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Robert J. Elisberg

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Republicans Discover That Life Sucks

Posted: 05/03/11 11:24 AM ET

That sucking sound you've been hearing is Republican presidential hopefuls going down the drain. Professional strength Liquid Plumber couldn't help now.

Forget October, we just had the May Surprise. And what a surprise, a full 20 months before the 2012 election. No cynical, political manipulation needed, raising terror levels to scare Americans. Only a slow, methodical, effective military operation. To cheer them.

Killing Osama bin Laden. Talk about a real Mission Accomplished.

The happiest politician in America right now is Mike Huckabee. "Thank God I've been waffling," he's thinking, "and not announced yet I was running."

Mitt Romney has been reduced now to a liberal healthcare plan he keeps backing away from.

Sarah Palin wasn't likely going to announce, but that uncertainty which fueled curiosity in her has suddenly evaporated. After all, resigning as Alaska governor halfway through her first term seems all the more small, empty and pathetic now.

Tim Pawlenty is still around, but if people had a hard time spotting him before, imagine how hidden his gravitas seems at this point.

Michele Bachmann's non-existent chances had already become radioactive the day Barack Obama released his birth certificate. Now, she's a Black Hole, threatening to implode the Republican Party if any part of it touches her.

Ron Paul may run, but... well, that's like saying Dennis Kucinich or Ralph Nader may run.

There are other potential Republican candidates, of course, but the smart and capable ones didn't become smart and capable by jumping off precipices without a parachute. So, that leaves the not smart and incapable ones.

Do Republicans have issues to run on? Republicans had issues before this and were well-behind in all the polls.

The thing is, while most people think the GOP was dealt a crushing blow with the Obama leadership tracking down and killing Osama bin Laden, the problem for Republican presidential hopes is worse than that.

You see, this wasn't just a May Surprise. This was like Muhammad Ali's "Rope-a-Dope" against George Foreman. Lulling a powerful opponent into a false sense of superiority by letting them pound, pound, pound you, all the while knowing that they were exhausting themselves -- and then your unleashing a flurry of blows against a now-defenseless adversary who crumbles to the canvas.

Consider:

For 2-1/2 years, the lunatic "Birther Movement" was the remaining gasp of the Republican base to confuse the confuseable. There was no birth certificate, so maybe he was a Muslim Kenyan, after all. Yes, it made Birthers and their political leaders look nuts, but as the old Hollywood cliché went, "Y'know, it's crazy... but it just -- might -- work!"

And then, last Wednesday, President Barack Obama had the State of Hawaii release his birth certificate. Ending the issue in one, swift, devastating blow. Over. Done. Goodbye. Worse, it tarnished the Birther leaders themselves.

Then, just two days later, on Friday, the president compassionately toured storm-devastated Alabama, promising quick federal help. Showing how critical federal assistance actually is for providing help to Americans in medical and social need.

The very next day, Saturday, there was more. President Obama again, at the White House Correspondents Dinner, presenting jokes at his own expense, while listening with a warm smile to jokes delivered at him. Letting Americans see what an ingratiating, self-effacing person he is. Getting Americans to laugh with him, even in difficult times, when people need to laugh most.

And then, of course, came Sunday, when President Barack Obama announced to the world that the #1 terrorist, Osama bin Laden, had been tracked down and killed. And all America rejoiced. Except maybe Rush Limbaugh who was still hoping for the Obama Administration to fail.

But it's more than just this. Because Republicans still try to paint Mr. Obama as inexperienced, and passively reacting to events -- yet it turns out that killing bin Laden was an eight-month operation of meticulous planning. Showing that slow, patient, thoughtful actions are often the best, smartest way to do things, rather than swaggering on top of cars with a bullhorn or a flight deck papered with banners.

