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Robert Weiss
Robert Weiss LCSW, CSAT-S, is Senior Vice President of Clinical Development with Elements Behavioral Health, where he has created sex addiction programs at The Ranch treatment center in Tennessee and a women's substance abuse and intimacy disorders program at The Right Step drug rehab in Texas. As a well-known expert on the relationship between digital technology and human sexuality, he has served as a media specialist for CNN, The Oprah Winfrey Network, the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, and the Today Show, among others. For more information, visit his website.

Entries by Robert Weiss

Are You a Player Or Sex Addict?

(0) Comments | Posted July 25, 2016 | 5:29 PM

Sexual addiction can be hard to recognize, particularly in a culture where sex and sexual innuendo are used to sell everything from cheeseburgers to luxury vacations. Not to mention all the sexy selfies on social media, dating sites, and elsewhere. In some ways, a sex addict walking around in today's...

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Life and Death In The Gay Community

(0) Comments | Posted July 6, 2016 | 4:59 PM

I am a therapist specializing in addiction and intimacy disorders. Grief is not my specialty. Yet as a gay man of a certain age the grieving process is, by necessity, an area of personal (if not professional) expertise. I am also, in addition to my clinical work, a writer. I...

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Make More Money, Get Less Validation?

(0) Comments | Posted June 15, 2016 | 9:56 AM

Over the years, I've heard a number of highly employed (senior management and up) clients, friends, and (occasionally) coworkers complain about the lack of validation they get at work. It seems that senior managers are told, often repeatedly, about the need to give positive feedback to those in their charge....

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Questioning a Friendship: Seven Important Considerations

(0) Comments | Posted May 17, 2016 | 10:43 AM

As a psychotherapist specializing in intimacy issues, I continually hear clients questioning the relationships in their lives--not just romantic connections but friendships, family ties, and sometimes even casual acquaintanceships. Typically, I tell these clients that no relationship is perfect. No person or situation can or will live up to your...

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Infidelity: What If You Love Them Both?

(1) Comments | Posted May 5, 2016 | 2:40 PM

If you've been having a long-term affair and your spouse just found out, you may be facing an angry ultimatum, probably something like, "It's me or him/her." If so, you're probably having one of four basic reactions:

  1. You realize how much you love and value your spouse, and how...
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Forget What You've Heard: This Is Your Brain on Drugs

(0) Comments | Posted April 19, 2016 | 3:51 PM

In the late-1980s, the Partnership for a Drug-Free America ran a series of public service ads. In their most well-known ad a man holds up an egg and says, "This is your brain." Then he points to a hot frying pan and says, "This is drugs." Then he...

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If I Understand Why I'm an Addict, Maybe It Will Go Away...

(0) Comments | Posted April 2, 2016 | 12:07 PM

Addicts new to recovery typically enter treatment motivated by their current crisis and a desire to escape their actual and potential consequences (rather than a desire to change their behaviors and live differently moving forward). And instead of being focused on the day-to-day solutions that might help them stay sober,...

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Monogamish: Is It Cheating If We Agree on It First?

(3) Comments | Posted February 29, 2016 | 1:06 PM

The Urban Dictionary defines monogamish as "a relationship that is mostly monogamous, but occasionally exceptions are made for sexual play," as in, "My boyfriend and I are monogamish, so it's cool if you want to make out with me." What the Urban Dictionary doesn't tell us is that...

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All About Porn-Induced Erectile Dysfunction

(1) Comments | Posted February 12, 2016 | 4:32 PM

Jason is a 19-year-old college student. He's been dating the same girl since his sophomore year of high school. They had sex for the first time after their senior prom, and, according to Jason, they "went at it like rabbits" for the entire summer until they went away to different...

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Healing Addictions: Does Getting High Equal to Getting Hooked?

