An American Puzzle

Note: I found this one page on the sidewalk outside the Chinese Embassy in Washington. I can't vouch for its authenticity-RK:

TRANSLATION: MANDARIN TO ENGLISH
From: Geng Huichang, Ministry of State Security
To: Zhou Wenzhong, Chinese Ambassador to the United States
Re: Request for evaluation of PALIN, SARAH

Security Classification: Eyes Only

Executive Summary

Most Excellent Comrade Ambassador!

The intelligence service has been requested to research why Republicans chose this peasant woman to be mate of John McCain. We most humbly apologize, but this nomination seems to make no sense. Our intelligence analysts are divided, but here are main hypotheses:

1. Old McCain venerable and weak, may die in office. Clique that runs Republican Party (see "Wingnut Operatives, Appendix II") prevailed in factional split over moderates who selected McCain. Subject PALIN is being groomed by religious extremists to become president (See report on Falun Gong, Appendix III). Subject PALIN is member of fundamentalist cult that rejects science. We need to be alert to takeover of US by religious extremists. Poisoning of McCain cannot be ruled out.

2. Subject PALIN claims to be "traditional values" mother, yet left large family of young children to be governor. Teaches sexual abstinence, yet teen daughter is with child, resulting from illicit sexual conduct. We suspect that this is all ploy to test hypocrisy and double-standard loyalty of her allies among said religious extremists.

3. Subject PALIN never had passport until 2007. This is not possible. Unimaginable in People's Republic. We cannot rule out possibility that CIA kept her in deep cover until opportune moment. (See synopsis of film: "The American Candidate," Appendix IV.) A majority of our team believes she cannot be as poorly informed about world affairs as she seems. Example: subject PALIN pretended clumsily that she did not know meaning of Bush Doctrine. Ploy suspected. May be secretly dangerous woman of extreme intelligence.

4. Implications for economic development of People's Republic. Subject PALIN shoots wild animals from airplanes, favors oil drilling, and opposes conservation efforts. This could also be ploy. Some of our analysts believe she must be pretending, given seriousness of polar melt in Alaska. But if true, her influence will reduce pressure on People's Republic to deal with extreme air and water pollution. Ha-ha.

5. Majority of team agrees on one conclusion: Subject PALIN so completely unqualified for position that other conspiracy must be at work. Could be smart lady and deliberate deception; or could be dupe for true power elite. Either way, although Bush dynasty leaving office, PALIN selection suggests that military industrial complex continues to run United States (See Appendix V: Cheney, Halliburton, ExxonMobil; and Appendix VI: Executive Committee of Ruling Class.)

6. Americans extremely clever, whole nomination is American puzzle. In American Republican Party, things are never as they seem.

****

Robert Kuttner, co-editor of The American Prospect and Distinguished Senior Fellow at Demos, has just published Obama's Challenge: America's Economic Crisis and the Power of a Transformative Presidency (Chelsea Green). He is blogging daily about the election and the economic crisis at www.obamaschallenge.com.

Comments

[mommadona]

I've said before, if McCain is elected, he better hire a food tester.

I think your little 'paper' has it about right.

Now, who ARE those rightwingnut 'sugar daddies'?

[boophus]

It isn't necessary. If McCains elected we will in all probability have Palin as President. Why because McCain has had multiple bouts with Melanoma which is a cancer that has a high probability of spreading. It will sadly cause him to probably lose his faculties or die within 5 years. Twenty-two percent of Americans 71 and older are affected by mild cognitive impairment, a decline in brain function that causes memory loss and can lead to dementia. Further, 35 to 40 percent of older adults have neural deficits that lead to poor decision making. "Male life expectancy hit a record 75.2 in 2004, the federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention recently announced."

I am appalled by Palin .Her experience may be good enough if one longs for armageddon and the 'end times'. But how can her "experience" matter if it is not based on a depth of knowledge on the issues facing us? At least Obama / Biden and other party nominees start out educated and knowledgeable, this woman is proud of her "willful ignorance" and seems to lie like some breathe.

The fact is that McCain is 72 years old and has had cancer. His choice for vice-president is someone who was not even prepared to meet the media, let alone be president on a moment's notice. I do not think he put his country first, and I question his judgment. This is a legitimate question we should be asking.

[JohnnyBoyyy]

Robert, Robert, Robert, I JUST became a fan of you 2 days ago and now I see a different side of you that makes me wonder if I made the right decision. I have been a VERY big supporter of Mr. Obama since the begining of the Democratic Primaries. I spend a large amount of time on-line to find the information from sites like The Huffington Post that convinces me that Mr. Obama and Mr. Biden are the ONLY choice this election to rescue America.

But, I feel that references about Mr. McSame's possible death in office or the chance of him being poisoned by religious extremists are not the kind of story we need to be telling. I know your blog was qualified at the first of the article as being a page you found on the sidewalk outside the Chinese Embassy in Washington. Not being a professional writer, I know my thoughts may seem a little uninformed and/or childish. But, would a note from you in the story stating that you feel these statements about his possible death in office do not reflect your opinions?

Thanks for your time if you read this, Mr. Kuttner.

Johnny


This is OUR Time - This is OUR Moment.

Obama/Biden '08/12!!!

[Bushfire]

This choice makes sense if the following are true:
(1) McCain wants to be assassinat­ion/impeac­hment proof by having a hockey mom next in line for President.
(2) McCain knows that he will be elected with the help of massive election irregularities that create an uproar.
(3) McCain knows he is the last hope of Republican operatives who may be exposed by a democratic White House.

[Jacksbloodyface]

Way to put Hannity in his place, he needs that way more often. Or to just have his show taken away...

[Jacksbloodyface]

Way to lay the whoopass on Hannity. He really needed a good spanking.

[sonshine]

This is awesome! And the way that jerk Hannity treated you the other day on his "show" was despicable. You showed great restraint by not knocking his block head off.

Soleir on with the truth, sir.