And it's more than even that, too. Because comparison can't be avoided. Under George W. Bush, America allowed the worst attack on its soil ever, beyond even Pearl Harbor, and for seven years these self-professed "defense experts" couldn't find its mastermind. And yet after only 2-1/2 years, Barack Obama -- a man actually tough on terrorism and national security -- had the leadership to find, plan and kill that very man, Osama bin Laden.

That's quite a streak of days. Yet none were the worst, all mere prelude to the most devastating blow Republicans faced in this Obama Flurry the very next day:

Because following all that, on Monday, Barack Obama appeared with his wife Michelle, on Oprah.

After releasing his birth certificate, after demonstrating the blessing of federal assistance, after warming the nation with his humor, after announcing the end of Osama bin Laden, the president and first lady topped off this remarkable six days by showing the personal grace of a man, a husband, a father and a leader, anointed by the Queen of America.

You almost wonder why he took Thursday off.

Meanwhile, Republicans are still trying to figure out who wants to run. This week, that question became "in which direction?"

 
That sucking sound you've been hearing is Republican presidential hopefuls going down the drain. Professional strength Liquid Plumber couldn't help now. Forget October, we just had the May Surprise.
That sucking sound you've been hearing is Republican presidential hopefuls going down the drain. Professional strength Liquid Plumber couldn't help now. Forget October, we just had the May Surprise.
 
 
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12:54 PM on 05/06/2011
Bravo to the author. I could not do a better job on your assessment of Obama's six days. President Obama is doing a remarkable job and if anyone bothered to look at his record, putting through landmark legislation in the past 2 1/2 years, they would be very surprised that he has already accomplished 90% of what he promised to do when he first got into office.
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Disciple1
To err is human;To disagree with me is ignorant.
12:00 PM on 05/04/2011
Mr. Elisberg, I salute you. What a thoughtful, fully fact-supported article that accurately encapsulates what MUST be the general, dour mood of the Republican party faithful. It is too early for us to announce Mr. Obama's elected ascension to a second term, but it's a "feel good" moment considering all the cr@p this man has endured in the first 2 1/2 years of his presidency.
Layman23
Do we want to live in the past?
10:31 AM on 05/04/2011
"Meanwhile, Republicans are still trying to figure out who wants to run. This week, that question became "in which direction?""

ROTFL ! Well said Sir, Well said.
09:58 AM on 05/04/2011
Maybe, you should apply for a job at the obama re-election organization, and forget about your duty as a fair and balanced journalist. Its is to the people of this country to decide on their own, by objective views from all sides
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Denni
10:58 AM on 05/04/2011
Or he could praise RW candidates and get a job at faux news and pretend to be fair and balanced there. There's a great article about how fn "entertainers" are often WRONG in their predictions - which is not unexpected given the fact that they start with less than stellar material from which they work.
10:58 AM on 05/04/2011
Let me know where you're finding these objective views.
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2lib4oh
10:43 AM on 05/05/2011
The truth has a liberal bias. That's hard for some to swallow.
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Shifu
Train and be ready
09:23 AM on 05/04/2011
Bottom line. 911 happened on Bushes watch. Obama hunted down and killed the mastermind of 911.

