exchanging emails about the then-upcoming Writers Guild negotiations with the Alliance of Motion Picture and Television Producers (AMPTP) producers. One contingent was attempting to be conciliatory and was suggesting some loopholes that would be acceptable to the AMPTP. In a private email, amid just normal conversation he tossed off a simple phrase. He wrote, "Why give people loopholes, when history shows us they will only be used as nooses."

If you'd read that in Bartlett's Famous Quotations and were told it was from Benjamin Franklin, you wouldn't be surprised. To Larry Gelbart, it was just conversation.

As kind and thoughtful as Larry was, he was equally feisty and unbending when it came to his vision of right and wrong. Woe be the person who stood on the other side of what he thought was a moral issue. As wildly successful as he was, he always always always fought for the Little Guy. He always fought against leadership anywhere that he perceived as too institutional and what he felt was too overly-protective of private interests. He was, as a friend described him, formidable. If Ted Kennedy was the Lion of the Senate, Larry Gelbart was the Lion of the Writers Guild. But his roar sounded out loudly against any injustice, whether in the Guild or out.

One of his last screenplays was about the Bush Administration, S*** Happens. His last produced work (thus far) was a one-act play written for the Berkshire Playwrights Lab, Pull, a not very loosely-hidden story about a Vice President of the United States who shoots his friend in the face with birdshot and tries to cover it up. Its juggling of language made it a perfect companion to his great play, Mastergate about the Watergate Hearings and the twisting of language, subtitled, A Play on Words.

I said "thus far," because Larry Gelbart remained an active writer to the end. Though 81 years old (and writing for over 60 years, beginning as a professional at age 17, writing for The Danny Thomas Show on the radio), Larry was still being hired by studios and companies to write -- because there are happily enough smart producers (though far too few...) who recognized talent far transcended age.

In addition to S*** Happens and Pull, Larry Gelbart was actively working on a film
adaptation of his Tony Award-winning musical, City of Angels, with Barry
Levinson set to direct, and Bruce Willis to star. And he had also been hired by Warner Bros. to write a sequel to Oh, God, for which he wrote the original. And he was working on a stage musical version of his movie, Tootsie.

For that matter, he also had another project that was put on hold because he was so busy with these! It's a musical, N, about Napoleon and Josephine, written with Cy Coleman (music) and David Zippel (lyrics). When Coleman passed away recently, Larry mentioned that John Kander (Cabaret, Chicago) might come in and help finish the score.

Further more, about two years ago, he wrote a semi-autobiographical play, Better
Late, that premiered in Chicago at the Northlight Theatre, and last year it played at the Galway Arts Festival in Ireland. He was in the midst of trying to set it up for a Broadway run.

All this at 81. He was more busy than most A-list writers half his age.

But I keep going back to what a gentleman he was. When I had created an online mentor program for the Writers Guild, I received an email from someone desperately wanting to write to Larry Gelbart. I contacted Larry and offered to act as an intermediary, to protect his privacy. "No, that's okay," Larry said, "just give him my email address."

One time, I had a screenplay I was having a difficult time getting read. Larry asked the story of it -- and then (without having read a word) recommended it to a producer he was working with and also told me to send it to his agent, with his recommendation.

That's Larry Gelbart. He was a force. He was a dear, kind gentleman. He was crusty. He was a firebreather for liberals. He was hilarious. And he was a brilliant writer. He was just great.

I'm pissed off that he's gone -- he was diagnosed with cancer in June, and to say he will be missed doesn't do justice to the concept. But at least we will always have his works left behind for us to always remember him and be inspired by and be made better by.

There's so much more I want to say about Larry Gelbart, but none of my words will do him justice, so I'll leave it at that. What I'll do though is give him the last words. My very favorite thing he ever wrote. Not surprisingly, it's about writing.

It's from near the end of City of Angels. The main character, Stone, has just been told by the director's secretary that she helped rewrite a scene in his screenplay, and figures he should be grateful. Stone, the writer, replies:

"'Helped?' You'd need a divining rod to find the word 'grateful' in me. Jesus, where the hell is everybody when they first deliver the typing paper? Where are all the 'helpers' when those boxes full of silence come in? Blank. Both sides. No clue, no instructions enclosed on how to take just twenty-six letters and endlessly rearrange them so that they can turn them into a mirror of a part of our lives. Try it sometime. Try doing what I do before I do it."

Comments

[Siobhan11]

That was one of the nicest things I ever read. You really conveyed the essence of the man to me. Thankfully his time of illness was relatively short.

[MountPanic]

Thank you for sharing your experiences with this incredible person, Mr. Elisberg.

I'm coming to find, at this point in my life, how much of my world view came from M*A*S*H*, and by extension, Larry Gelbart.

[jennbeez]

Apparently, Larry Gelbart thought of himself as an ordinary guy with certain talents and not as a god. We find his accessibility amazing because it just wouldn't happen today. Look how many layers of "people" that guy had to get through to finally reach Drew Barrymore in "My Date With Drew." I'm pasting an URL about a correspondence with another fellow of that same generation whose name might surprise you:

http://web2.airmail.net/willdogs/

R.I.P. Mr. Gelbart...­.

[erosenberg]

With Larry's permission, I donated my copies of every United States script (22) to the (then) Museum of Broadcasting in New York (now the Paley Center for media. They should still be there.

[weatherwaxx]

Oh, DAMN.

There's a great big hole in our universe!

Great tribute. I wish you hadn't had the opportunity to write it.

[MacDaffy]

Thank you for this tribute to a great writer. He and Neil Simon were the best of "Caesar's Boys." The current crop of "comedy" screenwriters would do well to take note of Larry's example and try emulating it. Your last paragraph had my monitor a little blurry because I know the feeling.

