Jesus Thieves Convene for McCain

Many of the nation's leading Jesus Thieves convened in Denver last Tuesday to work towards uniting behind the presidential candidacy of Sen. John McCain, a man who used to have the courage to denounce such charlatans.

In a gathering reminiscent of the 1957 organized crime summit in Apalachin, New York, some ninety major figures in the rightwing conspiracy to kidnap Jesus and commit identity theft against him gathered in the city where Democrats will nominate Sen. Barack Obama in late August.

Among those in attendance was Tim LaHaye, the No. 4 man on Jesus' Ten Most Unwanted List, which I have compiled in my new book, Grand Theft Jesus: The Hijacking of Religion in America. LaHaye is the co-author of a series of books that have Left Jesus Behind and promote the greater gory of Christ.

Other prominent Jesus Enemies at the Denver sit-down included David Barton, founder of WallBuilders, Rick Scarborough of Vision America and Eagle Forum headmistress Phyllis Schlafly.

Dr. James Dobson, don of the Focus Family and No. 3 on Jesus' Enemies List, was not in attendance, but he was represented by one of his capos.

"Our shared core values compel us to unite and choose the presidential candidate that best advances those values," said the Liberty Council's Matthew Staver, who convened the meeting. Unfortunately, those shared core values are in fact value$ and are, on several points, diametrically opposed to the teachings of Jesus.

The attendees signed a letter urging McCain to consider former Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee as his running mate. They were careful, however, to characterize their call for putting Huckabee on the ticket a "suggestion, not a demand."

Interestingly, this is the same way they see the teachings of Jesus: "The Suggestions on the Mount."

Some of these pushers of the drug ChristianityLite (Be saved without sacrifice or good works), who loudly say "Jee-SUSS!" so they won't have to do Jesus, are not all that enthusiastic about Huckabee, though. The AP report on the Denver meeting noted that some of them "dislike his populist message, emphasis on the environment and [his] economic positions."

In short, they don't like Huckabee on precisely those issues where he actually heeds the teachings of Jesus -- and suggests policies that might help the least of these and cut into the profits of the money-changers.

Phil Burress, one of those at the Denver meeting, said that the most important thing is that McCain's running mate be "pro-life and pro-family." Those are, of course, code words for being anti-abortion and anti-gay.

"The only evangelicals that will support Obama are the ones who haven't read their Bible," proclaimed Burress.

These Jesus Thieves must be reading a different Bible from the one I have. In mine, Jesus never mentions abortion or homosexuality. He does, however, talk about loving your enemies, turning the other cheek, helping the poor, and how difficult it is for a rich man to enter heaven.

When it comes to the red lines in the Bible -- the words of Jesus -- these leaders of the "Christian Right" read between the lines and leave the red lines unread.

"Obama is a considerable threat to our values," Staver argued. Jesus Followers can only hope he is right, since the value$ of this gang are almost 180 degrees from those Jesus preached.

Wherever two or more of them are gathered falsely in his name, there is hate.

{Historian Robert S. McElvaine is Elizabeth Chisholm Professor of Arts & Letters at Millsaps College. His latest book is Grand Theft Jesus: The Hijacking of Religion in America , upon which this piece is partially based.}

Comments

[blaqntelligence]

I'd also like to know where in the Bible true Christians were involved in politics or public policy?
These so-called christians, hagee, parsley and all the other pompous asses who have turned God into their own personal hitman, remind me of the pharisees.
If one want to know if the "christian right" is really right, read the Bible for yourselves.

[DRaymond]

Of course the old-school evangelicals are going to endorse McCain. What other choice do they have?

The real question is how enthusiastically will they support him.

The real genius of the 2004 election is how they used the laity in the church (with the look the other way support of the pastors) into a multilevel marketing organization, where someone in the church would mail into the Bush campaign the church roster. They would then see who the most influential persons in the parish were (which is easy to see, they are the volunteers running significant programs). Those most influential parish members (not staff, which might endanger tax-exampt status) were recruited to talk up the campaign with their fellow parishioners and recruit a dozen sub-organizers, who were instructed to recruit a dozen sub-sub organizers, and so forth. Next thing you know, even though the pastor can still say 'We have done absolutely no politicing' the entire church is one big republican campaign organization and anybody not professing their support for Bush is being made to feel like a gay-loving baby-killer.

So will the old-time evangelicals endorse McCain? Sure. Will they do that level of effort for him? I doubt it.

[magen]

Jesus-please save us from your followers.

[Clevelanded]

It is funny how all of these pro-life, pro-family morons don't give a damn about a child's welfare after birth.

[meanguy]

and it's funny how these children have to damn near enroll themselves in kindergarten before the left will allow them to graduate from 'clump of cells' to 'living beings'...

[drblack]

Superstition is a dangerous and ineffectual replacement for Empirical Reasoning and should NEVER be used to make any Public Policy.

[drblack]

"Pro-Life" and "Pro-Family" Republicans are often the people who are gay or have pregnant girlfriends.

[UVRayburn]

At least least Jesus blessed America with an easy way to determine the fake Christians from the real Christians. A real Christian would never have voted for Bush or any Republican.

[Gma11]

I know many REAL Christians who voted for Bush. Good, good people who live their faith. I agree with the author here about the "Christians" he named, but that is no excuse for religious bigotry.

[jw]

If real Christians voted for Bush, they must be really poor judges of character

[BADEN]

"Jesus Thieves". I love it.

Time to throw those money merchants OUT of the temple.

http://www.sullivan-county.com/news/pat_quotes/pat_horse.htm

[SiberianRat]

Yep!! I'm repulsed by the way the teachings of the Prince of Peace have been distorted. I've rejected Christianity altogether, but I'd consider myself a Jesus fan. He was a liberal among liberals, and these right-wing whackos have done to Christianity what bin Laden has done to Islam--perverted it and brainwashed many. I've been wondering when the day would come that people would wake up--is it now?? Yep, "Jesus Thieves" is a perfect name for these haters.

[meanguy]

i'm not sure what makes me more nauseous...the far right hijacking Christ for their political cause, or the far left doing the same thing. a pox on both your houses! anyone who peddles that tired old 'Jesus agreed with my politics' manure has not got the first idea who Christ is. Christ is far above and beyond our stupid little juvenile political peeing contests...someone like an obama or a mccain or a clinton or a bush or a huffington or a limbaugh wants 'fans'...Christ didn't say 'take up your autograph book and admire me', He said "take up your cross and follow Me'...i'm tired of people who talk a lot of smack about how they think Christ was 'just the greatest guy, really He was', but reject His message and His teachings. not to single out anyone in particular, there's a LOT of it going around

[rosal]

The religious$ Jesus "followers". Pro-life, except if it entails war$ for oil and profit. I truly feel sorry for the people that think this "Christians" are the real thing. As I read on a friend's bumper sticker: The Christian right is neither

[lew]

I saw one last week that said "Keep your Theology off my biology". I guess they don't believe in intelligent design. I guess the slogan 'What would Jesus do?' is not used by the religious right in their decision making. They usually follow the Wall Street version of the Golden Rule ,' He who has the Gold makes the Rules.' All of the people mentioned in the article have gotten rich off Jesus Christ and he was a liberal who hated the money changers.

[booksnmore4you]

Whoa, now THAT'S over the top!

[paixa3]

An excellent poste. Christianity for many in the USA is the OPPOSITE of what Jesus preached. To them, if you believe he is the messiah, that is ALL you need. Unfortunately, many do not want to actually follow Jesus because it would force them to change their life styles. Exactly what Jesus would expect.