You cannot spin that beyond the Limbaugh/Palin/Beck fringe.
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BILLHICKSPINNING
It's just a ride.
12:55 PM on 05/04/2011
Amen!
09:19 AM on 05/04/2011
Before we start assuming that Obama will win re-election we need to remind ourselves that in november 2012 the big issue will be the economy and we cannot predict what is going to happen. As sick and disgusting as the republicans are they are the only alternative within a restrictive two party system and people will turn to them by default should the economy get worse again.
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Prib2009
Expect the worst. You'll never be disappointed.
01:15 PM on 05/04/2011
Pretty much like going back to an abusive husband. The GOP has never been able to govern this country since the days of Eisenhower. I will never understand why people vote for the GOP.
After being a repub. for 34 yrs, I finally saw the party for what it really was in 2000, and it's only gotten worse since then. I wish I had seen the light many years ago because I'm ashamed of having voted for Reagan twice and GH Bush.
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jmac44
File it under GOP just dont give a.....
06:38 PM on 05/04/2011
I think we are looking at a three party system...Democrat...Republican...Tea Party...Hows that working out for everybody?
09:07 AM on 05/04/2011
You may be right in terms of Obama's position in this moment, but remember George H.W. Bush had an 80% popularity after the first Kuwait war, and still lost the next election. I give Obama great credit for getting Osama, but I don't think that alone can carry him forever. And you way overestimate the birther issue-- the vast majority of Republicans are motivated by economic issues.
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nkurland
I'm going to leave this planet alive
09:02 AM on 05/04/2011
I'm just wondering how much further the GOP's popularity will have to tank before their base stops claiming "the American people spoke loud and clear on Nov 2" to cover for their dreadfully unpopular budget proposals.
09:00 AM on 05/04/2011
Which presidential candidate is most likely to get some of our money back, because that’s really what it’s all about, if we all had more money and were living comfortably we wouldn’t care who got elected.
It doesn’t matter what party has our checkbook they both have abused the tax dollars we send them. Remove and replace until they implement term limits on themselves and until we get people we can once again trust.
11:56 AM on 05/04/2011
Campaign finance reform is far more important than term limits. There are some very long-serving congressmen and women who are excellent, savvy legislators. There is no reason to arbitrarily kick them out. The problem is the entrenchment of special interests in the legislative process due to the importance of the almighty $$$ in elections. If all campaigns were publicly financed, candidates could campaign on their true beliefs and address real, huge, pressing matters (e.g. subsidies to oil and agribusiness, failed regulation of finance, bloat in the defense budget) without having to worry about entire industries lining their opponents' campaign coffers with millions upon millions of dollars simply to protect their particular sweetheart deal with the federal government.

Currently, elections are not won or lost based on the issues that average Americans care about - they are framed from the outset and ultimately determined by how candidates address a very few 'hot button' special interest issues. For example, no candidate could run on a platform of cutting defense spending, cutting oil and agribusiness subsidies, returning to the 1940s/50s regulation of finance (total separation of commercial and investment banking) and taxing windfall profits. The money game would be so stacked against them from the very outset that their opponent could be Alvin Green and they would still lose. Politicians are entirely barred from even placing these issues on the table, because big money players have made them political poison. Removing this influence from our process is the key.
07:16 AM on 05/05/2011
very well said!
10:16 AM on 05/05/2011
Campaign reform vs. term limits is not something that we need to argue over let’s suffice to say they both should be implemented. I believe as you that there are some good representatives unfortunately I also believe that the majority of Americans are not interested in researching their candidates they simply vote along party lines or for other inconsequential reasons. So to lose a few good in order to replace the majority that no longer truly represent us may be collateral damage.
I don’t want to see campaigns publicly financed (I’m paying enough in taxes now), let them all collect a few million dollars from wherever they can (make contributions public) and set a limit for all.
Republicans and Democrats are never going to agree on all the issues so maybe we should be able to go to the polls more often to vote on some of these issues ourselves and let the chips fall where they may.
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08:10 AM on 05/04/2011
Robert J. Elisberg nice article to the point MO.
02:32 AM on 05/04/2011
*I* think the man's the right person for the job for another term; and *you* might think the man's the right person for the job for another term, but let's not get over-confident--witness what happened in the midterms. Never underestimate the stupidity of the voting public (um, can we say shrub was elected not once, but twice? yes, even if his first term was appointed, rather than elected, he got enough of the electoral vote to even make the case to the SCOTUS). The Repubs do need to come up w/a viable candidate, but as *they* are truly the masters of group-think and group-speak (and not us), I won't be surprised when that candidate very quickly becomes major competition. Right now it seems like a joke, but by next year, we won't be laughing too hard--mark my words.
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wwilcox
Laws are made by men.
01:04 AM on 05/04/2011
I am still waiting for "But how do we know if the body was dumped! And if Michelle Bachmann isn't Canadian, why won't she release her birth certificate?" Just sayin'.
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Annieke
Rules are not necessarily sacred, principles are.
02:42 AM on 05/04/2011
I laughed so hard..." You see Michelle...this is how it starts".

