05/28/2014 11:27 am ET Updated Jul 28, 2014

Morning News Round-Up: Headline Edition

We reads the headlines so's you don't have have to.

After being out of town for a month, it takes a while to catch up and get back to speed. So, I don't have it in me yet to read many news stories, and I especially don't have it in me to read the story that come close to making my head explode. So, it goes without saying I'm not able yet to go into depth discussing those that I do read.

However, I figured that I can at least note the headlines of some of the stories that made me glaze over, and give you immediate reactions without even getting into what the story is -- because for some of these, I think my weary, exhausted head would explode if I got that far.

So, here are front page headlines from yesterday's The Huffington Post, which you can now read in safety.


Joe the Plumber: "Your Dead Kids Don't Trump My Constitutional Rights"
No, I wasn't terribly concerned or interested in what "Joe the Plumber" said. I mean, honestly, he's "Joe the Plumber." Mainly, I just never realized that a person's 15 minutes of fame could last this long. Maybe my watch stopped. I'll have to check.


Cliven Bundy Ditches the GOP
Given that these are the days of high school proms, I think it's only appropriate that Mr. Bundy continues the fine, craven tradition of not leaving the party with you brought you. "Fox News" must be especially pissed off, since they probably figured that this was a guy who could groom for president, and now they've wasted all that air time promoting him.


Gov. Rick Scott Won't Say If He Believes In Man-Made Climate Change: 'I'm Not A Scientist'
No word yet on whether non-scientist Gov. Scott (R-FL) believes in gravity and whether or not the earth revolves around the sun. That and electricity, the possibility of telephonic communication, airplane travel, and the effectiveness of heart surgery, Not being a scientist can make life so confusing. But then...that's why we have scientists...


Fox News Guest Issues Lame Apology
I don't know what the guest was supposed to be apologizing for, and I sense that this headline was intended to be critical. But to me, I found it a real shocker and deeply positive. After all, when was the last time you read about anyone of "Fox News" apologizing about anything. "Lame" is great, when you compare it to non-existent.

Dem Who Compared Obama To Hitler Loses Primary
I have to admit, I was tempted to read this story. I wanted to find out if the candidate got any votes. (Left out of the headline is that there was an accompanying photo, and the Democratic candidate was black. I don't know who the candidate's campaign manager was, but I'm guessing that the person is boning up on the concept of "damage control" for the next election.


Pakistani Woman Stoned To Death For Marrying The Man She Loves
There is no truth to the rumor that the corporate-own NRA issued a statement that it's too soon to be discussing whether or not there should be a law against stoning women.


To read more from Robert J. Elisberg about this or many other matters both large and tidbit small, see Elisberg Industries.

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