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Rory Fitzgerald

Rory Fitzgerald

Posted: July 27, 2010 11:12 AM

In a startling and unprovoked attack on Paul the Psychic Octopus, the Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad called the octopus a symbol of Western decadence and accused him of spreading "western propaganda and superstition."

Paul was mentioned by Mr. Ahmadinejad on a number of occasions during a speech in Tehran at the weekend. Paul recently became an international celebrity after correctly predicting the outcome of all German World Cup matches.

The Iranian President said: "Those who believe in this type of thing cannot be the leaders of the global nations that aspire, like Iran, to human perfection, basing themselves in the love of all sacred values."

A visibly shaken Paul spoke out earlier today saying: "As an octopus, I can claim some objectivity in my view human affairs."

"From my reading of the 9/11 Commission report, I understand that Iran is believed to be linked with al-Qaeda. Al-Qaeda in turn is understood to be linked to the twin bombings in Uganda that killed 74 innocent people while they watched the World Cup final on TV."

"Octopus morality must be very different from Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's perspective on things, but for us Octopi the killing of innocent people constitutes a much more serous moral offence than jokingly predicting the outcome of football games."

He also said that he had never before seen such a lack of a sense of humor in a human being, despite the fact that he lives in Germany.

The latest threat to Paul comes just weeks after some Argentineans threatened to kill Paul and put him in a paella. He is understood to be undergoing counseling and to be developing a fear of humans.

 

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