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Robin Hoffman
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Robin Hoffman is a writer, mom, small business owner, and lover of all things fried. Follow her most recent musings on Twitter @robinhoffman123 or www.robinhoffmanblog.com.

Entries by Robin Hoffman

Look Out, I'm Hugging

(4) Comments | Posted January 29, 2015 | 9:36 AM

Thirteen years old in all my gangly, pimply glory walking onto the beach 15 minutes down the road from my grandmom's Century Village condo -- the army barracks of senior citizen living in the 70s. Usually we'd get to the beach so early we'd have our pick of spots, but...

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Raising a Generation of Dead-Eyed Dot-Fillers

(0) Comments | Posted December 18, 2014 | 10:05 AM

While the last time I saw her was in front of a blackboard in 1981, I can vividly imagine the reaction of my 10th grade English teacher, Mrs. Bell, had she had been forced to wedge her lessons within the confines of today's PARCC tests. Her dark eyes...

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We're Here, We Blurt, Get Used to It

(0) Comments | Posted November 4, 2014 | 10:31 AM

I am Michael Phelps, so graceful and powerful in the water, but like an overgrown, slobbering toddler learning to walk once I hit dry land. Dropping, spilling, falling, and blurting my way up a steep path that feels all my own. Even while swimming, my thoughts come racing like a...

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We're All Freaks, Some Are Just Deeper In Hiding

(1) Comments | Posted October 15, 2014 | 6:30 AM

As a teenager I felt like that solid, red pimple with no give, no whitehead ripe for a satisfying squeeze. The pain on the outside reflecting the tense churning and discomfort underneath. A differentness I knew would keep me permanently locked out of their circle, disconnected from everyone else who...

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Friends That Don't Let You Lose You

(12) Comments | Posted August 21, 2014 | 7:15 AM

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The destruction I've wreaked upon my fingernails and all surrounding skin began shortly after starting a new school in third grade. Second grade had been a dream. I reminisced about it so much that my older brother and sister mocked me at the...

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Rape Stole My Soul

(6) Comments | Posted August 15, 2014 | 11:13 AM

The content of this post may be sensitive to some readers.

Rape stole my belief in myself and left in its wake a corpse lying in a heap on an unmade bed.

Rape took away the little girl I loved and put an actor in her place.

...
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Mute in Middle School

(6) Comments | Posted June 25, 2014 | 11:52 AM

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He must have thought I was mute. Whenever I saw his sparkling smile and slightly-bowed legs coming down the junior high halls anywhere near my locker, my brain short circuited, and I could not speak. I would look down, away, anywhere his gaze...

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The Most Painful Moment Of My Life

(18) Comments | Posted February 4, 2014 | 4:33 AM

I remember vividly sitting on each others' beds on Saturday and Sunday mornings, recounting the previous night's escapades with my college roommates. The story I remember most clearly was a Halloween night when two of my roommates, disguised as evil Raggedy Anne and Andy (thanks to some weak, runny mascara),...

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Bye, Bye 36B

(4) Comments | Posted December 3, 2013 | 5:16 AM

"Raaaaab. Was it the 34A or AA that was too big?," my mom yells from across the small, dimly lit family-owned department store whose bras were a rite of passage for local junior high girls. Bra shopping at 12 is cringe-inducing enough, but when the store owners' son is a...

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Like Me. Like Me. Find Your Backbone Or Lose Yourself

(12) Comments | Posted October 22, 2013 | 7:47 AM

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Sitting in my friend Megan's wood-paneled den watching "General Hospital" with my 12-year-old pals in the late 70s, a spontaneous poll broke out. Via anonymous crumpled pieces of notebook paper, Pam was voted the prettiest, Patty the funniest, Kate the best athlete, Stacey the...

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Time to Pet Your Fellow Rats: Lessons From My First Staycation

(9) Comments | Posted July 15, 2013 | 10:55 AM

Being on vacation while others around you are not can be like being the only sober person in a crowd of raging drunks. As my mangled fingernails and surrounding cuticles can attest, I'm no Zen goddess. But spending a week at home with my family sans work allowed me to...

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Carmina, Seth And Connections Untended

(20) Comments | Posted June 22, 2013 | 7:24 AM

I went to my summer orientation at Ithaca College in 1983 mainly concerned with the paltry, much-ballyhooed 1:3 guy/girl ratio. That fear quickly gave way to elation when I saw Seth -- a tanned fellow frosh with a shy, crooked smile and black Specials t-shirt sitting on a dorm room...

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