We Gotta Start Talking About Sexual Assault

Whenever I tell people that I am a sex crimes prosecutor, people say, "Eeewww, how can you do that?" And while I can understand that spending one's day talking to kids about the most invasive abuse on their private parts can seem uncomfortable, it shouldn't give people the heebie-jeebies.

As a society, we can talk about all kinds of crimes, including murderers, gangs, and domestic violence, with no problem. We don't think twice about preparing kids about what to do in a fire, earthquake, or tornado. We observe and discuss how the media over-sexualizes teenagers. We go to the movies and laugh at slapstick, dark, and inappropriate humor; we even watch horror and thriller movies with a sense of enjoyment. As to CSI, Law and Order--piece of cake! And we barely flinch at Dr. 90210 as he works away at the human body in search of perfection.

Yet despite all of this, people are constantly telling me they are scared to talk to their kids or even each other about protecting ourselves and our children from sexual abuse. Well, it's time. Just as it was time about 10 years ago to make breast cancer a focus of national concern, it is time for us to feel just as comfortable talking about keeping our bodies and those of our children safe.

The first thing we must do is acknowledge that yes, there is an epidemic of sexual abuse in our society. And even if you don't buy into the statistics put out by organizations or even the government, I can tell you from my own caseload, working in the trenches of Los Angeles County, that sexual assault is rampant. It is rampant amongst whites, blacks, Hispanics, men, women, children, and crosses all socio-economic boundaries. And while we may prefer to think that sexual abuse occurs in dark alleys by random strangers, the fact is that at least 85% (if not more) is perpetrated by someone the victim knows.

We have to recognize that there is an issue--a massive one!--and start talking about it. As soon as we have conversations with each other and our kids, we will be able to do more to prevent it, as well as help victims to come forward and make their way towards short-term healing and long-term survival.

Comments

[Lisa R Cohen]

09:55 AM on 06/16/2009

Last night I saw a screening of Libby Spears powerful documentary "PLAYGROUND" about youth sex trafficking in the U.S. which argues that underage prostitutes are as sexually abused as any other minor, but that they are not regarded as such by society. It documented one girl who was inducted into the biz at five - after being brutally raped by her mother's friend ("I don't remember his face during it, I must have stared at the ceiling") it's pretty hard to imagine going anywhere else but down from there.

For her, it was about the drugs - her mother was a meth head, and was probably pimping her out. How can anyone blame that victim.

An important topic - thanks for talking about it Robin!

[JohnPettitt]

07:10 PM on 06/15/2009

How about we start talking about sex in general? If we had good sex education and weren't so terrified of the whole subject people would be more likely to speak up about sexual assaults. Unfortunately much of the problem originates in prosecutors offices where consensual behaviors (BDSM, swinging to name two) become targets of opportunity driving legal behavior underground and making it harder to speak up when the lines is crossed into illegal behavior.

John Pettitt
Publisher CarnalNation http://carnalnation.com

[dexxjones]

09:33 AM on 06/14/2009

yes why dont we start talking about sexual assault. the biggest cause of sexual assault (besides the constant public humoring of religion) is this idiot drug war. more people are sexually assaulted in our correction institutions than anywhere.