Just Listen To Me!

Over the past few months I have been struck by the velocity of popular articles on praise, happiness and the collective indulgence of the twenty-somethings who seem to have their own rules and expectations. FORTUNE Magazine recently featured a cover story, "Manage Us? Puh-leeze" with the subtitle, "You raised them, now Manage Them."

As leaders (and parents) we need a Field Guide to understand Generation Y, the indulged, tattooed, pierced and impatient 24-29 year olds who seem to have no sense of boundaries and expectations. They are high maintenance and self-absorbed, but they come ready to work, if on their own terms, and they expect a lot of their bosses and themselves.

They also want happiness...who doesn't...but in the workplace they expect prizes and attention. More and more managers tell us that these new citizens of corporate America need a slap of reality. They lack perspective, and are only mildly curious about how they are doing. The want feedback, but aren't sure how to ask for it. In truth, they want what 40 and 50 somethings want: leaders they can respect, clear guidance and a path to achieving something personally satisfying, but ultimately, important to the enterprise.

The irony is that one of the deficits we find in many leaders is that they can suffer from the corporate version of attention deficit disorder: they don't pay attention, don't acknowledge contributions, aren't present in conversations, barely listen or express appreciation or give thoughtful feedback. They don't think about thanking, and they often seem ungrateful. They assume everyone understands why.

I found guidance in a wise book by Steve Harrison, The Manager's Book of Decencies: How Small Gestures Build Great Companies. Steve, Chairman of Lee, Hecht Harrison, in describing his father's role as a psychiatrist, writes "My father's job was to listen--perhaps the ultimate decency of all." As most managers know, there are even more decencies a company can extend to its employees--small decencies like a coffee cart, a work-at-home day, introductions at meetings, and the freedom to choose projects that interest them. And then there are large decencies like company-wide mentoring programs, flexible schedules/shifts, defined employee rights, gestures of gratitude, and inviting employees to voice their opinions and concerns.

This book provides a list of these decencies, categorized under chapter titles like Consideration Decencies, Recognition Decencies, and Executive Humility Decencies, that can lead to workplaces where people are excited to come to work and happy to do their jobs. Harrison profiles a number of decency-extending companies like Lee Hecht Harrison, Disney, HP, Nabisco, Starbucks...the list goes on. Here's a brief excerpt from Harrison's book about building great companies:

"Creating environments that employees describe as "a great place to work" and in which employees are free to speak their minds relies on the practice of decencies on a regular basis by everyone in the organization. It also takes leadership at the top to start the process, reinforce the efforts along the way, and communicate the long-term benefits of creating and sustaining an organization culture based on trust. These practices go beyond the leaders at the top to become common acts among people throughout the organization."

In all of this I feel compelled to express some compassion for our CEO clients who face daily performance pressure from the Street, shareholders, their employees and competitors, to say nothing about their need to connect with their families, friends and have something that approaches a life outside the office. We don't use the word "balance" anymore, for life and business complexities make that tougher than ever. Instead, all of us strive to better integrate all the players and priorities in our life.

A wise executive coach, Marshall Goldsmith, notes that there are things we can do to more deeply engage colleagues, partners and pals of all ages: ask for feedback ("How am I doing? How can we be more effective together?"), apologize when you've screwed up, listen more deeply and often, and say "thank you." Gratitude is not an abstraction. It opens doors and builds mutual respect.

Not bad advice no matter what age we are.

Comments

[kardwell]

Well into my 30's and pushing 40, sadly, have yet to work with an organization that possesses qualified and effective leadership. Mediocrity, greed, opportunism and divisive politics rule. Whereas positive traits such as character, work ethic, loyalty, and innovative thinking -- qualities once admired and rewarded, are now devalued, if not punished. Decency of character is somehow too "challenging" to the bottom line and must be quelled by individuals whose careers DEPEND on perpetuating pathology.

I wish I could retire early. Not because I am lazy, unmotivated, or lacking ambition, but because swimming with the sharks is so damned alienating and demoralizing.

[shades3]

No it wasn't the current President Bush who was surprised at the price of ordinary groceries. It was his father, the previous President Bush who not only was surprised at what things cost, but was intrugued by the new scanners at the supermarket.

The sad thing is that no matter how prices of familiar and necessary items, such as bread, and gasoline rise, President Bush need not concern himself that he won't be able to carry on life as he is accustomed to living it, not looking at pricetags.

We, on the other hand, notice that the price of maintaining our lifestyles has steadily exceeded the disposable income that we have to pay for it.
I guess that we picked the wrong parents and the wrong vocations.
We should have realized that earlier.
It's our fault, if you listen to the lack of concern in Bush's voice when confronted with what it costs to live now.

[wilhelmR]

CEOs and the C-Level Executives get what they paid for: Hiring rookies that would not be able to replace them. Where are most of the C-Level Executives today coming from? They are hired from the "Internet Boom" Days and Companies who weren't ready in Management. They despised anybody older than 40, Now they are themselves older than 40 years old and they themselves don't have any manners with their employees or their customers because they didn't learn any better. This is one very important reason of the mess our economy is in. I am glad I decided to tell the workplace to go and fuck-up. I retired earlier than I wanted or expected, with less money than expected. However, I am happy that all these "workplace and economic problems" are YOUR problems not mine.

[magen]

Currently, most large corporations have a policy of-It's all good as long as the bottom line is in the black, no matter who get effed, and it doesn't get on the news, or go public somehow.

How can you say "Just listen to me" when this is the policy and Generation Y sees the "people" in control now messing thing up worse than the guilded age robber barons (if they even know what that is)

You rise in corporations not on your merit and skills, but by showing up, loyalty and saying yes to the bosses even when you know you should be saying no. Kinda like how you rise in the Bushco administration.

[BeyondGoodAndEvil]

Most CEOs and executives have achieved their positions through kicking down and kissing up.
They steal ideas from more talented people with less ambition, and take credit for other's achievements, and blame those below them for their own mistakes. This is a common complaint from employees all over America.

Sure there might still be a few decent CEO's and executives but they are usually running private companies. As the demand for results at any cost increases from shareholders only concerned with performance and price, the ethics of those in charge seems to decrease exponentially.

[mommadona]

"The irony is that one of the deficits we find in many leaders is that they can suffer from the corporate version of attention deficit disorder: they don't pay attention, don't acknowledge contributions, aren't present in conversations, barely listen or express appreciation or give thoughtful feedback. They don't think about thanking, and they often seem ungrateful. They assume everyone understands why."

Yep - that sums it up...

Who in the WORLD would trust a "Harvard MBA" after Bush et al.

Yep - LOUSY LEADERSHIP and LOUSY LEADERSHIP TRAINING at the highest level.

[hopeless277]

Poor CEOs. I think I'm about to cry...