I have a cast jacket I got for writing a spec "Simpsons" teleplay. I was wearing it at the drugstore on the way home from work one night when a woman behind me asked how I got it.

I told her.

She said, "I wish I had the time to do that."

There was no civil answer for that, so I shut my mouth, paid for my NyQuil, and went home; I had a lot to do before my ten p.m. to 2 a.m. screenwriting "day."

Thanks again. Larry Gelbart, the man, will be missed. But Larry Gelbart, the writer, will always be with us.

[SeaBlood]

I saw Phil Silvers as Pseudolus in "Forum" on Broadway. That was some beautiful show. Unfortunately, I haven't seen anything since which was quite as good. Without Larry, Broadway may be dead.

[ajm]

I never met Larry Gelbart, but as a subscriber to the alt.tv.mash Usenet newsgroup I came across his frequent postings, where he patiently answered people's questions about the making of the series. He replied to several of my comments and we even exchanged e-mails.

He will be missed.

[nlightenup]

Thank you very much. Tomorrow is the 12th anniversary of my dad's death. He was also a professional writer--reporter and columnist--and also always stuck up for the little guy. He never read anything he wrote in the paper because he couldn't stand to see what editors had done with it. His take was pretty much just the same as the part you closed with. Your piece evoked some of the best of Dad in showing me something of the man Larry Gelbart was.

[riversideliberal]

My father and I had the great pleasure of hearing Larry Gelbart speak about 2 years ago in Palm Desert. He was urbane, funny, quick, articulate, well-bred, and charming. He was also completely in love with the art and history and craft of film, about which the three of us got to talk for 45 minutes at the reception afterwards.

If you don't know his work, rent everything named above.

And rent The Wrong Box, an absolutely transcendently funny, sweet, charming, flawlessly written, perfectly acted, beautifully filmed movie starring Sir Ralph Richardson, John Mills, Michael Caine, Nanette Newman, Wilfrid Lawson, Peter Cook, Dudley Moore, and Peter Sellers. It will slay you!

It is perfect from beginning to end, and if Larry Gelbart had written nothing else, he would still have achieved a place in the special part of heaven reserved for brilliant wordsmiths.

And, on top of all this, he was a liberal. He will be missed.

[unitron]

"And, on top of all this, he was a liberal. He will be missed."

I think it was probably an integral part.

[schatsie]

He has left some big footprints to fill with his sense of humanity and humor...gr­eat combinatio­n...

[schatsie]

You know I remembered The Wrong Box from when it was released and watched it 10 years ago or so...then it came back on cable and I found it funnier than the first time around...I­t is camp, so keep that in mind...

PS, I am still looking for The Mouse that Roared and would love to see it remade...P­eter Sellers was stellar in that...

[Steve Young - Huffpost Blogger]

Robert,

Amazing how many stories like yours and mine come out of meeting Larry - reaching out to strangers and bringing them into his aura. Just a sweet and wonderful person.

Steve Young
http://steveyoungonpolitics.com/rest-in-peace-larry-gelbart/

[ericestrin]

Thanks for sharing that, Bob. I spoke with Larry in January, and he was working on a piece he seemed enthusiastic about called "Pinnacle.­" He said it was either a feature or maybe a short tv series. Do you know anything about that?

[Robert J. Elisberg - Huffpost Blogger]

Thanks. And yes, in fact I wrote about the wonderful "Pinnacle" at some length at the end this piece a few months ago --

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/robert-j-elisberg/what-hollywood-is-not-let_b_217363.html

[ericestrin]

Thanks for pointing me to that info. I'm so glad that "Pinnacle" saw the light of day, at least in preview form. Here's hoping some smart exec will pick it up!

[unionnomore]

Larry Gelbart,the master of the rapid fire quip,and Phil Silvers the vaudeville and burlesque comic who could deliver the lines as pure gems.Hellu­va combination!

[Robert J. Elisberg - Huffpost Blogger]

In fact, Phil Silvers was the first choice to play 'Pseudolus' in "A Funny Thing Happened On the Way to the Forum" -- but he turned it down. As Larry explained it, his sense was that the show seemed too artsy in concept, what with togas and all, and Silvers didn't get that it was actually deeply lowbrow. But after it became clear what the show was on stage, Silvers jumped at playing 'Marcus Lycus" in the movie, and ultimately played 'Pseudolus" in the 1979 revival...­and won a Tony Award when it went back to Broadway.

Milton Berle also turned it down. Finally, of course, Zero Mostel said yes. But this is a fun bit of stranger-t­han-fictio­n reality -- one of the original, ancient Plautus plays that the musical is based on is titled (are you ready?)...­"Mostellar­ia."

[JhNyc]

Thanks for the wonderful stories of Larry Gelbart. I have great memories of the revival of "Forum" with Phil Silvers, Larry Blyden, and other excellent performers. That was 1972, though, not 1979. It surely would have had a very nice run, but was cut short when Phil Silvers had a stroke, heart attack, or some other health problem (forget which). I believe Tom Poston stepped in, but business fell off and the show closed after just a few months. I was very fortunate to catch it.

[sneez54]

Thank you Larry,
Love MASH

[BlueBoomer]

M*A*SH* was THE BEST show ever on television, week in, week out...

(with the exception of the laugh track ,which made no sense, except to try to telegraph to the audience that the show was supposed to be a comedy... I wish they could eliminate it in the re-runs)..­.

But the show, the writing, the casting, and the acting was positively BRILLIANT.­.. there's a lot forgetttable about the '70s, but TV was pretty terrific..­. generally much better than now, I think.

Thank You, Larry.