The speech of the president was simply hilarious.

" The Donald" wasn't too pleased about it and he even left during the jokes of Seth Myer. A guy without a sense of humor and the ability to laugh about himself, is a guy I don't trust.
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AG creative
Ba Gawk!
04:07 AM on 05/04/2011
Strangely though, she does kind of look - Canadian.
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jmac44
File it under GOP just dont give a.....
07:42 PM on 05/04/2011
Yes, I was thinking the same thing. I heard that before. Why doesnt she show her birth certificate. Maybe she is just a mouthpiece and will not run because she knows she cannt produce her birth certificate...
12:44 AM on 05/04/2011
Well said. It is an astonishing accomplishment to put the Osama Bin Laden issue to final closure. One would think that the National CORPORATE Republican Party would wish to really represent themselves better than they have. I find it very strange that with the unemployment issue center stage that not a single National CORPORATE Republican candidate could come up with a plan to reinvent American jobs yet have all the time in the world to discredit, obstruct, and insult our President Obama. It makes one really think about what they are not doing. Does any one know?
lewisfowler
strategy and life are one.
11:45 PM on 05/03/2011
A mid-term Rope-a-Dope for sure. But I also see it as a devastating first round knockdown with a new fight strategy; Hope-a-Dope. I think these weeks are the attention grabbing stage of a campaign timed to build momentum for 2012. There are other crescendos in this build up; like the budget fight and dare I say, control of the House.

Obama is the master communicator of hope and even with economically struggling voters, Obama is going to grab the show and sell voters on guess what...hope…again. Unemployed or economically frightened voters, including million-billionaires will be focused on…viable hope…real hope…sustainable hope…hope that generates revenue.

Obama will win the budget battle. His style of the bully pulpit is finally being utilized as a tactic. The Republicans made it convenient. The 15 second highlight, for voters that have a 20 second attention span. Highlighting Republican distraction and grabbing the attention is easy when distraction is all Republicans offer. Paul Ryan is up next, he’s the figurehead of hopelessness. Ryan and Republicans offer austerity, sacrifice and a vanishing government safety net. With the hope of more hopelessness. Not a hopeful agenda.

Beyond an unviable Presidential candidate, I see a fracturing of Congressional Republicans and guess what, a fracturing of the Tea Party. There’s no hope.
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01:14 AM on 05/04/2011
obama will win the budget battle? are you lucid? Obama has destroyed the budget in 2 short years. you do realize one of the first things he did was support a 20% increase in the federal budget?

I'm a fan of fantasy sport leagues. After reading your analysis, I think there is a place for fantasy political leagues. Cheers!
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Annieke
Rules are not necessarily sacred, principles are.
02:45 AM on 05/04/2011
"Obama has destroyed the budget"

No, that was Bush who started two wars without the proper funding. Who spend billions of dollars on rebuilding Iraq while the US was crumbling.

At least the money of the stimulus bill will be spend on improving the US (infrastructure, schools, VA-hospitals) and not the infrastructure in Iraq.
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BCubedReg
Everything is possible
05:00 AM on 05/04/2011
Wrong.

The 20% increase to the budget you cite is the supplemental appropriations the Bush administration left out of the DoD budget to pay for the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan (roughly $220-270 Million per annum). Because they were supplemental appropriations they are not included in budget calculations understating the true cost of the Bush years. Pres. Obama included these cost in the budget to accurately reflect government outlays in each fiscal year. Republicans used smoke and mirrors to hide the devastation they wrought on the U.S. economy.

I know... I'm a DoD comptroller.
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rastadaddio
none but ourselves can free our minds
10:41 PM on 05/03/2011
all true. he's the right man for a tough job. and he's doing it with real class.