09/03/2013 01:44 pm ET Updated Nov 03, 2013

Three Keys to More Positive Parenting (and a Happier You) After Divorce

Parenting during and after divorce can be complex, frustrating and confusing. However, every day parents around the world are coping with the challenges and raising happy, well-adjusted children. There are many factors that influence your effectiveness as a parent. Here we'll review three factors that play an important role in your pre- and post-divorce parenting success.

Monitor your attitude:
Attitude plays a crucial part in every facet of our lives and especially when we're coping with divorce. If you approach your divorce with a commitment to making it as positive an experience as possible on behalf of the children you love, you are on your way to succeeding.

What attitude are you conveying about your divorce? Try to catch your thoughts and the way you speak about it. Are you filled with negativity? Are your days consumed with a "poor me" state of consciousness? Are you attracting and spending time with others who share those sentiments? If so, it's time for an overhaul in your thinking and attitude.

A child-centered divorce is created over weeks, months and years of attention to positive parenting. It's never too late to start regardless of how long you have been divorced. The decisions you make today will affect the relationships within your family tomorrow and for decades to come.

Understand the power of perceptions:

The world is what we perceive it to be. Whether you believe it's good or bad -- you will be right -- and create an outcome to justify your belief.

If you perceive yourself to be a victim in your divorce, you will focus on evidence to prove that to be true.

If you instead look upon your divorce as a life experience to learn from, you will derive many benefits and value from the divorce, no matter how much pain is also involved. In addition, you'll be better able to accept responsibility for the part you played in the process and be more willing to contemplate new ways to live your life in the future that will bring more positive results.

Sadly, it's through challenging experiences that we grow and learn the most from life. Are you uncovering meaningful lessons for you?

Look for the gift behind the challenge:

There are always lessons to be learned from painful experiences. If you perceive those lessons as "gifts" to you -- wisdom and opportunities you will never have otherwise experienced -- you can move on from your divorce a better, stronger, wiser person. There is always a gift to be received if you look for it. Those who do are rewarded with greater insight and a more positive approach to every life challenge, even divorce!

Subscribe to the Lifestyle email.
We’re basically your best friend... with better advice.