THE BLOG

Divorce Makeover-Operation You!

01/12/2011 03:24 am ET | Updated May 25, 2011

Whether the ink from your divorce papers have recently dried or you have just decided to leave your spouse, you are about to embark on a new phase of your life. Usually, this is a tumultuous time marked by upheaval and depression. It doesn't have to be, you can use it as an excuse to make yourself better! This is the perfect time to shed less attractive characteristics and discover all of the factors that make you wonderful. Chances are you are going through or have had a rough time, and it is now necessary to become a bit selfish and worry about you.

The long and short term objectives are the following;

1) Normalize your life

2) Regain self-confidence

3) Re-Discover yourself (who you are). You are no longer part of a "couple."

4) Re-Enter the single world

5) Begin this new phase of your life happily and successfully

The goal here is to make yourself stronger physically and mentally now that you are on your own. You must recognize and embrace those traits that make you special and learn to showcase them. This is not a quick fix or shortcut, instead it is a guide to better your personal package inside and out.

Mental Strengthening

1) Assemble a team of reliable friends and family to provide guidance and support. Choose individuals who value and energize you and are positive and truly listen to you. It is important to be comfortable enough to open up to this group without worrying about being judged or criticized. A support team is invaluable to help you get through the tough times. Do not try to do this alone! You will need their support in all aspects during this transformation. If necessary, seek out a professional psychological health care professional. There is no need to be embarrassed, and the assistance can be invaluable. http://www.divorce-and-child.com/blogs/divorce/archive/2009/03/05/divorce-mediation-and-therapy.aspx

2) Learn to meditate and take up yoga. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yoga
These disciplines promote mental fortitude and help to build psychological toughness and confidence. Meditation is a proven stress buster and yoga increases personal awareness.

3) Discover and embrace an outlet that allows you to reduce stress. It can be anything from a run in the park to a long hot bath. The key is knowing that you have an activity to rely on when things get crazy and you need to blow off steam. http://www.helpguide.org/mental/stress_relief_meditation_yoga_relaxation.htm

Physical Improvements

1) Diet and Exercise

I fully understand that this is the hard part, but I cannot over-emphasize the importance of becoming fit and eating well during this time of stress and uncertainty. Do not simply "promise yourself" that you will eat better or exercise more. Select an exercise plan and a realistic diet that are sensible so you will stick with them and succeed. Choose a practical goal, like losing 10 pounds or toning your arms and legs, and also select a timetable, three months for example. Having clear-cut goals to shoot for allows you to concentrate on the task at hand. Avoid fad diets or "fasting and cleansing", as benefits are minimal and brief. There are numerous smart phone applications (Lose It, FoodScanner, Calorie Counter) that allow you to monitor all the foods that you eat with caloric values and also program your diet. If you cannot tackle the diet alone, seek out a professional nutritionist or join Weight Watchers or Jenny Craig. Work with a personal trainer for at least three months and ask a friend to participate with you. This will lower your costs for the trainer and working out with a partner who depends on your presence decreases the chances that you will cancel your workout sessions. If you become discouraged, seek out your support team to help keep you going. Once you start losing weight or become more fit, you will look better and subsequently feel better. http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m0846/is_2_23/ai_108112409/

2) Change your hairstyle or color of your hair or both! http://www.ehow.com/how_6009954_improve-woman_s-hair-style.html
This is the best time to make a radical change and when done properly, can be as effective as a facelift! Carefully choose hair professionals that will do the job right. Consult with friends for recommendations.

3) Reevaluate your skin care and makeup routine. http://www.suite101.com/content/has-your-makeup-bag-expired-a72846
Consult with a plastic surgeon or dermatologist to be certain that your complexion is looking as good as it can be. Often, minor procedures such as chemical peels or minimally invasive laser procedures can do wonders. Seek out more invasive and expensive cosmetic surgery procedures only if you can afford them and you truly need them!

4) Reward yourself! At some point during this journey, reward your hard work with a relaxing day at a health spa, or buy yourself a new outfit or a night on the town. Get a massage, have a facial, or any other treatment to pamper you. You are working hard and a day of pampering will help you endure and carry on.

I realize that some of the tasks that I have presented may be daunting and expensive. However, consider it an investment in yourself and the final product, a better and happier you, is certainly worth it. Remember, there is no better revenge for your "Ex" than looking and feeling fit, healthy, sexy, confident and happy!