(0) Comments | Posted February 10, 2016 | 2:46 PM

For decades, scientists believed that addictions were driven by the pleasurable effects of the substance/behavior in question - that addicts compulsively seek the enjoyable "addictive effects" that make life fun, fun, and more fun. It was thought that addicted individuals become unduly tied to this pleasure train, seeking the feeling...

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Sexting: A New Cultural Norm

(0) Comments | Posted December 16, 2015 | 3:52 PM

John and Jane, both pursuing a PhD, met eighteen months ago at a party thrown by a mutual friend. They exchanged names and numbers, friended one another on social media, flirted a bit online and via text, and eventually decided to go on a date. Rather quickly, they found they...
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Digi-Dating, Digi-Sex, Digi-Love

(1) Comments | Posted October 23, 2015 | 4:44 PM

1985: Marian, an unmarried 25-year-old resident of Chicago, felt lonely one evening. Hoping to meet Mr. Right (or at least Mr. Right Now), she showered, did her hair, put on makeup and slipped into her slinky black dress. Then she walked downstairs from her second-floor apartment, hailed a cab, and...
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Cheaters in Digital World Seeking One of Two Things

(0) Comments | Posted October 14, 2015 | 11:52 AM

It is generally believed that between 10 percent and 20 percent of men and women in supposedly monogamous long-term relationships (such as marriage) do not uphold their vow of fidelity, choosing instead to seek a bit of extracurricular sexual and/or romantic satisfaction elsewhere. In other words, they cheat. This fact...

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The Ashley Madison Hack: Everybody Loses

(2) Comments | Posted August 28, 2015 | 9:07 AM

I have created a help page with information, referrals, and support for those affected by the AM hack. To access this free webpage, click here.

So much for the last half of August being a slow news cycle. Between Jared Fogle (Subway), Josh Duggar...

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Sex by Wi-Fi: The New Frontier

(0) Comments | Posted August 13, 2015 | 5:47 PM

The most recent issue of Vanity Fair presents an exposé on the "adult friend finder" app, Tinder. And the picture painted by writer Nancy Jo Sales is not flattering. Essentially, through a series of vignettes set in bars and other millennial generation hangouts, Tinder and similar apps are...

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Online Infidelity Hack Raises National Cheater Anxiety

(2) Comments | Posted July 28, 2015 | 12:50 AM

Last week it was announced via KrebsOnSecurity that Ashley Madison, a website/app that helps married people cheat on their spouses, was compromised, with hackers threatening to systematically release the names, passwords, profiles and credit card information of AM's 37.5 million members unless the site permanently shuts down. The...

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Sex, Gaming, and the Virtual Horizon

(0) Comments | Posted July 21, 2015 | 12:36 PM

I'm not a gamer. It's just not my thing. Yes, I enjoyed Pong, Pac-Man, Frogger, Space Invaders, and even Donkey Kong way back in the Commodore 64 Stone Age (the 1980s), and yes, I may line up this month to see the new Pixels movie. But...

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Gay Marriage Is Here -- Tell Us What We've Won

(0) Comments | Posted June 30, 2015 | 11:15 AM

Once upon a time, same-sex couples had no legal rights. We could not get married, nor could we enjoy the many legal and financial benefits of that institution -- making medical decisions for our ailing partners, filing our taxes jointly, sharing in Social Security benefits, etc. In the eyes of...

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Beyond Grindr: Matchmaking in the Gay Marriage Era

(0) Comments | Posted June 26, 2015 | 12:46 PM

Once upon a time, gay men had few options for meeting, hooking up and dating. We could frequent gay bars, bathhouses, the men's room in the basement of a local department store, highway rest stops, the steam room at the gym, certain notorious parks, and that was about it.

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Were You Born to Cheat?

(2) Comments | Posted June 25, 2015 | 6:13 PM

Research on infidelity consistently suggests that about 15 percent to 20 percent of American adults, male and female alike, engage in sexual infidelity at least occasionally. Men who cheat are often lauded for their sexual conquests, referred to as "studs" and "players" by their friends. Meanwhile, women who...

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