17 Things Not To Say To A Friend With Breast Cancer

06/25/2015 07:59 am ET | Updated Jun 25, 2016

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I don't want to seem like an ungrateful bitch (one whom ironically practices Gratitude) but I feel the need to vent a little. I have cancer, so you will have to forgive me (nice use of the "C-Card," right?)

I'll begin today by telling a good story.

A friend of mine reached out when she heard about my cancer diagnosis. Many years ago, my parents fixed this friend up with Marty, a wonderful man who happened to be my dad's best friend in high school. She ended up marrying Marty, and the fact that my dad's best friend from high school turned out to be her soulmate made both my parents incredibly happy. It makes me happy too.

"Do you know that Marty keeps a picture of your father in his underwear draw?" she asked me.

"I didn't know that...."

"Yeah, and every night before we go to bed, Marty says goodnight to your dad, and asks me if I want to. I usually say, 'goodnight Freddy!' and then we have a laugh."

Some people just make you feel better, without even trying.

They tell you a story that makes you smile for days.

They send you an email with a joke -- and even if it is stupid, it makes you laugh out loud.

They ask how you are today with exactly the right tone, without the sad doggy eyes. They say they are thinking about you, wishing you the best. They say they are sorry that you have to be dealing with something so scary. They give you a hug.

They nail it.

And then there are others, and unfortunately there are more than just a few out there -- they are the people who really don't nail it.

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Earlier on Huff/Post50:

Five Things You Should Never Eat (And What To Eat Instead)