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Robert J. Elisberg Headshot

Rush Limbaugh is a Little Slim Smart Man

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Yes, yes, we know that Al Franken satirically called his book, Rush Limbaugh is a Big Fat Idiot. But to be fair, and given how upset all of Mr. Limbaugh's discerning, insightful listeners are, it is only a kindness to them and their love of America that one should only speak warmly of their favoritest talk show host ever.

Especially since yesterday he showed again how totally-blind tunnel vision makes one miss not only the big picture, but the stick drawings, as well. And therefore needs all the help he can get.

As the Democratic National Committee and Obama representatives prepare to hold open meetings across the country in an effort to give a frank airing to the party goals, noble Rush Limbaugh -- proud and good American -- told his faithful flock his nifty plan to muck up that exercise in democracy.

"You will be allowed to sit in the same room as elitist Democrat operatives to craft the Democrat party platform," Limbaugh commented. "In coming days, we will tell you exactly how you can participate in writing the Democrat party platform, at the request of the Most Merciful Lord Barack Obama."

Now, first of all, I must admit that's pretty darn nice of Rush Limbaugh to say such an amazing thing about Barack Obama. While many think highly of the senator from Illinois, Mr. Limbaugh's characterization of him as "the Most Merciful Lord"...boy, howdy, that's high praise indeed!! Sure, some on the Religious Far Right might be a little peeved that it's sacrilegious. But I suspect that given the Sermon is coming from the Mount himself, then it's probably okay.

Unfortunately, though, the actual point of his ill-thought-out 'plan' isn't as effective. You see, on the one hand, Mr. Limbaugh is directing his minions to go to all these open Democratic meetings, specifically because the meetings are open and democratic and will allow anyone the right to speak their mind and own opinion. (Something which presumes they have a mind and their own opinions.) But then, in the same breath, he makes his fatal gaff, calling those who've opened up the meetings to everyone, "elitist."

That's the problem. See, the very reason his adherents can even be at the meetings in the first place is because they are egalitarian -- which by definition is the exact opposite of "elitist." So, not only does Rush Limbaugh risk confusing his mass of now-bewildered disciples, but worse he's getting them to participate in the tsunami wave of openness that is the heart of the Obama drive. Indeed, it's the very thing that got Barack Obama elevated to his position of Most Merciful Lord.

And unfortunately for Rush Limbaugh, it's this same, totally-blind tunnel vision that got him and his followers into the backpedaling muck-up they're all in right now.

Limbaugh's frolicsome "plan," whimsically-named, "Operation Chaos," was akin to Elmer Fudd trying to catch that wascally wabbit -- a misguided attempt to get his loyally-patriotic, lovers of America to screw up the democratic process, and it backfired bigtime. (Gee, how could trying to get "loyally-patriotic, lovers of America" to screw up the democratic process not work?? It seems such a natural in concept. Go figure.)

But backfire it did. The goal was to get his devotees to vote for Hillary Clinton during the primaries, which would deviously lengthen the primary season for Democrats and get the two candidates to deviously pummel each other.

It's a "plan" worthy of the Bush administration preparing for Iraq. Here's the problem:

To start with, getting Republicans to vote for Hillary Clinton is a little like giving someone crack cocaine for free, just to try it. "Hey, this voting for Hillary Clinton isn't half bad," they'd think. "I'm okay, I feel good. Empowered." And then you got them. They're hooked.

But far worse, while all the goals of "Operation Chaos" worked...they worked to the Democrats' advantage! Yes, the Democratic primary season was elongated -- but all that did was get Democrats out in force for extra months registering new members to the party -- all the while keeping Obama and Clinton in the headlines and John McCain out of the news. And secondly, while those two Democrats did engage in tough campaigning against each other -- it toughened Obama like nothing ever had before, and brought out issues that would be unusable old news should Republicans ever hope to address them four months later.

And the result of all this "Chaos"? Barack Obama still won, and several polls have him leading John McCain by up to 15 points.

Way to go, Rush Limbaugh. And now you want your devotees to participate in open democracy and voice their opinions at Democratic meetings across the country??? Be careful what you wish for, you just might get it. Again.

If Rush Limbaugh thinks that having oceans of secret-Limbaughnians standing up at Democratic issue meetings and proclaiming that "Our Democratic Party should stand for staying the course in Iraq, no abortions, a gun in every lunch box, teaching Intelligent Design in science classes and cutting taxes for the wealthy" is going to a) fool anyone, and b) suddenly make the Democratic Party and the Obama campaign go, "Oh, m'god, like, I had no idea that Democrats actually felt that way, and we should change our platform to support all of those things"...then Rush Limbaugh is a -

- Hey! Maybe Al Franken was right after all!